Being Well with Forrest Hanson and Dr. Rick Hanson

Most of us are pretty bad at conflict, usually because we weren’t taught how to handle it well. But healthy conflict can be one of the best ways to deepen intimacy and trust. In this episode Dr. Rick and Forrest discuss why conflict is so difficult, the models of conflict we inherit from childhood, healthy repair, what emotional flooding does to the brain and body during a fight, and the research on what actually predicts relationship success. They close with a handful of things that get mistaken for repair but aren't, including submission, thin apologies, and just solving the surface problem.  Key Topics: 0:00: Intro 3:19: Repair as the biggest predictor of relationship success 5:29: Models of conflict and where they originate from 16:08: What is healthy repair, and why is it so hard? 24:54: What to do about emotional flooding 30:25: When to let things go, and when to address them 38:36: What repair is and what it's not 46:47: The power of authentic apologies 57:04: Recap Support the Podcast: We're on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link. SponsorsVisit Rula.com/BEINGWELL to find affordable, high-quality therapy that’s actually covered by insurance. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Forrest is joined by neurogastroenterologist Dr. Trisha Pasricha for a conversation about the gut-brain connection, including how gut health impacts our mood and mental health. Dr. Pasricha explains how the gut and the brain communicate, how early gut experiences can shape adult anxiety and depression, why GI symptoms are often misunderstood or dismissed, and what the research actually says about probiotics, leaky gut, and detoxification. They also discuss simple, evidence-based ways to improve gut health, dispelling social-media fueled myths along the way.  About our guest: Dr. Tricia Pasricha is a physician-scientist at Beth Israel Deaconess Medical Center, an assistant professor of medicine at Harvard Medical School, and columnist for the Washington Post. Her new book, You've Been Pooping All Wrong, explains the connection between your gut, your brain, and your mental health. Key Topics: 0:00 Intro: what's neurogastroenterology? 5:48: Believing your patient 9:31: The lifelong impact of childhood gut issues 18:27: The relationship between the gut and the brain 23:20: The tiktokification of gut health information 30:56: Probiotics – do they help? 34:15: The microbiome 43:34: Advice to people with gut issues 46:21: What about cleanses? 55:52: Recap Support the Podcast: We're on Patreon! ⁠If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link.⁠ Sponsors Go to ⁠Zocdoc.com/BEING⁠ to find and instantly book a top-rated doctor today. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Forrest is joined by author, meditator, and friend Diego Perez, also known as Yung Pueblo, for a conversation about right effort, the balance between pushing through and letting go, and the death of nuance in the age of social media.  They start with Diego’s experience on his recent 60-day silent meditation retreat, and what that kind of practice teaches about craving, attachment, and getting unstuck from old roles. Diego frames right effort as the middle path between forcing your life and going with the flow, and that tension leads into a conversation about social media, including the appeal of reductive advice and being told what to do. Diego closes with what he'd recommend for someone who wants some of the rewards of practice without committing to a long retreat. Key Topics:  0:00: Intro 2:02: Diego's 60-day silent retreat 8:17: Right Effort: balancing pursuit with letting go 15:49: Attachment, craving, and suffering 19:25: Diego's journey to the sensitive boy’s club 25:19: Resistance: a sign that something is wrong or that we should push harder? 31:07: How to stop outsourcing your decisions & find guidance within  42:41: The limitations of labels and therapy-speak 52:26: Practices for those who aren't serious meditators 55:39: Recap Support the Podcast: We're on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link. Sponsors Go to Zocdoc.com/BEING to find and instantly book a top-rated doctor today. Visit Rula.com/BEINGWELL to find affordable, high-quality therapy that’s actually covered by insurance. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Dr. Lindsay Gibson joins Forrest to explore how we can reparent ourselves, recover from emotionally immature parenting, and develop greater emotional maturity. They discuss what emotional maturity actually is, the "good enough" parent, the voices we internalize, and how adults can begin to give themselves the internal security and emotional attunement they missed in childhood. Other topics include why feeling misunderstood is so painful, the lifelong dance between connection and autonomy, and the hidden costs of authoritarian parenting.  About our guest: Dr. Lindsay Gibson is a clinical psychologist and bestselling author of a number of books, including Adult Children of Emotionally Immature Parents and her new book, How to Raise an Emotionally Mature Child. Key Topics: 0:00: Intro & what emotional maturity looks like 7:45: Why our culture undervalues emotional maturity  12:56: The “good enough” parent 20:05: What happens to children with emotionally immature parents 27:15: Repair in adulthood 36:22: The importance of feeling understood 43:40: Mirroring: why it’s important and how to get better at it 49:07: Balancing connection and autonomy 53:39: The appropriate level of parental authority 1:04:34: Parenting mistakes to avoid 1:15:29: Recap Support the Podcast: We're on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link. Sponsors Level up your bedding with Quince. Go to Quince.com/BEINGWELL for free shipping on your order and three hundred and sixty-five -day returns. Sign up for a one-dollar-per-month trial period at shopify.com/beingwell.  For a limited time, your gift will be matched, to help students and teachers who need our support. Go to DonorsChoose.org/BEINGWELL to find a classroom near you and have your gift matched today. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

Dr. Rick and Forrest explore how we can become securely attached to ourselves: building an internal foundation that lets us connect with others, regulate our emotions, and explore the world from that secure base. They talk about how this is supposed to develop in childhood, why it doesn't for many people, and what we can actually do about it as adults. Topics include the research on early attachment, why so many of us arrive at adulthood with a strong inner critic and weak inner support, and four practical paths forward: creating a coherent narrative about your past, reparenting yourself, rescaling your sense of self in relation to others, and building self-trust through healthy exploration.  Rick’s Attachment Course: Join Rick for a 5-week online course on using the research-backed HEAL method to heal insecure attachment and create new neural pathways for interacting and connecting securely. You can learn more at RickHanson.com/attachment and get 25% off with coupon code BeingWell25. Key Topics  0:00: Introduction 2:00: The research on becoming a “secure base” 8:17: How we internalize early sources of regulation and recognition 15:43: What happens when love is contingent 18:44: Forming a coherent narrative 29:14: Reparenting yourself 42:07: Rebuilding your sense of self 57:40: Using your secure base to explore, try, and fail 1:09:18: Recap Support the Podcast: We're on Patreon! If you'd like to support the podcast, follow this link. Sponsors Level up your bedding with Quince. Go to Quince.com/BEINGWELL for free shipping on your order and three hundred and sixty-five -day returns. Go to https://DonorsChoose.org/BEINGWELL to find a classroom near you and have your gift matched today. Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices