The Captain's Log

Kyle and Melissa are here for a chill end-of-year celebration, looking back on our year in podcasting and looking ahead to our 2025 goals. We give out our Review Show awards, play a game of "What the Hell Were We Talking About?", run through our recent cinema experiences, talk about fancy cocktails and fancy mansions, and finally share our thoughts on the weird twist in the otherwise conventional neo-noir show Sugar.

Episode 287. We're back for a feature-length discussion on movies! We go over our predictions for the Rotten Tomatoes critics' score for the past year's movies, and create predictions for the year ahead. What movie got an even 50? What's the lowest score we've ever seen? Do we think Mission: Impossible -- The Final Reckoning could match or beat the score for Dead Reckoning? Which will score better, Superman or Fantastic Four: First Steps? How many people will die in The Monkey? How many Mickeys will Mickey 17 ultimately show us? Also: an underwhelming reveal to a secret Mtn Dew flavor, a haunted office, and more Torrington lore.

Episode 285. We have a lot of existing movies to talk about, like Conclave, Anora, Heretic, and Piece by Piece, and we have an exciting pitch for a new Inspector Gadget movie that's a Substance-esque body horror but also one of his hands is a different vape on each finger. Hear us, Hollywood!!! Melissa reveals the most mysterious song on the internet. Kyle looks at all those chickens (it's just one chicken). We discuss the trailers for Brave New World and Thunderbolts*, where we want to see new Star Wars characters and where we want to see old ones, what it means when a movie is delayed from January to April, the stigma that reshoots have on a movie's reputation, Godzilla in different time periods, and the enduring legacy of Over the Garden Wall.

Episode 284. Your ghost hosts Slimer and Mimer are here for another Halloween special re-telling old Captain's Log anecdotes as "scary" "stories." Enjoy your szechuan McFlurry as you hear tales of the last two Kyles in the world, a life wrapped in foil, being kicked by the NFL robot, the fate of The Boobie Bouncer, your life being mysteriously tied to a movie marketing stunt, German Monday, the scariest 90s cartoon character to encounter in a liminal void, and old internet meme becoming a dangerous reality.

Episode 283. Kyle gets attacked by a falcon. Melissa dares to ask if vests are just adult bibs, and if you can make a paper football out of a Fruit Rollup. She eats an entire bowl of Kelce Mix cereal while Kyle recaps his old roommate's wedding in great detail. We read through our Movie Fantasy League drafts, marvel at Maymont Park, praise Liquid IV, ask if Saturday Night needed more chaos, and applaud SIXTY-YEAR-OLD MAN Keanu Reeves for becoming a race car driver.