Everything Happens with Kate Bowler

There are some realities we can never get over. And yet, we keep living. How do we do that well? Wilma Derksen writes and speaks on the topics of victimization and criminal justice. Her wisdom is hardwon. In the mid-80s, Wilma’s daughter, Candace, was murdered. Their family’s response to this tragedy has inspired so many people…and you’ll soon see why.

In this conversation, Kate and Wilma discuss: 

1. How we live with the things we cannot change

2. What does forgiveness look like in practice

3. How to start forgiving yourself

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How do we stay hopeful in the face of despair and disillusionment—especially when politics threaten to tear us in two? Kate speaks with Parker Palmer, a writer, teacher, and activist. As you’ll hear, he has gone through seasons of deep clinical depression, and has hard-won wisdom to share with us on how to survive, how to regain a sense of agency, how to remain hopeful despite it all. 

In this episode, Kate and Parker discuss:

1. finding agency in the midst of depression and despair (including his trick of redefining achievement)

2. why it is important to recalibrate our sense of reality—especially in the face of 24-hour news cycles and social media algorithms

3. how a broken heart can either shatter or break open into a larger, more compassionate way of being

So on a day like today when we all might be thinking about the state of our nation or the state of our world or the realities at stake for our families and friends (....or perhaps, more tempted to keep our head in the sand to just make it through Thanksgiving), might we pull up close and listen to what Parker has to teach us about how to keep our hearts soft and remain hopeful, still. 

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We need more room to be honest about what it costs when people or institutions fail us. Today's conversation is with Lord Charles Spencer, the 9th Earl Spencer. You might also know him as Princess Diana's brother. His latest book, A Very Private School, is a courageous and beautifully written memoir about his time in an abusive English boarding school that was shrouded in secrets, abuse, and cruelty. While his circumstances may be unlike something you’ve experienced, Charles speaks so candidly and tenderly about his painful childhood and what it has cost him and others too.

In this conversation, Kate and Charles discuss:

• the challenge and catharsis of writing about personal trauma

• the casual cruelty Charles and his peers endured

• what happens when our innocence is stolen from us at a young age

• what healing looks like 50 years later

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In every deep relationship, there comes a point where we are asked to give up something of ourselves or change in ways we never anticipated. Who will this make me? What will this love cost? Tembi Locke fell in love with an Italian chef named Saro when she was studying abroad in Italy during college. Their romance was a story for the big screen. (Quite literally. One starring Zoe Saldana.)

A rare illness upended it all. Tembi spent ten years as Saro’s caregiver before he died. In her grief, Tembi took their young daughter back to Sicily to see what of her husband she could find there—in his culture, in his food, and with his family.

In this conversation, Kate and Tembi discuss: 

• becoming the architect of your life 

• the effects of long-term caregiving (both the beauty and the cost)

• who grief makes us

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