10% Happier with Dan Harris

Your health, relationships, and self-esteem all hinge on your attachment style. Here's how to know if you're anxious or avoidant — and how to get more secure. Dr. Amir Levine is a Columbia-trained psychiatrist and neuroscientist and coauthor of the multi-million-copy bestseller Attached, which brought attachment theory into mainstream conversation and remains the #1 book on Amazon in Relationships more than a decade later. His new book Secure expands this work into emotional regulation and everyday well-being. In this episode we talk about: What attachment theory is The four attachment styles — anxious, avoidant, secure, and fearful avoidant — and how to identify which one you are Why your attachment style is not fixed and how it can change What happens in your brain when you're ignored or excluded How being securely connected can extend your life The five pillars of a secure life How to right-size a relationship with someone unreliable Small, seemingly insignificant daily interactions as vehicles for change Two rules of secure engagement that can defuse almost any argument Why anxious and avoidant attachment styles each have genuine superpowers How to build your "attachment topography" Get the 10% with Dan Harris app here Sign up for Dan's free newsletter here Follow Dan on social: Instagram, TikTok Subscribe to our YouTube Channel Join Dan, Sebene Selassie, and Jeff Warren for Meditation Party, a 3-day immersive retreat at the Omega Institute in Rhinebeck, NY, October 16–18. Grab your in-person spot here, or sign up to livestream here! To advertise on the show, contact [email protected] or visit https://advertising.libsyn.com/10HappierwithDanHarris This episode is sponsored by: BetterHelp: Online therapy, matched to your needs. Get 10% off your first month at https://www.betterhelp.com/happier Wix: Build a fully functional website with AI in minutes at https://www.wix.com/harmony IQBAR: To get twenty percent off all IQBAR products, including the ultimate sampler pack, plus free shipping, text DAN to 64000. Warby Parker: Prescription glasses with virtual try-on. Buy one prescription pair and get 20% off additional prescription pairs at https://www.warbyparker.com/happier

We're all hooked on something. Here's the way out, according to an MD who became a beloved nun. Sister Dang Nghiem, MD, ("Sister D") was born in 1968 in Vietnam during the Tet Offensive, the daughter of a Vietnamese mother and an American soldier. She lost her mother at the age of twelve and immigrated to the United States at the age of seventeen with her brother. Living in various foster homes, she learned English and went on to earn a medical degree from the University of California – San Francisco. After suffering further tragedy and loss, she quit her practice as a doctor to travel to Plum Village monastery in France founded by Zen Master Thich Nhat Hanh, where she was ordained a nun in 2000, and given the name Dang Nghiem, which means adornment with nondiscrimination. She is the author of a memoir, Healing: A Woman's Journey from Doctor to Nun (2010), and Mindfulness as Medicine: A Story of Healing and Spirit (2015). This episode is part of our monthlong Do Life Better series. We talk about: Sister D's Buddhist version of the 12 step program, which is a combination of two canonical buddhist lists: the 4 Noble Truths and the Eightfold Path How willpower doesn't fit into the Buddhist path of understanding and working with addiction How to change addiction at its root Practical applications of mindfulness Self-compassion The importance of social support Her thoughts on our relationships to our phones And more Related Episodes: This Episode Will Make You Stronger | Sister Dang Nghiem The Science Of Manifestation | James Doty Sign up for Dan's newsletter here Follow Dan on social: Instagram, TikTok Ten Percent Happier online bookstore Subscribe to our YouTube Channel Our favorite playlists on: Anxiety, Sleep, Relationships, Most Popular Episodes Full Shownotes: https://www.meditatehappier.com/podcast/tph/sister-d-899 Additional Resources: Plum Village Deer Park Monastery Deer Park Monastery YouTube channel For an exclusive offering related to this episode, go to www.DanHarris.com

Why seeing yourself cling is the beginning of freedom — and other Buddhist insights that will stick with you. Pascal Auclair has been immersed in Buddhist practice and study since 1997, sitting retreats in Asia and America. He has been mentored by Joseph Goldstein and Jack Kornfield, who have both been previous guests on this show. Pascal is now a core teacher at the Insight Meditation Society (IMS) in Massachusetts. He is also a co-founder of True North Insight and one of its guiding teachers. In this episode we talk about: What the Four Kinds of Clinging are — and why the Buddha thought this list mattered How clinging to pleasure actually makes pleasure harder to enjoy The "wrong views" that cause the most suffering — and how to hold your opinions less tightly Why clinging to rules and routines shows up in the most ordinary places (including who puts the onions in the pan first) What self-identification is, and why loosening it leads to less guilt, shame, and anxiety A simple bedside inquiry for getting underneath the concept of self Why catching yourself cling is a reason for joy, not self-criticism Related Episodes: 5 Ways To Get Over Yourself | Pascal Auclair Seven Buddhist Ingredients for a Happy Mind | Pascal Auclair Get the 10% with Dan Harris app here Sign up for Dan's free newsletter here Follow Dan on social: Instagram, TikTok Subscribe to our YouTube Channel To advertise on the show, contact [email protected] or visit https://advertising.libsyn.com/10HappierwithDanHarris Thanks to our sponsors: BetterHelp — Online therapy, matched to your needs. Get 10% off your first month at https://www.betterhelp.com/happier Quo – Try Quo for free, plus get 20% off your first six months when you go to quo.com/happier. Rosetta Stone – Get 20% off your Rosetta Stone Sapphire subscription when you sign up today. Visit rosettastone.com/happier

Leveling up, speaking your mind, and why the ability to hear no is the only superpower that matters. Scott Galloway is Professor of Marketing at NYU's Stern School of Business and a serial entrepreneur. He is the New York Times bestselling author of The Four, The Algebra of Happiness, Post Corona, Adrift: America in 100 Charts and The Algebra of Wealth. His most recent book Notes on Being a Man reached #1 on The New York Times Best Seller List. In this episode we talk about: Why "action absorbs anxiety" and other strategies for stress and overthinking Galloway's three-pillar framework for modern masculinity How to handle criticism Fighting tech algorithms to build real-world relationships Embracing the word "no" to build resilience and success Why young people should follow their talent rather than their passion Signaling value through humor and small, daily acts of kindness Get the 10% with Dan Harris app here Sign up for Dan's free newsletter here Follow Dan on social: Instagram, TikTok Subscribe to our YouTube Channel Additional Resources: Prof G Pod Pivot Join Dan, Sebene Selassie, and Jeff Warren for Meditation Party, a 3-day immersive retreat at the Omega Institute in Rhinebeck, NY, October 16–18. Grab your in-person spot here, or sign up to livestream here! To advertise on the show, contact [email protected] or visit https://advertising.libsyn.com/10HappierwithDanHarris Thanks to our sponsors: Northwest Registered Agent — LLC formation, registered agent service, and free business resources at https://www.northwestregisteredagent.com/Happierfree Square – Run your business smarter with Square. You can get up to $200 off Square hardware at square.com/go/happier. Gusto – Try Gusto today at gusto.com/happier and get three months free when you run your first payroll. Leesa — Go to leesa.com for 25% off select mattresses, plus get an extra $50 off with promo code HAPPIER.

A hilarious chat about therapy, doomscrolling, being typecast in your own life, and finding yourself in middle age. Actor, comedian, writer, and producer Billy Eichner burst onto the scene in 2011 with Billy on the Street, a satirical TV game show he created and starred in, where Billy walked the streets of New York City asking people to compete in pop culture trivia challenges. The show has not only become a dominant force on social media with hundreds of millions of views but remains one of the most beloved and respected comedy acts in the industry. In this episode we talk about: Why Billy refuses to call his memoir a self-help book His complicated relationship with meditation Why he only started therapy in his early 40s Acting class as accidental therapy The real Billy vs. the Billy on the Street character How his parents shaped his confidence and career A bar mitzvah breakdown and his mom's advice And much more Get the 10% with Dan Harris app here Sign up for Dan's free newsletter here Follow Dan on social: Instagram, TikTok Subscribe to our YouTube Channel Additional Resources: Billy on Billy: An Audio Memoir Join Dan, Sebene Selassie, and Jeff Warren for Meditation Party, a 3-day immersive retreat at the Omega Institute in Rhinebeck, NY, October 16–18. Grab your in-person spot here, or sign up to livestream here! To advertise on the show, contact [email protected] or visit https://advertising.libsyn.com/10HappierwithDanHarris