Real Men Feel with Andy Grant

Men, Masks, and Meaning: Sean Hegarty on Being “Fine,” Identity, and Men Forge ForwardHost Andy Grant talks with Sean Hegarty, founder of Men Forge Forward, about how many men hide stress behind the mask of being “fine,” shaped by pressure, responsibility, and fear of appearing weak. Drawing on years as a paramedic and healthcare manager, Sean describes seeing men buckle under hidden load—especially during COVID when support networks vanished—and shares his own “dark time” after being diagnosed with complex PTSD and Functional Neurological Disorder, which ended his paramedic career and triggered depression and suicidal thoughts. Through therapy, networking, and coaching, he learned to separate identity from job, focus inward on values, and build an accessible Skool-based community that became a supportive brotherhood. He explains signs of being stuck, the power of vulnerability and peer support, his critique of commercial coaching frameworks, and emphasizes that “it’s okay not to be okay.”00:00 I'm Fine Lie00:23 Meet Sean Hegarty01:11 Emergency Care Stress04:10 Masks And Weakness06:51 Losing Paramedic Identity08:38 Coaching Turning Point11:20 Building Men Forge13:36 Brotherhood Community16:23 Not Finished Just Stuck21:34 Signs He's Not Fine23:39 Leading With Micro Wins25:54 Connect And Closing Connect with SeanMen Forge Forward — http://menforgeforward.com/LinkedIn — https://www.linkedin.com/in/seanhegarty01/Connect with Andy:Join other like-minded men in the Authentic AF Community | https://www.realmenfeel.org/groupInstagram | @realmenfeelshow & @theandygrantAndy Grant | https://theandygrant.com for coaching, healing, and book info!Real Men Feel | https://realmenfeel.orgYouTube | https://youtube.com/realmenfeel#RealMenFeel ep 404

Emotional Fitness: Redefining Strength Through Self-Love and VulnerabilityHost Andy Grant welcomes Shaun Zetlin—master fitness trainer, motivational speaker, and author of Emotional Fitness—who defines “emotional fitness” as empowering yourself emotionally through exercise and releasing emotions stored in the body. Shaun shares how being born with club feet, being picked last, and a humiliating kickball incident where a camp counselor yelled, “What a loser,” led him to survive on shame and fueled his mission to help others not feel ashamed of their bodies. He reframes strength as facing and befriending childhood pain, accepting “Little Shaun” and recognizing that “You wouldn’t be Big Shaun without Little Shaun.” Shaun describes a turning point in high school theatre when he found belonging and confidence, and explains why men avoid vulnerability out of fear of being unlovable and cling to familiar belief systems. Viral quotes: “Shame…is the cruelest emotion of all”; “Surviving on shame”; “Everybody suffers in their own way.”00:00 Shame and the Mission00:18 Meet Shaun Zetlin01:01 What Emotional Fitness Means02:08 From Outcast to Training03:19 Redefining Strength07:06 Finding Belonging on Stage09:39 Kickball Trauma and Shame12:12 Why Men Fear Vulnerability16:31 Using the Gym to Avoid Feelings18:42 Turning Pain into Service24:00 How to Connect and Final Wisdom25:52 Closing Message and CommunityConnect with ShaunShaun Zetlin — https://www.zetlinfitness.com/Instagram — https://instagram.com/zetlinfitness/LinkedIn — https://www.linkedin.com/in/shaun-zetlin-96167270ResourcesEmotional Fitness: Empower Yourself Emotionally Through Exercise by Shaun Zetlin — https://amzn.to/4tnXcxmConnect with Andy:Join other like-minded men in theAuthentic AF Community | https://www.realmenfeel.org/group⁠⁠Instagram | @realmenfeelshow & @theandygrantAndy Grant | https://theandygrant.com⁠⁠⁠ for coaching, healing, and book info!Real Men Feel | https://⁠⁠realmenfeel.org⁠⁠⁠YouTube | https://youtube.com/realmenfeel⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠#RealMenFeel ep 403

Reinvention, Grief, and Identity After Corporate LifeOn Real Men Feel, host Andy Grant talks with reinvention coach Shelley McIntyre about why workplace change triggers resistance rooted in grief and fear of loss, explained through self-determination theory’s three needs: autonomy, competence, and connection. McIntyre distinguishes reinvention coaching from career coaching by focusing on identity questions—when high achievers feel they’ve “masked” themselves with competence, status, and titles, and fear they won’t matter without them. They discuss the hidden grief of losing a career path, the “invisible contract” of loyalty for security that companies don’t actually honor, and signs it’s time to move on, including not liking who you’ve become, loss of belief in the work, and body sensations like “soul rot.” McIntyre outlines phases of reinvention (identity crisis, rebuilding foundation, experimentation) and emphasizes vulnerability, emotional vocabulary tools like an emotions wheel, and low-stakes steps like talking to people who’ve left corporate life, while reminding men that their value is inherent.00:00 Three Needs Triangle00:44 Meet The Guest01:26 From Strategy To Coaching02:10 Resistance And Grief03:31 Self Determination At Work04:45 Reinvention Not Career Coaching06:11 When Competence Becomes Mask07:57 Title Status And Terror10:19 Layoffs Threaten Autonomy10:49 Signs It's Time To Leave12:55 Annihilation Fear And Culture14:45 Invisible Contract Myth17:33 Razor Blade Comfort Zone18:20 Four Phases Of Reinvention20:02 Crisis Versus Pre-Growth24:15 Vulnerability Fuels Change27:16 Emotion Wheel And Vocabulary29:01 Low Stakes First Steps30:42 Where To Find Shelley31:11 Inherent Value Closing31:55 Final Takeaways And InviteConnect with ShelleyShelley McIntyre — https://burnthemapcoaching.com/Burn The Map Podcast — https://burnthemapcoaching.com/podcast/LinkedIn — https://www.linkedin.com/in/shelley-mcintyre/Connect with Andy:Join other like-minded men in theAuthentic AF Community | https://www.realmenfeel.org/group⁠⁠Instagram | @realmenfeelshow & @theandygrantAndy Grant | https://theandygrant.com⁠⁠⁠ for coaching, healing, and book info!Real Men Feel | http://⁠⁠realmenfeel.org⁠⁠⁠YouTube | https://youtube.com/realmenfeel⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠#RealMenFeel ep 402

From Burnout to Boundaries: Clarity, Values, and Life RebootHost Andy Grant interviews coach Loren Silverman, who helps overwhelmed high performers set healthier boundaries, clarify values, and rebuild steadier lives, including through his gamified 12-week “Life Reboot Nerd Edition” (a Dungeons & Dragons-style framework where clients “level up” real-life skills like boundaries and energy mastery). Silverman shares his own burnout and how the 2022 Ukraine invasion—impacting his Ukrainian dev team—prompted him to travel to Poland to transport refugees, reshaping how he wanted to serve people. Loren emphasizes pausing for self-awareness, naming emotions (using tools like a feelings wheel), and choosing clarity over trying harder when misaligned with values: “Are you just not satisfied, or are you despondent?” He defines boundaries as protecting time and energy, warns against reflexive yeses, describes “cleaner conversations” via clear requests, and uses pinball’s “dead bounce” as a metaphor for patience and measured response. He encourages men to embrace vulnerability and intimacy with male friends.00:00 Name Your Feelings00:18 Meet Loren Silverman00:57 Burnout to Coaching01:36 Ukraine Turning Point05:20 What Burnout Felt Like07:25 Values Before Action08:27 Pause Reboot Grow09:01 Clarity Beats Effort11:15 Life Reboot Nerd Edition14:03 Boundaries That Protect17:25 Clean Conversations19:44 Feelings Wheel Basics20:58 Tracking Real Progress22:04 Pinball Life Lessons24:56 Connect and Final WisdomConnect with LorenLoren Silverman — https://www.silvermancoach.com/LinkedIn — https://www.linkedin.com/in/lorensilverman/Instagram — https://www.instagram.com/lorensilvermancoach/Facebook — https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=61578400050255Connect with Andy:Join other like-minded men in theAuthentic AF Community | https://www.realmenfeel.org/group⁠Instagram | @realmenfeelshow & @theandygrantAndy Grant | https://theandygrant.com⁠⁠ for coaching, healing, and book info!Real Men Feel | https://⁠⁠realmenfeel.org⁠⁠YouTube | https://youtube.com/realmenfeel⁠⁠⁠⁠#RealMenFeel ep 401

Episode 400: The Invisible ScorecardHost Andy Grant marks Real Men Feel’s 400th episode and 10-year anniversary with returning guest Vanessa Cardenas, a relationship reset expert, to examine how men constantly measure themselves through an “invisible scorecard” of success, money, status, age, and relationship milestones. They discuss how comparison “pulls a man out of his life and puts him onto someone else’s timeline,” eroding confidence and intimacy, especially when men fill gaps with imagined stories about past partners. Cardenas emphasizes authenticity, dropping the mask, reducing destructive scorekeeping, and using milestones in healthy ways, noting that clarity builds confidence, which in turn supports intimacy. She shares coaching approaches that focus on the here-and-now, appreciation and recognition in relationships, and practical communication shifts. They also explore how significant transformation can happen in 400 minutes, hours, days, or months, and close by urging men to stop measuring by others’ standards and focus on who they are becoming.00:00 Episode 400 Milestone01:24 Vanessa Returns03:35 Why We Measure04:50 Men Internal Scorecard08:27 Comparison Social Media12:17 Mythic Man Programming14:06 Find Your People17:19 Comparison Kills Intimacy20:20 Clarity Builds Confidence22:22 Say It Differently25:03 Relationship Reset Work26:32 Coaching Not Therapy27:49 Starting Sessions With Praise29:30 Drop Comparisons And Scorecards31:06 Milestones Versus Keeping Score32:14 Transform In 40036:29 Men Need Appreciation39:03 Compliments And Being Noticed42:41 Invest In The Work43:39 Authenticity And Connection46:24 Metallica Quote And Joy47:51 Final Takeaways And ThanksConnect with VanessaUnderstanding Ear — https://understandingear.com LinkedIn — https://www.linkedin.com/in/vanessa-cardenas-relationship-reset/Instagram — https://www.instagram.com/vanessa_understandingear/YouTube — https://www.youtube.com/@Vanessa-CardenasResourcesPrior appearances of Vanessa Cardenas — https://www.realmenfeel.org/guests/vanessa-cardenas/Connect with Andy and the Real Men Feel Podcast:Join other like-minded men in theAuthentic AF Community | https://www.realmenfeel.org/groupInstagram | @realmenfeelshow & @theandygrantAndy Grant | https://theandygrant.com⁠ for coaching, healing, and book info!Real Men Feel | httsp://⁠⁠realmenfeel.org⁠YouTube | https://youtube.com/realmenfeel⁠⁠#RealMenFeel ep 400