In this deeply important and heartfelt episode, hospice and oncology nurse, death doula educator, and founder of the Doulagivers Institute https://doulagivers.com, Suzanne B. O’Brien RN, shares the truth about why so many end-of-life experiences today are filled with fear, overwhelm, and unnecessary suffering.
After supporting over a thousand people at the end of life, Suzanne explains that the problem is not a lack of love — it is a lack of education, understanding, and support.
The good news? A peaceful and meaningful end of life is absolutely possible.
In this episode, Suzanne breaks down the top three reasons end of life is not going well for most families today — and what we can do to change it.
In This Episode, Suzanne Discusses:
1. Families No Longer Have the Skills to Care for Loved Ones at End of Life

How end-of-life care was once passed down from grandmother to grandchild
Why these sacred caregiving skills have been lost over the last 100 years
The emotional toll on families who are suddenly expected to become caregivers overnight
Why this is not a failure of families — but a failure of education

2. Most People Do Not Understand What Hospice Does (or Does Not Do)

The truth about the hospice model today
Why hospice should be understood as a “consultant model” rather than continuous care
The reality that family caregivers provide approximately 98% of the hands-on end-of-life care, even with hospice services involved
Why the median hospice stay of only 16–18 days creates crisis care instead of supportive care
Suzanne’s firsthand experience as a hospice nurse trying to teach families how to care for loved ones in an impossible timeframe

3. Fear of Death Is Driving Suffering

How fear delays important conversations and planning
Why people often come onto hospice services far too late
The impact of denial and avoidance around death in modern culture
How fear prevents families from learning the skills they need
Why death is not just a medical experience — it is a deeply human one

The Hope: Education Changes Everything
Suzanne shares how compassionate education, preparation, and support can transform the end-of-life experience for both the dying person and their loved ones.
For the past 16 years, the Doulagivers Institute https://doulagivers.com has been offering free family caregiver education to help empower people with the skills, understanding, and confidence needed to care for loved ones at the end of life.
The free Level 1 Family Caregiver Training is now available in 15 languages and includes:

The Doulagivers 3 Phases of End of Life Framework
A live interactive teaching experience
A downloadable workbook
Guidance on how to physically, emotionally, and spiritually support someone at end of life
Practical caregiver education families can use immediately

Save Your Spot for the FREE Live Training
This training is offered live and interactively — there are no replays.
Suzanne invites everyone to take this training before they need it, because one day, someone we love will need us.
“A peaceful end of life should not be a privilege. It is a human right.”
Learn more and register here: https://www.doulagivers.com/monthly-free-class-register
 
Memorable Quotes from This Episode
“Most end-of-life experiences are not going well today — not because families don’t care, but because they were never taught how to care.”
“Hospice is incredibly valuable, but most people misunderstand what hospice actually is.”
“Families are doing approximately 98% of the hands-on end-of-life care, even with hospice services involved.”
“Death is not a medical experience. It is a human one.”
“When we teach people how to care for one another at the end of life, we don’t just change death — we change humanity.”
Connect with Suzanne B. O’Brien RN
 
Take the Free LIVE Death Doula Training: https://www.doulagivers.com/monthly-free-class-register
Website: https://doulagivers.com/
Get The Book: The Good Death Here
Follow & Share
If this e

Ask a Death Doula

Suzanne B. O’Brien RN

Why Most End of Life Experiences Are NOT Going Well Today — The Top 3 Reasons Why

MAY 19, 202624 MIN
Ask a Death Doula

Why Most End of Life Experiences Are NOT Going Well Today — The Top 3 Reasons Why

MAY 19, 202624 MIN

Description

In this deeply important and heartfelt episode, hospice and oncology nurse, death doula educator, and founder of the Doulagivers Institute https://doulagivers.com, Suzanne B. O’Brien RN, shares the truth about why so many end-of-life experiences today are filled with fear, overwhelm, and unnecessary suffering. After supporting over a thousand people at the end of life, Suzanne explains that the problem is not a lack of love — it is a lack of education, understanding, and support. The good news? A peaceful and meaningful end of life is absolutely possible. In this episode, Suzanne breaks down the top three reasons end of life is not going well for most families today — and what we can do to change it. In This Episode, Suzanne Discusses: 1. Families No Longer Have the Skills to Care for Loved Ones at End of Life How end-of-life care was once passed down from grandmother to grandchild Why these sacred caregiving skills have been lost over the last 100 years The emotional toll on families who are suddenly expected to become caregivers overnight Why this is not a failure of families — but a failure of education 2. Most People Do Not Understand What Hospice Does (or Does Not Do) The truth about the hospice model today Why hospice should be understood as a “consultant model” rather than continuous care The reality that family caregivers provide approximately 98% of the hands-on end-of-life care, even with hospice services involved Why the median hospice stay of only 16–18 days creates crisis care instead of supportive care Suzanne’s firsthand experience as a hospice nurse trying to teach families how to care for loved ones in an impossible timeframe 3. Fear of Death Is Driving Suffering How fear delays important conversations and planning Why people often come onto hospice services far too late The impact of denial and avoidance around death in modern culture How fear prevents families from learning the skills they need Why death is not just a medical experience — it is a deeply human one The Hope: Education Changes Everything Suzanne shares how compassionate education, preparation, and support can transform the end-of-life experience for both the dying person and their loved ones. For the past 16 years, the Doulagivers Institute https://doulagivers.com has been offering free family caregiver education to help empower people with the skills, understanding, and confidence needed to care for loved ones at the end of life. The free Level 1 Family Caregiver Training is now available in 15 languages and includes: The Doulagivers 3 Phases of End of Life Framework A live interactive teaching experience A downloadable workbook Guidance on how to physically, emotionally, and spiritually support someone at end of life Practical caregiver education families can use immediately Save Your Spot for the FREE Live Training This training is offered live and interactively — there are no replays. Suzanne invites everyone to take this training before they need it, because one day, someone we love will need us. “A peaceful end of life should not be a privilege. It is a human right.” Learn more and register here: https://www.doulagivers.com/monthly-free-class-register   Memorable Quotes from This Episode “Most end-of-life experiences are not going well today — not because families don’t care, but because they were never taught how to care.” “Hospice is incredibly valuable, but most people misunderstand what hospice actually is.” “Families are doing approximately 98% of the hands-on end-of-life care, even with hospice services involved.” “Death is not a medical experience. It is a human one.” “When we teach people how to care for one another at the end of life, we don’t just change death — we change humanity.” Connect with Suzanne B. O’Brien RN   Take the Free LIVE Death Doula Training: https://www.doulagivers.com/monthly-free-class-register Website: https://doulagivers.com/ Get The Book: The Good Death Here Follow & Share If this episode touched your heart, please share it with caregivers, healthcare professionals, and loved ones who may benefit from this important conversation. Together, we can help bring compassion, education, and dignity back to end-of-life care.