Real Men Feel with Andy Grant

Let's connect in Authentic AF: https://www.skool.com/authenticafI Turn 60 Today: Growing Up Without Growing Old | Real Men Feel with Andy GrantAndy Grant, host of Real Men Feel, shares that he turns sixty today and reflects on never expecting to live past twenty. He notes he doesn’t feel much different from how he did at thirty and is in better shape now than when he graduated from university. Andy challenges the common belief that aging is inevitably “all downhill,” saying that may be true for some people but not for him, and encourages others to respond the same way. He emphasizes that growing up doesn’t have to mean growing old and cites men who felt great into their eighties and nineties because they kept learning, staying active, trying new things, laughing, and living. His advice at sixty: never stop learning, never stop trying new things, never stop having fun, and don’t waste life needing to be right all the time.00:00 Turning Sixty Today00:37 Rethinking Your Peak00:44 Rejecting Age Decline01:21 Growing Up Not Old01:42 Advice For Sixty01:50 Choose Happy Over Right02:11 Life Is Good#RealMenFeel 410

Turning 60 and Staying Connected: Celebrating Male FriendshipHost Andy Grant records a road-trip documentary to Northern California with five high school friends celebrating turning 60, using intimate one-on-one interviews to explore adult male friendship amid “male loneliness” statistics (men with six or more close friends dropping from 55% to 27%, and 15% reporting zero close friends). His friends discuss the conscious effort required to maintain long-distance bonds, barriers like busyness, being a homebody, and social anxiety, and the value of communities such as church men’s groups, volunteering, and shared activities; one shares the “big important thing” approach of scheduling recurring traditions to keep friendships alive. They advise men without friends to make the first move and invite others in (“Come on over for supper”), be themselves rather than perform bravado, and express appreciation and affection (“If you can hug, you’re gonna be an awful lot happier”). Andy also shares past suicide attempts and realizing that the feared stigma often exists only in his mind, closing by inviting listeners to join the Authentic AF community.00:00 Road Trip Friendship Doc00:18 Why Male Friendship Matters01:22 Staying Close Across Distance02:27 Faith Groups And Brotherhood03:34 Busy Lives Social Anxiety05:07 Friendship Through Fun06:46 Effort And Ride Or Die08:51 Make It A Big Thing10:43 Advice For Men Alone13:01 Mental Health Storytime14:38 One Thing Men Should Know17:01 Turning Sixty Reflections17:57 Closing Thoughts & InvitationConnect with Andy:Join other like-minded men in the Authentic AF Community | https://www.realmenfeel.org/groupInstagram | @realmenfeelshow & @theandygrantAndy Grant | https://theandygrant.com for coaching, healing, and book info!Real Men Feel | https://realmenfeel.orgYouTube | https://youtube.com/realmenfeel#RealMenFeel ep 409

Doug Fleener on Sobriety, Self-Trust, and the “What If” Rule: Pause, Question, Go On Real Men Feel, Andy Grant talks with Doug Fleener, author of Start with What If, about how asking better questions can spark practical change. Doug shares how addiction and bankrupting his family business led to a pivotal interruption—“What if today you just went today without drink or drug?”—launching nearly four decades of sobriety. They discuss why men often wait for “rock bottom,” how shame thrives in isolation, and how honesty with another man can turn shame into remorse and responsibility. Doug outlines his “What If” rule—pause, question, go—emphasizing that action creates clarity and that mindset without action changes nothing. He reflects on redefining success beyond money, checking motives, serving others without resentment, and approaching fatherhood as “get to” rather than “have to.” Doug offers a free excerpt and newsletter at startwithwhatif.com, and Andy invites men to realmenfeel.org/group. Quotes: “What if today you just went today without drink or drug?” “The brain is a dangerous place to go alone.” “Mind shift without action changes nothing.”00:00 Why Men Hide Feelings00:21 Meet Doug Fleener01:17 The First What If03:20 Rock Bottom Choices08:06 From Shame to Action09:35 Pause Question Go11:29 Stop Catastrophizing14:08 Redefining Success17:46 Second Chance Fatherhood19:22 Action Creates Clarity23:16 Get Help Stay Connected26:17 Where to Find Doug28:45 Final TakeawaysConnect with DougDoug Fleener — https://startwithwhatif.com Instagram — https://instagram.com/dougfleenerYouTube — https://www.youtube.com/@doug-fleenerFacebook — https://www.facebook.com/startwithwhatifTikTok — http://tiktok.com/@dougfleenerLinkedIn — http://www.linkedin.com/in/dougfleenerResourcesStart With What If by Doug Fleener — https://amzn.to/4oAHL44Connect with Andy:Join other like-minded men in the Authentic AF Community | https://www.realmenfeel.org/groupInstagram | @realmenfeelshow & @theandygrantAndy Grant | https://theandygrant.com for coaching, healing, and book info!Real Men Feel | https://realmenfeel.orgYouTube | https://youtube.com/realmenfeel#RealMenFeel ep 408

Emotional Alchemy, Shame, and Healthy MasculinityHost Andy Grant welcomes back holistic life and relationship coach Markus Kasunich to discuss “emotional alchemy,” shame, and how men may self-emasculate in reaction to toxic masculinity. Markus defines emotional alchemy as a three-part process—emotional awareness (visceral sensing), emotional intelligence (real-time articulation), and processing through feeling—arguing the emotional body can clear old material efficiently. They explore how men commonly repress anger and sadness due to conditioning, and how healing means changing one’s relationship to patterns rather than eliminating conditioning. Markus distinguishes toxic masculinity as the shadow side of masculine archetypes (king, father, warrior, magician, sacred lover, sage) and urges men, especially younger men in dating, to cultivate refined, emotionally available masculinity without shame: “The only real ability to process emotions is to feel them,” “You never get rid of the conditioning, but you can definitely change the relationship to the conditioning,” and “The access to your consciousness starts with feeling.”00:00 Emotions and Needs00:20 Meet Markus Kasunich02:12 What Is Emotional Alchemy04:20 Clearing Emotions Faster06:25 Men and Suppressed Feelings08:07 Permission and Awareness10:39 Shame and Self Emasculation12:58 Toxic Masculinity Explained17:18 Owning Conditioning Without Shame20:38 Healing Your Relationship21:45 Responding Not Reacting23:18 Masculinity On Off Myth25:21 Dating Shame Spiral26:52 Reclaiming Healthy Archetypes29:18 Emotionally Mature Man31:39 Future Of Masculinity33:52 What Women Misunderstand36:34 When Vulnerability Gets Rejected39:25 How To Connect With Markus40:53 Feelings As Consciousness42:27 Final Takeaways And Community Connect with MarkusMarkus Kasunich — https://markuskasunich.com Instagram — https://www.instagram.com/markuswkasunich/YouTube — https://www.youtube.com/@markuskasunich3583Facebook — https://www.facebook.com/markuswkasunich/Connect with Andy:Join other like-minded men in the Authentic AF Community | https://www.realmenfeel.org/groupInstagram | @realmenfeelshow & @theandygrantAndy Grant | https://theandygrant.com for coaching, healing, and book info!Real Men Feel | https://realmenfeel.orgYouTube | https://youtube.com/realmenfeel#RealMenFeel ep 407

From Marine to Somatic Intimacy Guide: Andre Lazarus on Presence Over PerformanceHost Andy Grant interviews Andre Lazarus, a former US Marine turned somatic intimacy guide and surrogate partner therapist featured on the UK series Virgin Island. Andre describes serving in Afghanistan, leading others, and later being drawn into intimacy work after partners reflected its therapeutic impact, alongside unlearning rigid ideas of masculinity. He critiques the manosphere as often dangerous but notes it offers community and conversation to struggling young men. Andre defines somatic work as body-based healing—through breath, touch, and nervous-system regulation—often more effective than talk alone for physical or sexual trauma, and discusses common male intimacy issues like rapid ejaculation, erectile concerns, dissociation, and over-focusing on a partner’s pleasure. He emphasizes breathing as a foundational practice, compassion in difficult family relationships, that surrogate partner therapy is a triadic model with a licensed therapist, and that “intimacy is not performance, its presence,” “simple doesn’t mean easy,” and “there is no one way of being a man.”00:00 Surrogate Therapy Explained00:43 Meet Andre Lazarus01:32 From Marines to Intimacy03:28 Masculinity and Unlearning07:35 Vulnerability Myths09:13 Manosphere Pull Explained14:34 Somatics Defined16:18 Men’s Hidden Intimacy Struggles20:45 Breath as First Practice24:03 Healing Father Wounds27:05 Virgin Island and Surrogacy29:57 Going Public With the Work32:42 Boundaries With Clients34:33 Never Too Late to Grow36:01 Connect With Andre37:39 Final Takeaways on PresenceConnect with AndreAndre Lazarus — https://coming-closer.com/Instagram — https://www.instagram.com/comingcloserwithandre/Highlights of Virgin Island — https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLbnU9iq6kGBFORNkmpVkNhQ6KoZVkf04TConnect with Andy:Join other like-minded men in the Authentic AF Community | https://www.realmenfeel.org/groupInstagram | @realmenfeelshow & @theandygrantAndy Grant | https://theandygrant.com for coaching, healing, and book info!Real Men Feel | https://realmenfeel.orgYouTube | https://youtube.com/realmenfeel#RealMenFeel ep 406