Being Well with Forrest Hanson and Dr. Rick Hanson

Shame is one of the hardest emotions to work with, in part because it blocks what we need most when we’re feeling shame: self-compassion. Dr. Chris Germer, co-developer of the Mindful Self-Compassion program, joins Forrest to discuss how we can get around that trap. They talk about where shame comes from, how to recognize it when it’s hiding behind other emotions, and practical tools that help us experience less shame. About our Guest: Chris Germer is a clinical psychologist, lecturer at Harvard Medical School, co-developer of the Mindful Self-Compassion program with Dr. Kristin Neff, and author of the new book Self-Compassion for Shame. Key Topics: 0:00: Intro: shame, hiding, and why it blocks self-compassion 2:52: What shame is and why it hides 9:45: How self-compassion changes the inner voice 13:44: The arc of working with shame 18:05: Shame as an innocent emotion 22:57: Backdraft and the wish to be loved 29:50: Self-compassion as exposure 39:43: When people really do judge you 45:33: The "shrug" 47:56: Healthy shame, toxic shame, and the parts of you 58:48: Recap Support the Podcast: We're on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link. Sponsors If you’re ready to simplify the business side of your practice, now is a great time to try SimplePractice. Start with a 7-day free trial, then get 50% off your first three months. Just go to https://SimplePractice.com to claim the offer. Try Gusto today at https://gusto.com/BEINGWELL, and get three months free when you run your first payroll. Get better sleep, backed by your own data. Go to https://OrionSleep.com/BEINGWELL for 15% off. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Cognitive Behavioral Therapy (CBT) is the world's most researched, recommended, and criticized form of therapy. Clinical psychologist Dr. Ellen Hendriksen joins Forrest to talk about what CBT is, its history, its strengths and weaknesses, and why it's gotten such a bad rap. They walk through the common criticisms: that it's spreadsheet therapy, that it's a form of self-gaslighting, and that it has an, er, "complex" relationship with insurance companies. They then apply the best of the CBT toolkit to Ellen's areas of expertise: self-criticism, perfectionism, procrastination, and social anxiety. About our Guest: Ellen is a clinical psychologist at Boston University's Center for Anxiety and Related Disorders and the author of How to Be Yourself and her newest book, ⁠How to Be Enough: Self-Acceptance for Self-Critics and Perfectionists⁠. Key Topics: 00:00: Dr. Ellen Hendricksen and what differentiates CBT 7:54: Is CBT warm? 10:25: The first wave: behaviorism 19:57: The second wave: cognitive therapy and Aaron Beck 26:18: The third wave: mindfulness driven approaches 31:44: How the same problem would be handled by the three waves 34:53: Issues of fit 38:00: Critique 1: CBT is reductive 42:30: When CBT is a poor fit: trauma, intellectualizers 53:27: CBT for social anxiety and perfectionism 1:01:14: The two ingredients of perfectionism 1:07:46: Perfectionism and procrastination 1:25:07: Recap Support the Podcast: We're on Patreon! ⁠If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.⁠ Sponsors Sign up for a one-dollar-per-month trial period at ⁠https://shopify.com/beingwell⁠. MasterClass keeps adding new classes, so there’s never been a better time to get in. Get at least 15% off any annual membership at ⁠https://MasterClass.com/BEINGWELL⁠ Level up your bedding with Quince. Go to ⁠https://Quince.com/BEINGWELL⁠ for free shipping on your order and three hundred and sixty-five-day returns. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Pain psychologist Dr. Rachel Zoffness joins Forrest and Dr. Rick to explore what pain is, why it can persist long after an injury has healed, and what actually helps. Rachel explains why the brain, rather than the body part that hurts, is what constructs pain, the difference between acute and chronic pain, and the distinction between hurt (what you feel) and harm (what's damaged). They get into the biopsychosocial model, the "pain dial" that stress, sleep, mood, and social connection can turn up or down, the disappointing response rates for most pain treatments, why pain is absolutely not “just in your head,” what sham surgery and open-label placebo studies reveal about how pain works, and why the research is so hard to interpret. This is not medical advice. Please do not start, change, or discontinue any medication based on this episode. All decisions should be made with your doctor. About our Guest: Dr. Rachel Zoffness is a pain psychologist, assistant clinical professor at the UCSF School of Medicine, and the author of Tell Me Where It Hurts. Key Topics: 0:00 Introduction 1:42 Acute vs. chronic pain 3:41 What is pain? 9:20 The biopsychosocial model 11:11 Hurt vs. harm: the tale of two nails 19:10 The pain dial 23:10 Nociception vs. pain 26:46 Your pain recipe 29:46 The "all in your head" stigma 31:23 Central sensitization 35:53 Pushback from pain patients 40:42 Loneliness and pain 46:51 Pacing 50:48 Reducing distress vs. reducing pain 54:26 Does anything work? 1:00:07 What placebo actually is 1:03:19 Acupuncture, sham surgery, and open-label placebo 1:09:42 Why the research is such a mess 1:14:10 Hopelessness, and trying one more thing 1:17:46 Mindfulness and attention 1:23:02 Advice for friends and family 1:30:22 Recap Support the Podcast: We're on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link. Sponsors Go to https://Zocdoc.com/BEINGWELL to find and instantly book a top-rated doctor today. Check your health the way I do with 160+ lab tests and access to scans through Function, all for only $365 a year. Learn more at https://functionhealth.com/BEINGWELL and use code BEINGWELL25 for a $25 credit. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Dr. Rick and Forrest talk about what separates people-pleasing from the fawn response, and why those differences affect what actually helps. They trace the surprising history behind both ideas, explain each’s relationship with trauma, and answer common questions along the way. They discuss why old friendships pull you back into old patterns, when appeasement is actually the right call, how to assert your needs when people expect you to concede, and how to figure out what you want after a lifetime of tuning into everyone else. Sign up for Dr. Rick's new Boundaries workshop, and use promo code BeingWell25 to receive a 25% discount. RickHanson.com/Boundaries Key Topics: 0:00: Introduction 2:05: What’s the difference between people-pleasing and “just being nice?” 8:50: Common signs of people-pleasing 21:00: Where "people-pleasing" and “fawning” come from 27:00: Pete Walker, trauma, and how the two terms got merged 30:45: "Is the conflict causing my anxiety, or is my attachment style causing the conflict?" 39:10: Becoming more assertive 47:30: How to change relationships built on the pleasing version of you 55:15: Emotional neglect, shame, and learning what you want 1:04:30: Recap Support the Podcast: We're on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link. Sponsors Visit https://Upwork.com to connect with top talent ready to help your business grow. Visit https://Rula.com/BEINGWELL to find affordable, high-quality therapy that’s actually covered by insurance. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Forrest is joined by his parents, psychologist Dr. Rick Hanson and nutritionist Jan Hanson, to discuss "Depleted Mother Syndrome:” the exhaustion, brain fog, and low mood so many mothers experience. They talk about how Jan hit bottom in the years after Forrest and his sister were born, why the hardest stretch often comes two or more years after birth, the problem with dismissing these experiences as "just motherhood,” and how people can recover. Key Topics: 00:00: Intro & welcome Jan! 2:39: What inspired the book 10:02: Dr. Rick’s perspective 13:30: Depleted Mother Syndrome 18:33: The accumulated impacts of motherhood 25:44: Taking care of your health as a mom 36:40: Rick & Jan’s personal experience 50:08: Small actions that maintain and repair a relationship 1:04:19: What Jan would tell her younger self Support the Podcast: We're on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link. Sponsors If you’re ready to simplify the business side of your practice, now is a great time to try SimplePractice. Start with a 7-day free trial, then get 50% off your first three months. Just go to SimplePractice.com to claim the offer. Go to Zocdoc.com/BEINGWELL to find and instantly book a top-rated doctor today. Get better sleep, backed by your own data. Go to OrionSleep.com/BEINGWELL for 15% off. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices