Greatest Trek: New Star Trek Reviewed

When Mariner gets sent to Qo’noS to secretly scan season 5’s serialized plotline, she looks up Ma’ah and offers to help him regain his station. But while Boimler uses the letter of the law against the Klingon oversight council, Tendi and Rutherford expose the fraudulent Cloacan tasters aboard the Cerritos to save Dr. Migleemo’s career. Which song has the potential to cause a Peloton injury? How far along is Boimler on Adam’s facial-hair scale? Who should you not take advice about electric fences from? It’s the episode that proves Star Trek’s barrel of blood wine is not dry.

When the Cerritos arrives at a cruise ship in space, the team get assigned pest-control duty while Boimler gets yoinked for a side quest with Ransom. But after Mariner left an uncharacteristic loose thread with Jennifer, her tagging along for one final mission leads to finally having the talk. What’s the main thing you need to be able to do in a casino? Why does the AWOL Admiral resent milking space whales? How long before Boimler runs afoul of Starfleet’s facial-hair policy? It’s the episode that establishes “no bits on ‘ships” as a new rule.

When the Orions fail to diversify their booty-based economy, Tendi and D’Erika end up in the middle of conflict that really rocks the boat. But when the Orion Pirate Queen proposes a winner-takes-all regatta, Tendi is willing to risk her family’s fortune to play mother to her sister. If not clip show why clip show titled? What type of ghost would Adam be? Are buffalo blasts now canonical Trek? It’s the episode that isn’t very good with roman numerals.

When the Cerritos gets sent to fill in a space butthole, the ship gets dunked instead and finds a slightly different versions of reality inside. But while Tendi is trying to leave leave pirate culture better than she found it, Rutherford from anotherford Motherford demonstrates how not to handle missing a friend. Which vocal warm-up does Terry Gross use? What does tragedy plus time plus Rishon Uxbridge equal? How long until Greatest Gen covers TAS? It’s the episode that STILL doesn’t sign anything on the porch!

When a special guest gets to pick this week’s movie, it’s a perfect 80s time capsule with a sad situation on the penumbra of an adventure. But after the Goonies spend a week at the waterpark with Steven Spielberg, a completely different protagonist actually saves the day. What did the 80s contribute to the Commedia dell'arte? Do all Amblin films take place in the same universe? Why doesn’t Astoria have a social safety net? It’s the episode that imagines both its prequel and its sequel.