Dr Justin Coulson's Happy Families

The Silent Message Your Face Sends

When your child walks into the room, what do they see? Drawing from Toni Morrison's profound insight and an Olympic coach's wisdom about competition, discover how subtle expressions shape our children's sense of worth and why measuring against our own progress matters more than beating others. Plus, learn why even well-intentioned critical looks might be sending the wrong message.

Quote of the Episode: "When they walked in the room, I was glad to see them. It's just as small as that... That is how you learn what your value is."

Key Insights:

• Children read facial expressions more than words.

• Good intentions can still show as criticism.

• Competition should focus on personal improvement.

• Our reactions shape children's sense of worth.

• Joy should be visible, not just felt.

• Even caring criticism can appear negative.

• Personal bests matter more than winning.

• Face-to-face interactions shape self-worth.

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A mum's classroom confrontation made headlines, but the full story reveals a more complex reality about school bullying. Learn why traditional approaches often fail, what evidence you need to collect, and when removing your child might be the best option. Plus, discover why building adult relationships could matter more than peer connections.

Quote of the Episode:

"Fundamentally our job is to keep our kids safe. When we can't control others' behaviour, sometimes removing our children is the only option."

Key Insights:

• High emotions lead to poor decision-making.
• Evidence collection is crucial for intervention.
• Restorative practice isn't always effective. 
• Working within the system brings better results.
• Adult mentoring may be more valuable than peer relationships.
• System escalation requires documented evidence.
• Physical and psychological safety must be priorities.
• Traditional age-based socialisation may need rethinking.

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Does helping around the house lead to a better love life? In this preview of Saturday's interview with Professor Leah Ruppanner, we explore the surprising truth about mental load duplication in relationships and why keeping score might be missing the point. Plus, discover why men who share the mental load don't just get 'lucky' - they get better sleep, health, and life satisfaction too.

Quote of the Episode: "The load hasn't shifted, it is still as heavy as it was, but now we're shouldering it together."

Key Insights:

• Both partners often carry duplicate worries and mental load
• Men frequently carry heavy but unspoken burdens
• Task division isn't about transactions but teamwork
• Mental load reduction isn't about attraction but creating space for connection
• Daily vs episodic tasks affect how couples share responsibilities
• Working as a team matters more than keeping score
• Sharing mental load benefits both partners' wellbeing
• Open communication about burdens strengthens relationships

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When everything's a battle with your three-year-old, understanding the developmental realities can transform your approach. Learn why emotional regulation, theory of mind, and language development explain those challenging behaviours, and discover three practical solutions that actually work. Plus, find out why your child might be an angel at daycare but struggle at home - and why that's actually a good sign.

Quote of the Episode: "We expect way too much of our children emotionally and not nearly enough of them physically."

Key Insights:

• Emotional regulation begins developing at age 3-4
• Theory of Mind develops around ages 4.5-5.5
• Language limitations affect behaviour management
• Different contexts (home vs daycare) create different behaviours
• Connection matters more than correction
• Rushing and time pressure escalate emotions
• The importance of autonomy for toddler cooperation
• Fun can transform routine tasks

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When kids feel they belong at school, the benefits last up to 10 years into their future. Drawing from groundbreaking Monash University research, discover why school belonging trumps academic success for long-term wellbeing, and learn the two key relationships that can transform your child's school experience. Plus, get practical strategies to help your child build stronger school connections, even if they're struggling to fit in.

Quote of the Episode: "Those children who felt a strong sense of belonging in high school experienced fewer mental health challenges in their 20s."

Key Insights:

• School belonging impacts mental health well into the mid-20s
• Two key factors: one supportive adult and one friend at school
• Strong school belonging leads to better engagement and motivation
• Social connections act as a resource that helps accumulate more positive relationships
• Belonging increases resilience and ability to cope with stress
• Effects persist even when controlling for academic performance
• Parent involvement can significantly impact school belonging
• The impact goes beyond immediate happiness to long-term wellbeing

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