Kill By Kill: Talking Horror Characters One Death At A Time

Love in any other franchise does not meet a machete as often, and that’s why we’re celebrating our holiday of love: Friday the 13th!! That’s right, we’re counting down our picks for the Worst Couples in the FRIDAY THE 13th franchise, and not even Jason Voorhees gets a say!! And that dude will not shut up. We’re talking sex inventors, defensive boxes, raising rabbits, kneecap makeouts, Dirty Peanuts, sloppy childs, nippleless bots, the plot of Cruising, and the OG of “Have You Considered My Penis?” boyfriends!! All this, plus a multi-decade spanning edition of Choose Your Own Deathventure, and we’ve got the best Bad Romances in Crystal Lake history right now! 

Lookout y’all - it’s coming at ya!! That’s right, we’re continuing our revisit of FRIDAY THE 13th 3D and focusing on Fox (the hot chick), Ali (the guy with chains), and Loco (he’s… I don’t know, a white guy?). All this, plus casual racism from convenience store owners, consider how many punches we can take from an orangutan, meet the most important character in all of Part 3… the BARN OF DOOM, and ambush you with a penetrating edition of Choose Your Own Death-venture!! So strap on that useless leg flair and ride with us today!!

You wanted the best, you got… 2005’s remake of THE FOG. Oh boy, talk about a stinker! It’s ReMarch - and we had to give you an example of a rock-bottom for aughts remakes, so grab your self-heating hairbrushes cause this episode is on fire! We discuss why this movie would need two Crazy Ralph characters, wonder who dreamt up the Fog’s-eye-view, debate whether there’s a single defining motivation to anyone’s character, and give producer Debra Hill her well-deserved flowers!! All this, plus indoor/outdoor decorators, death by not letting go of a rope, MTV’s The Grind, shower sex body horror, super leprosy, wet footprints, and a defenestration-heavy edition of Choose Your Own Deathventure!! Whatever you do, don’t watch the movie and listen to us rant and rave about it today!!

We are adding a whole new dimension to our revisit of early Kill By Kill episodes, as we begin our eye-popping journey into FRIDAY THE 13th 3D! To get this engine chugging, we delve into the dangerous world of Crystal Lake convenience stores/model train museums, discuss why having a toilet in your stockroom may violate every health code, and debate whether Steve Miner makes a better movie director or a fake news anchor. All this, plus you’ll learn the secret recipe to a #MississippiPinwheel, get up close and personal with Harold and Edna, get a fever for the flavor of fish eggs, and get an earful of Choose Your Own Deathventure!! It’s a classic episode you’ll have to see - with your imagination - to believe!!

Give your body to the dance, but save your ears for an all-new episode of Kill By Kill! That’s right, we’re starting our new theme month a week early to discuss Luca Guadagnino’s masterful remake of SUSPERIA!! Along the way, we dig into why remakes have always been a part of the film business, how the 2018 film mines Dario Argento’s original for new and deeper avenues to explore, consider why a mid-70s German political reckoning forged the spine of this new version, and discuss why 20th Century Fox thought a lady skeleton was the best sales technique to get butts in seats in 1978!! All this, plus door jam humping, shadow stabbers, troll hookups, Giallo blindness, corpse hooks, and a head-exploding edition of Choose Your Own Deathventure!! Dance like obody but the Three Mothers are watching this week on Kill By Kill!!