NO ONE IS HAPPY AND IT'S WHAT WE DESERVE<br /><br />- ETERNAL STEPFORD WIVES TOM BRADY AND BILL BELICHICK <br />- THE GREATEST STORY EVER TOLD<br />- IS IT TIME TO PANIC FOR TEXAS TECH BASKETBALL?<br />- THE RETCONNING OF EVERYONE'S ACTUAL OPINIONS ON THE XFL<br />- GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN TAKES (THIS PART IS FOR SMART PEOPLE ONLY)