The Queer Family Podcast – LGBTQ Families & Queer Parenting Stories

Anish & Miguel are two dads in Berlin who recently welcomed their son, Alexander, through agency-based surrogacy. And listen — some of us (cough… Jaimie… cough) approached queer family building with good vibes and very few spreadsheets. But THESE TWO? Absolute meticulous gay dad excellence. From cross-country agency visits, to karyotype testing, to annual goal-setting (“become parents” was literally on the list!), Anish and Miguel walk us through the entire surrogacy process with clarity, honesty, and so much heart. This episode is truly a surrogacy masterclass — a must-listen for anyone exploring this path.

🏳️‍🌈 Key Takeaways

• Surrogacy through an agency is all about trust — more than glossy brochures or fancy clinics.
• Anish & Miguel treated the process like a project: research, goal-setting, and risk assessment at every step.
• They visited multiple countries and agencies before landing on Be Parent Surrogacy in Cyprus.
• Genetic testing (karyotype screening) helped them make informed choices about their egg donor and embryos.
• Their egg donor was selected to reflect both of them, and fresh-egg IVF increased their chances of success.
• Long stretches of waiting in silence between milestones were some of the hardest emotional parts.
• Neither dad felt an instant, magical bond at birth — and they talk honestly about how connection can grow over time.
• German law still requires second-parent adoption for the non-legal parent, even after surrogacy abroad.
• Despite the legal hoops, they received full parental leave and government benefits — a big win for equality.

🏳️‍🌈 About the Guest(s)🏳️‍🌈

• Anish & Miguel are new dads living in Berlin with their four-month-old son, Alexander. After years of thoughtful planning, cross-country research, and honest conversations about what family means to them, they pursued agency-based surrogacy through Be Parent. Their story is full of intention, vulnerability, and practical guidance for queer families exploring the surrogacy path.

🏳️‍🌈 Thanks to our sponsors!

Sam & Laura Abbey are BACK, y’all. The last time they were on the show it was still called If These Ovaries Could Talk, they only had one kid, and their Bravo reality show moment had just helped catapult them into queer family-building visibility.

Seven years and two very boy-ish boys later, we’re catching up on IVF paid out of pocket (twice), using the same sperm donor for both kids, what happens when you over- or under-buy sperm, and yes—having to literally sign paperwork to “dispose” of a leftover vial while a straight guy wrestles with the “morality” of it.

We get into raising sensitive, muddy, train-obsessed boys in a queer household that doesn’t subscribe to gender norms, ongoing origin-story conversations with their donor-conceived kids, giving boys permission to cry, and helping them navigate comments about pride flags and two-mom families. Plus, Laura shares her new project, Unseen, a queer millennial life podcast from Pink Robin Shop about art, culture, motherhood, and growing up queer with basically zero representation.

If you’re navigating donor conception, raising boys in a queer family, or figuring out how to talk to your kids about their origin stories without making it a big talk, this one’s for you.

🏳️‍🌈 Key Takeaways

• The “talk” is never one talk.
• Donor-conception conversations evolve with age — kids should always know their story.
• Buy more sperm than you think you’ll need.
• Limited vials + failed IUIs/IVF = strategic (and emotional) math.
• Kids come out who they are.
• Two queer moms, zero gender norms… and still: trains, mud, dinosaurs, chaos.
• Boys deserve big feelings.
• Crying, naming emotions, and sensitivity are celebrated — not shut down.
• Two-mom families require extra “coming out.”
• Pride flags and visibility can put kids in situations they didn’t choose; support matters.
• Community changes everything.
• Growing up with other two-mom families normalizes their world and builds resilience.

🏳️‍🌈 About the Guest(s)🏳️‍🌈

• Sam & Laura Abbey are a married lesbian couple and moms to two energetic. They first stepped into the spotlight on a Bravo reality show back in 2013–2014, where their wedding and early fertility journey were documented at a time when just being a same-sex couple was considered “enough of a storyline. They’ve been openly sharing the ups, downs, and hilarious chaos of boy-mom, two-mom life ever since over on Instagram at @theabbeyfam.
• Laura is also a writer and educator who now teaches college writing and co-hosts Unseen: Queer Millennial Life Unfiltered, a podcast from Pink Robin Shop that explores art, culture, parenthood, and growing up queer in a world that didn’t exactly roll out the rainbow carpet.

🏳️‍🌈 Thanks to our sponsors!

Midwife, parent, nurse, educator, and proud Palestinian Ash joins Jaimie for a powerful, expansive conversation that connects queer birth work, liberation, bodily autonomy, and the politics of modern healthcare. From becoming a parent before coming into their trans identity, to the crisis inside U.S. obstetrics, to creating community-centered birth education for queer & trans families, Ash brings depth, clarity, and truth. The episode also touches on Ash’s ties to Palestine, why so many people are re-examining the narrative they were taught, and how to learn, help, and show up with intention.

🏳️‍🌈 Key Takeaways

• Birth is not inherently dangerous — but our systems are flawed.
• Rising U.S. gestational mortality rates are tied to financial incentives, outdated policies, and cultural fear.
• Where you feel safest is where you birth best.
• Stress pathways interrupt labor; safety & comfort matter more than location.
• Queer & trans people need trauma-informed preparation.
• Education + community before labor creates resilience when navigating misgendering or assumptions in hospitals.
• Intentional parenting is a queer superpower.
• Living outside the norms forces us to question, rebuild, and parent with intention.
• Liberation is interconnected.
• Ash links birth work to Palestinian liberation, colonial separation, and reclaiming humanity.
• Learning about Palestine doesn’t have to be overwhelming.
• Start with Palestinian voices. Complexity is often used to keep people disengaged.

🏳️‍🌈 About the Guest(s)🏳️‍🌈

• Ash (they/them) is a Trans Palestinian educator, speaker & midwife whose work centers birth justice and community care. They teach accessible, queer- and trans-inclusive childbirth classes through Embodied Birth Class and speak widely about physiologic birth, medical racism, and creating safer, more liberated birth experiences for all families.

🏳️‍🌈 Thanks to our sponsors!

Jaimie chats with Yanica & Leah, the interracial two-mom family behind @thefaustinfam, about building a queer family with intention. They discuss their donor conception journey, navigating race and colorism, raising multiracial donor-conceived kids, second-parent adoption, coming out stories, and parenting free spirited little humans in the South.

If you love stories about LGBTQ family building, intentional parenting, mixed-race families, and queer joy — this episode is everything.

🏳️‍🌈 Key Takeaways

• Queer parents—especially interracial two-mom families—have to parent with deep intention.
• Yanica & Leah went from “straight best friends” to realizing they couldn’t live without each other.
• Coming out required navigating religion, culture, and family expectations, but they stayed united.
• Choosing a sperm donor as an interracial couple meant balancing race, ancestry, identity, and openness.
• They selected a willing-to-be-known donor to give their kids future choice and connection.
• Both moms carried, and they used the same donor so all three kids share a biological link.
• Colorism shows up in real time for their kids, and they openly discuss race and privilege at home.
• Legal protection matters: they completed second-parent adoption and carry documents everywhere.

🏳️‍🌈 About the Guest(s)🏳️‍🌈

• Yanica and Leah Faustin are the interracial two-mom power couple and creators behind @thefaustinfam, a warm, funny, and deeply honest look at queer family life. Based in Durham, North Carolina, they’re raising three donor-conceived kids while sharing their day-to-day joys, challenges, and intentional parenting choices with a rapidly growing online community. Together, Yanica (a professor) and Leah (a physical therapist) use humor, vulnerability, and radical transparency to normalize queer families and celebrate the diversity of what modern family building looks like. Their mission is simple: show up as their full selves so their kids—and all of ours—see their families reflected in the world.

🏳️‍🌈 Thanks to our sponsors!

Author and educator Kirsty Loehr joins Jaimie to share her beautifully messy story of queer family building — from reciprocal IVF with her ex-wife to co-parenting their 4-year-old son and now navigating life in a blended family with her new partner and her partner’s two kids.

Kirsty talks candidly about the breakup that came just months after welcoming her son, the challenges of 50/50 custody, and learning to blend families while balancing love, chaos, and new beginnings. She also shares the inspiration behind her new book, A Short History of Queer Parenting, a funny, accessible, and essential look at how queer families have always existed — even when history tried to erase us.

It’s honest, hopeful, and very, very lesbian.

🏳️‍🌈 Key Takeaways

• Reciprocal IVF and Family Dynamics: Kirsty shares her experiences with reciprocal IVF, offering insights into queer parenting and the unique challenges and triumphs they bring.
• Single and Blended Parenting: Insights into the evolution from single to blended parenting, discussing both the struggles and profound bonds formed.
• Legal Aspects of Queer Parenting: Legal navigation within queer parenting, particularly regarding reciprocal IVF and parental rights.
• The Evolution of Queer Parenting: Kirsty's new book highlights the historical journey of LGBTQ+ parenting, from legality issues to personal anecdotes, providing a comprehensive view of queer family growth.
• Strength in Community: The importance of shared experiences and community support in navigating the complexities of queer family life.

🏳️‍🌈 About the Guest(s)🏳️‍🌈