Marriage and Martinis

One week after throwing their third child a "DIY" Bar Mitzvah, Adam and Danielle reflect on the process leading up to the event, and the service/party themselves. Some questions/topics include:

• What's involved with becoming a Bar/Bat Mitzvah, anyway?
• What untraditional practices did they decide to include, and which traditions did they not follow?
• How do they feel their family's connection to their religion might change moving forward?
• How much does a Bar/Bat Mitzvah actually usually cost?
• What were each of their favorite parts of the event?
• What parts were the most stressful/overwhelming?
• What advice would they give other parents planning any type of big celebration for their chil(ren)?
• If they had to do it again, what would they do differently?

In Danielle and Adam's yearly birthday episode, the two reflect on things from the past year, including accomplishments, funniest moments, what was lacking, and what they want to do more of in the coming year. Adam talks about what happened last night that reminds him he's been missing an important component of life and about which he wants to step up and make more of a priority. Danielle discusses the heaviness of the past year, and why it's been so hard to just find enjoyment in the everyday. Plus, what "finds" did they each discover that helped them get through, even if just a little bit.

In what was supposed to be a "tamer" follow-up to their first election episode, Danielle and Adam just can't seem to get on the same page concerning influential commentators, and the impact they think listening has on opinions and mindset. Adam feels like he can listen without being truly "affected" by what they say, while Danielle is frustrated that Adam doesn't understand that some voices are more intrusive and influential than we think.

Some things they discuss:

• What personality does Adam reveal he listens to (besides Rogan) that shocks Danielle and makes her question Adam's motivation for supporting certain public figures?
• Why does Adam feel that Danielle needed to "get over" the election so soon after it was over?
• Why do so many women say it's such a turnoff for their husbands to listen to Joe Rogan"
• Why does Danielle feel that Rogan is so much more of a negative figure for Adam than he realizes?
• What public figure does Adam dislike that Danielle listens to?

Buckle up. This episode is WAY bumpier and more intense than originally planned. However, it's also a conversation that will most likely be relatable to many couples.

Five days after the election, a tension has been brewing: in households, in friendships, and in society. While Danielle and Adam voted the same way, that doesn't at all mean they share the same experiences concerning politics and advocacy. Even though they've been together for 25 years, there have been a lot of times in which they felt differently concerning what type of role and voice they should each have in the world of social issues, engaging in social media, and even concerning their parenting. Danielle comes from a very political family. Adam does not. How have they navigated this terrain? They get into the deep reflection, and some extremely tense discourse, highlighting the differences they both face, and answering each others questions concerning:

• Why has Danielle gotten so much more political in the past ten years?
• Why does Danielle feel so much more strongly about politics and social issues than Adam?
• What role does the election play in The Mental Load?
• How do they navigate relationships with people in their life whom they know voted for the opposite party?
• What issues are most important to each of them?
• What frustrations do they each feel how each of them react to and engage in politics?
• How do they plan on navigating the holidays amidst such a contentious time?

Make sure to tune in for part two next week, when they discuss what public figures and influences have negatively impacted the way they relate to one another concerning issues?

What's the big deal about listening to Joe Rogan?

What does Adam think about "feminism" and the role it plays in Danielle and Mia's lives?

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It has taken over 22 years for Adam and Danielle to be able to have a conversation about the topic of finance without it ending in a fit of rage, resentment, and frustration. For the first time, they can each admit to their mistakes, and the ways they individually and cohesively have contributed to the mistakes they've made, and their negligence concerning preparing for the future. Yes, this is definitely a testament to the progress they've made and the incredible work they've done, but it doesn't change the fact that they'll be feeling the impacts of their poor decisions for years to come. This is a topic that is so seldom discussed by couples in a way that's so public and especially, so honest, that they weren't sure if they should edit some of it out. However, they decided not to touch it. Hopefully, their vulnerability will inspire other couples to have similar conversations, and even learn from Adam and Danielle's mistakes. More specifically, some of the issues they discuss surrounding money and finances in this episode are:

• How differently they grew up regarding money and spending.
• How being a stay-at-home-mom impacted Danielle's ideas about financial decision making within their family.
• The frustration of being the person in charge of buying the daily necessities for the household vs. the frustrations of being the one in charge of paying the bigger bills.
• How "keeping up with the joneses" has impacted them, especially regarding raising kids.
• How honest should we be with our kids about our financial situation?
• What has caused this shift in Danielle's mentality concerning budgeting, and being an active participant in solving their financial issues?
• How our past experiences, as well as expectations about spending/money affects our overall mindset about what we need/want/deserve regardless of whether or not we can afford it.

Stay tuned for part two of this topic, in which we delve even further into these issues and so much more!

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