The Virtual Couch

Have you ever found yourself wondering, How can someone possibly believe that? Or maybe you've questioned your own beliefs after bumping up against someone else's certainty? You're not alo...

Tony, a licensed marriage and family therapist, author, speaker, and podcast host, welcomes viewers to an engaging TikTok Live session. Joined by his daughter Mackie, Tony answers questions on various topics including relationships, mental health, and narcissism. They discuss the concept of the shadow self, the 'Let Them' theory, handling emotional triggers, and the importance of differentiation in relationships. Tony offers advice on dealing with controlling siblings, building clientele as a therapist, managing ADHD and its effects, and overcoming trust issues in relationships. They also touch on practical self-care tips and the journey of personal growth, using real-life examples and interactive discussions with their audience.00:00 Welcome to TikTok Live00:10 Introducing the Hosts00:16 Engaging with Viewers02:12 Discussing the Shadow Self04:55 Exploring Family Dynamics05:51 Romantic Relationships and Vulnerability06:35 Understanding Emotional Reactions08:07 Differentiation and Parental Influence09:59 Setting Boundaries with Parents10:47 The 'Let Them' Theory15:20 Dealing with Emotional Regression17:29 Navigating Breakups and Grief20:43 Control and Mental Health22:16 Book Recommendations for Couples24:09 Making Small Changes for Big Impact29:56 Managing Depression and Anxiety31:43 Understanding and Accepting Anxiety32:28 Facing Fears and Building Connections33:43 Navigating Negative Environments38:22 Inner Critic and Self-Acceptance42:00 Challenges in Therapy and Relationships01:01:59 Dealing with ADHD and Rejection Sensitivity01:05:20 Conclusion and Final Thoughts

When Ashlee Boyson answered her door at age 28 to find detectives bearing unimaginable news—her husband murdered, an affair revealed—she became a widow with five children, including a six-week-old baby. In this powerful episode of the Virtual Couch, Tony Overbay, LMFT,  explores how this defining moment led Ashlee to become not just a survivor but a guide for others navigating grief's complex terrain. Her groundbreaking book "One Day: A Child's Journey Through Grief and Loss," illustrated by her daughter Bostyn, takes a revolutionary approach by deliberately omitting facial expressions and colors—creating space for authentic emotions rather than prescribing how one "should" feel when grieving.Beyond the book, Tony and Ashlee dive into the messy truth of grief—how contradictory emotions can coexist, why well-intentioned comfort often invalidates emotional reality, and practical strategies for creating genuine healing. With moments of unexpected laughter amidst profound wisdom, they explore how Ashlee's journey led her to develop courses on infidelity and widowhood, practice foot zoning, and, most importantly, help parents understand that there's no "right way" to grieve. Whether you're personally experiencing loss or supporting someone who is, this conversation offers a masterclass in compassionate presence and emotional intelligence that transcends age, making it essential listening for anyone seeking to process grief authentically.00:00 Introduction and Announcements01:35 Introducing Ashley Boyson02:10 Ashley's Incredible Story03:27 Ashley's Journey Through Grief03:54 Discussing Ashley's New Book12:04 The Healing Power of Foot Zoning17:40 The Importance of Emotional Awareness26:35 Addressing Children's Emotional Pain27:06 Recognizing and Validating Emotions27:45 Personal Experiences with Suppressed Emotions28:52 Navigating Grief and Loss30:33 Complex Emotions and Healing31:30 The Importance of Open Communication32:25 Balancing Past and Future Fears34:11 Encouraging Emotional Expression in Children35:51 Handling Grief Triggers43:45 The Role of Truth in Healing46:21 Final Thoughts and Resources

What happens when two first responders fall in love, face career, life, and faith crises, and embark on a radical journey of healing? How do couples navigate from survival mode to genuine connection after years of chaos and trauma?Tony welcomes Steph and Craig Salazar, the authentic couple behind the popular podcast "The Steph and Craig Show." What begins as a reunion of newfound friends quickly transforms into a profound exploration of relationship transformation, personal growth, and the messy beauty of healing together.Steph and Craig share their remarkable journey from meeting as a police officer and dispatcher to becoming relationship content creators who are changing lives through radical vulnerability. They don't hold back as they discuss the chaos of their early relationship—blending families, career crises, mental health struggles, and the imbalanced dynamics that nearly tore them apart.Listen as they reveal the pivotal moments that shifted their path: Craig's life-changing men's retreat that Steph secretly feared might end their relationship, Steph's breaking point in her dispatch career and her courageous pivot to follow her dreams, and how they both found healing through therapy, spiritual practices, and even psychedelic-assisted healing experiences.This conversation isn't about relationship experts who have it all figured out. It's about two people who've "taken the scenic route" through life's challenges, hitting every obstacle along the way, and discovering that true connection happens when we heal individually first.Whether you're facing relationship challenges, navigating career transitions, or doing your own healing work, this episode offers profound insights wrapped in genuine, heartfelt conversation. Steph and Craig's mission to create a mirror where others might see themselves and feel less alone in their struggles shines through every moment of this unforgettable discussion.Join Tony, Steph, and Craig for a conversation that proves we're all healing together—one vulnerable step at a time. The Steph and Craig Show is available at https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/the-steph-craig-show/id1742462702 or wherever you listen to podcasts, as well as on YouTube. You can find the episode that Tony references on their show at https://youtu.be/n_LiTO_nt5w?si=GAmnZF3rFdh7QPFH (https://youtu.be/n_LiTO_nt5w?si=GAmnZF3rFdh7QPFH) 00:00 Introduction and Welcome01:07 Special Guests: Steph and Craig01:49 The Transformative Podcast Episode02:22 Authenticity and Vulnerability03:35 The Journey of Steph and Craig04:03 Career Transitions and Challenges04:39 The Scenic Route to Healing

Every couple starts their marriage journey with hearts full of hope and eyes bright with optimism. But what happens when the fairy tale meets reality? In this compelling episode of the Virtual Couch, marriage therapist Tony Overbay takes listeners on an intimate journey through the evolution of marriage, sparked by his observation of a young newlywed couple, Hannah and Cody, during a recent podcast interview.Drawing from over 20 years of experience as a marriage therapist, Tony bridges the gap between those magical early days and the complex reality that many couples face years into their marriage. He addresses the common refrain of "just wait until..." that many newlyweds hear, while offering hope and practical tools for couples at all stages of their relationship.Key insights include:- The power of intentional curiosity in long-term relationships- Why emotional maturity matters more than initial chemistry- The critical balance between self-care and partner care- How to maintain individual growth while nurturing your relationship- The four pillars of connected conversation that can transform your communicationTony shares vulnerable moments from his own 34-year marriage journey, demonstrating how the principles he teaches aren't just theoretical—they're battle-tested. He tackles the delicate balance between maintaining individual identity and building a strong partnership, offering practical insights for both newlyweds and seasoned couples.Whether you're basking in newlywed bliss like Hannah and Cody or navigating the complexities of a decades-long partnership, this episode provides a roadmap for understanding how to evolve together while maintaining the spark that brought you together in the first place. Tony's unique perspective helps couples understand that while change is inevitable in marriage, it doesn't have to mean growing apart—it can mean growing together in new and deeper ways.This episode is essential listening for:- Newlywed couples wanting to build a strong foundation- Long-term couples seeking to reconnect or deepen their bond- Anyone curious about the real journey from romantic love to lasting partnership- Couples wanting practical tools for better communication and understandingJoin Tony as he unpacks these insights and more, offering both hope and practical strategies for couples at any stage of their marriage journey.Follow the Q&A Files Podcast on Spotify (https://open.spotify.com/show/1k2Oh4rY9VCp1tVeu14dxk?si=a39537613900475b)