All parties claim victory after this week's local elections, but the real winners were the local parties, who took more than one-third of the total vote. The losers were Rob Jetten and Carola Schouten, who recklessly promised to abseil down the Euromast tower if turnout went up. We bring you a run-down of the results and the main talking points, including a huge comeback win for Richard de Mos in The Hague and gains by the far-right Forum voor Democratie. Elsewhere, Jetten performs a dramatic U-turn in the heavily mined Strait of Hormuz to join an international coalition to protect shipping. Amsterdam remains Europe's party drug capital but loses its cocaine crown to Antwerp, according to an analysis of city sewage. And in sport, Dick Advocaat is back in business at Feyenoord and Jetta Leerdam's speed suit is not what it seems.