We Love to Hate Everything

This final episode of the season was more explosive than Crabcake-Gate. Despite Amber's use of pastels in her wardrobe, Prison Amber emerges to beat Brandi's "crooked nose wannabe Farrah Abraham anorexic bitch ass" just in time for Graduation Day. It's about progress and baby steps, okay? Speaking of steps, Tonya needs to be careful climbing them because she has her clothes on backwards. Seriously. Don't be sad as we say goodbye, though, it's just "see you next court date".

See you all tomorrow!!!

Guys, Matt is in danger. Only the presence of 2 security guards and a PT Cruiser can protect him from Amber. Have no fear, though; this was all in the doctors' plan! They really wanted to focus on Amber and Tonya the whole time anyway. What, with all the time and attention given to Tonya, making sure she's "doing the work". It's strange that something seems to be...odd...with Tonya's behavior, however. It's time to get to the bottom of it before her scripts show up on Tuesday!

It's Day 8, which means it's SELF DESTRUCTION DAY! We all know how important self destruction is when trying to better oneself and improve family relationships, right? It makes perfect sense. Matt & Amber come to blows over an actual flaming garbage fire, and Jim adds a few more REM cycles to his repertoire. Just wait until you see what happens next week...SLICE!

The Bootcampers have been in the house for 7 days. Yes, only 7 DAYS. For no reason whatsoever, we're told it's Christmastime so everyone must share their deepest, darkest, most traumatic childhood memory. Because childhood pain is meant to be left in the past, a group of children are invited to reenact all the abuse allegations that were shared. Heartwarming & healing, right?!