Real Men Feel with Andy Grant

Emotional Alchemy, Shame, and Healthy MasculinityHost Andy Grant welcomes back holistic life and relationship coach Markus Kasunich to discuss “emotional alchemy,” shame, and how men may self-emasculate in reaction to toxic masculinity. Markus defines emotional alchemy as a three-part process—emotional awareness (visceral sensing), emotional intelligence (real-time articulation), and processing through feeling—arguing the emotional body can clear old material efficiently. They explore how men commonly repress anger and sadness due to conditioning, and how healing means changing one’s relationship to patterns rather than eliminating conditioning. Markus distinguishes toxic masculinity as the shadow side of masculine archetypes (king, father, warrior, magician, sacred lover, sage) and urges men, especially younger men in dating, to cultivate refined, emotionally available masculinity without shame: “The only real ability to process emotions is to feel them,” “You never get rid of the conditioning, but you can definitely change the relationship to the conditioning,” and “The access to your consciousness starts with feeling.”00:00 Emotions and Needs00:20 Meet Markus Kasunich02:12 What Is Emotional Alchemy04:20 Clearing Emotions Faster06:25 Men and Suppressed Feelings08:07 Permission and Awareness10:39 Shame and Self Emasculation12:58 Toxic Masculinity Explained17:18 Owning Conditioning Without Shame20:38 Healing Your Relationship21:45 Responding Not Reacting23:18 Masculinity On Off Myth25:21 Dating Shame Spiral26:52 Reclaiming Healthy Archetypes29:18 Emotionally Mature Man31:39 Future Of Masculinity33:52 What Women Misunderstand36:34 When Vulnerability Gets Rejected39:25 How To Connect With Markus40:53 Feelings As Consciousness42:27 Final Takeaways And Community Connect with MarkusMarkus Kasunich — https://markuskasunich.com Instagram — https://www.instagram.com/markuswkasunich/YouTube — https://www.youtube.com/@markuskasunich3583Facebook — https://www.facebook.com/markuswkasunich/Connect with Andy:Join other like-minded men in the Authentic AF Community | https://www.realmenfeel.org/groupInstagram | @realmenfeelshow & @theandygrantAndy Grant | https://theandygrant.com for coaching, healing, and book info!Real Men Feel | https://realmenfeel.orgYouTube | https://youtube.com/realmenfeel#RealMenFeel ep 407

From Marine to Somatic Intimacy Guide: Andre Lazarus on Presence Over PerformanceHost Andy Grant interviews Andre Lazarus, a former US Marine turned somatic intimacy guide and surrogate partner therapist featured on the UK series Virgin Island. Andre describes serving in Afghanistan, leading others, and later being drawn into intimacy work after partners reflected its therapeutic impact, alongside unlearning rigid ideas of masculinity. He critiques the manosphere as often dangerous but notes it offers community and conversation to struggling young men. Andre defines somatic work as body-based healing—through breath, touch, and nervous-system regulation—often more effective than talk alone for physical or sexual trauma, and discusses common male intimacy issues like rapid ejaculation, erectile concerns, dissociation, and over-focusing on a partner’s pleasure. He emphasizes breathing as a foundational practice, compassion in difficult family relationships, that surrogate partner therapy is a triadic model with a licensed therapist, and that “intimacy is not performance, its presence,” “simple doesn’t mean easy,” and “there is no one way of being a man.”00:00 Surrogate Therapy Explained00:43 Meet Andre Lazarus01:32 From Marines to Intimacy03:28 Masculinity and Unlearning07:35 Vulnerability Myths09:13 Manosphere Pull Explained14:34 Somatics Defined16:18 Men’s Hidden Intimacy Struggles20:45 Breath as First Practice24:03 Healing Father Wounds27:05 Virgin Island and Surrogacy29:57 Going Public With the Work32:42 Boundaries With Clients34:33 Never Too Late to Grow36:01 Connect With Andre37:39 Final Takeaways on PresenceConnect with AndreAndre Lazarus — https://coming-closer.com/Instagram — https://www.instagram.com/comingcloserwithandre/Highlights of Virgin Island — https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLbnU9iq6kGBFORNkmpVkNhQ6KoZVkf04TConnect with Andy:Join other like-minded men in the Authentic AF Community | https://www.realmenfeel.org/groupInstagram | @realmenfeelshow & @theandygrantAndy Grant | https://theandygrant.com for coaching, healing, and book info!Real Men Feel | https://realmenfeel.orgYouTube | https://youtube.com/realmenfeel#RealMenFeel ep 406

From Busy Brain to Loving Heart: Howard Steinberg on Trauma, Achievement, and Authentic MasculinityHost Andy Grant interviews Howard Steinberg, author of Confessions of a Problem Seeker, about how compulsive hyperthinking and achievement masked inherited trauma from being raised by Holocaust survivors, plus the fear and isolation shaped by a childhood type 1 diabetes diagnosis and a likely undiagnosed ADHD. Steinberg describes building an outwardly successful identity as an entrepreneur while living in survival mode, then facing a midlife unraveling marked by business losses, divorce, and shifting family roles that forced surrender and deeper emotional work. Howard shares how meditation, breathwork, somatic awareness, spiritual therapy, and psychedelic-assisted healing helped him move from mind-based control to heart-based truth, reframing masculinity as love and vulnerability. Key takeaways include: “I wish I had the courage to live an authentic life,” “The mind operates in fear… the heart operates in love,” and “You’re good enough… nothing to prove.”00:00 Top Regret of the Dying00:23 Meet Howard Steinberg01:18 What Is a Problem Seeker03:04 Survival Mode Origins06:50 Hiding Vulnerability08:01 Authenticity and Psychedelics09:11 Midlife Unraveling11:58 Ambition as Survival14:03 Advice for Life Collapse19:05 Tools That Opened the Heart22:54 Somatics Get Out of Your Head24:47 Trauma Family and Community26:17 Forgiving and Reframing Parents27:33 Fatherhood Grandfatherhood Love28:25 Authentic Masculinity Is Love29:20 Where to Find the Book29:46 You’re Good Enough30:42 Closing Reflections and CommunityConnect with HowardHoward Steinberg — https://howardsteinberg.com/Confessions of a Problem Seeker: My Lifetime Journey From Busy Brain To Loving Heart — https://amzn.to/3PS3ffXConnect with Andy:Join other like-minded men in the Authentic AF Community | https://www.realmenfeel.org/groupInstagram | @realmenfeelshow & @theandygrantAndy Grant | https://theandygrant.com for coaching, healing, and book info!Real Men Feel | https://realmenfeel.orgYouTube | https://youtube.com/realmenfeel#RealMenFeel ep 405

Men, Masks, and Meaning: Sean Hegarty on Being “Fine,” Identity, and Men Forge ForwardHost Andy Grant talks with Sean Hegarty, founder of Men Forge Forward, about how many men hide stress behind the mask of being “fine,” shaped by pressure, responsibility, and fear of appearing weak. Drawing on years as a paramedic and healthcare manager, Sean describes seeing men buckle under hidden load—especially during COVID when support networks vanished—and shares his own “dark time” after being diagnosed with complex PTSD and Functional Neurological Disorder, which ended his paramedic career and triggered depression and suicidal thoughts. Through therapy, networking, and coaching, he learned to separate identity from job, focus inward on values, and build an accessible Skool-based community that became a supportive brotherhood. He explains signs of being stuck, the power of vulnerability and peer support, his critique of commercial coaching frameworks, and emphasizes that “it’s okay not to be okay.”00:00 I'm Fine Lie00:23 Meet Sean Hegarty01:11 Emergency Care Stress04:10 Masks And Weakness06:51 Losing Paramedic Identity08:38 Coaching Turning Point11:20 Building Men Forge13:36 Brotherhood Community16:23 Not Finished Just Stuck21:34 Signs He's Not Fine23:39 Leading With Micro Wins25:54 Connect And Closing Connect with SeanMen Forge Forward — http://menforgeforward.com/LinkedIn — https://www.linkedin.com/in/seanhegarty01/Connect with Andy:Join other like-minded men in the Authentic AF Community | https://www.realmenfeel.org/groupInstagram | @realmenfeelshow & @theandygrantAndy Grant | https://theandygrant.com for coaching, healing, and book info!Real Men Feel | https://realmenfeel.orgYouTube | https://youtube.com/realmenfeel#RealMenFeel ep 404

Emotional Fitness: Redefining Strength Through Self-Love and VulnerabilityHost Andy Grant welcomes Shaun Zetlin—master fitness trainer, motivational speaker, and author of Emotional Fitness—who defines “emotional fitness” as empowering yourself emotionally through exercise and releasing emotions stored in the body. Shaun shares how being born with club feet, being picked last, and a humiliating kickball incident where a camp counselor yelled, “What a loser,” led him to survive on shame and fueled his mission to help others not feel ashamed of their bodies. He reframes strength as facing and befriending childhood pain, accepting “Little Shaun” and recognizing that “You wouldn’t be Big Shaun without Little Shaun.” Shaun describes a turning point in high school theatre when he found belonging and confidence, and explains why men avoid vulnerability out of fear of being unlovable and cling to familiar belief systems. Viral quotes: “Shame…is the cruelest emotion of all”; “Surviving on shame”; “Everybody suffers in their own way.”00:00 Shame and the Mission00:18 Meet Shaun Zetlin01:01 What Emotional Fitness Means02:08 From Outcast to Training03:19 Redefining Strength07:06 Finding Belonging on Stage09:39 Kickball Trauma and Shame12:12 Why Men Fear Vulnerability16:31 Using the Gym to Avoid Feelings18:42 Turning Pain into Service24:00 How to Connect and Final Wisdom25:52 Closing Message and CommunityConnect with ShaunShaun Zetlin — https://www.zetlinfitness.com/Instagram — https://instagram.com/zetlinfitness/LinkedIn — https://www.linkedin.com/in/shaun-zetlin-96167270ResourcesEmotional Fitness: Empower Yourself Emotionally Through Exercise by Shaun Zetlin — https://amzn.to/4tnXcxmConnect with Andy:Join other like-minded men in theAuthentic AF Community | https://www.realmenfeel.org/group⁠⁠Instagram | @realmenfeelshow & @theandygrantAndy Grant | https://theandygrant.com⁠⁠⁠ for coaching, healing, and book info!Real Men Feel | https://⁠⁠realmenfeel.org⁠⁠⁠YouTube | https://youtube.com/realmenfeel⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠#RealMenFeel ep 403