DadAwesome

SUMMARY Most men aren't isolated because no one's around — they're isolated because they've never learned to be asked the right questions. In this episode, Pastor Wayne Francis returns to DadAwesome to unpack his new book, Make Friends with Anyone, sharing his sunbathers-to-submariners framework and the "six-pack" of vital friendships every man needs. It's an honest, funny, and convicting conversation about calendars, clarity, and why your kids are watching how you do friendship long before they ever try it themselves. Takeaways Isolation often masquerades as independence — men blame "not having anybody" instead of recognizing they've chosen to be self-reliant. Friendships exist on levels — sunbathers, surfers, snorkelers, scuba divers, and submariners — and problems happen when we give submarine-level access to sunbather-level friends. Your calendar (and photo album) is the truest record of what you actually value — not what you say you value. Every man needs a "six-pack": six vital, diverse friends who get priority access to his time and get told they're in that circle. Cleaning out and grieving friendships that have run their season is healthy, not disloyal — friends aren't disposable, but their role in your life should be reassessed. GUEST Wayne Francis and his wife, Claudene (whom he affectionately calls "Classy"), are the lead pastors of The Life Church – New York in Westchester County, a suburb of NYC. Wayne previously founded and led Authentic Church, which merged with The Life Church in early 2020. A dynamic communicator, he's passionate about building the local church and helping people find real life in Jesus. Wayne and Claudene have been married for 25 years and have two teenage daughters, Haleigh and Ryleigh. When he's not preaching, Wayne can usually be found out cycling or turning any available floor into a dance floor. Quotes (Wayne Francis) "I think that Jesus elevated a theology of friendship that we overlook." "In order for people to become vulnerable, it's not like I can just tell you something — I actually need to be asked. Question asking is an art." "Your calendar is the best preacher of your life." "You can't have the best of God without having the best and the worst of each other." "For men, you should have a six-pack — six vital friends that you would drop everything for." LINKS Leave a VOICEMAIL: https://www.speakpipe.com/DadAwesome Join Team Awesomeness (monthly support team) at any level from $7/month to $1000/month... We have 41 families committed to fueling the ministry DadAwesome as we head toward celebrating 9 years of AWESOMENESS this coming winter: https://www.dadawesome.org/give Join the DadAwesome Prayer Team: Text "pray" to (651) 370-8618 Apply to join the next DadAwesome Accelerator Cohort Subscribe to DadAwesome Messages: Text the word "Dad" to (651) 370-8618 7-Day Video Series: dadawesome.org/book Free Chapter + Intro Video Series: dadawesome.org/book Subscribe to DadAwesome Messages: Text "Dad" to (651) 370-8618 The DADAWESOME book Make Friends with Anyone by Wayne Francis ShowMeMyFriends.com (free friendship assessment) Primal Question by Mike Foster

This is a FROM THE VAULT episode, originally recorded almost three years ago, but the message hits just as hard today. In this conversation, Banning Liebscher opens up about the wrong definition of success that keeps dads stuck on autopilot, and why the goal was never to work harder but to abide more. If you've ever felt busy but not sure you're actually hitting the mark as a father, this replay is for you. TAKEAWAYS The danger for dads isn't a lack of activity, it's activity that isn't going anywhere because success was never clearly defined. Becoming world class at fatherhood starts with being both self aware and others aware, so you understand how your presence impacts the people you love. How you love your children is one of the clearest ways God's love gets revealed to them. True success won't be measured in accomplishments or attention, it will be measured by the people you poured your life into. The goal isn't to work harder as a dad, it's to abide more deeply in the Father's love, since everything sustainable flows from that place of intimacy. GUEST Banning Liebscher is a pastor, speaker, and author. Along with his wife, SeaJay, he founded Jesus Culture, a ministry of worship, conferences, and leadership development. Together they have three young adult children: Ellianna, Raya, and Lake. Top 7 Quotes "Being a great father takes a massive amount of courage." "The danger for dads is not a lack of activity, it's activity that's not going anywhere." "The goal is not to work harder, it's to abide more." "Being self aware and others aware" is what dads have to master. "How you love your children will reveal God's love to them." "We loved Him because He first loved us." "Being a dad is hands down the biggest sacrifice I've ever had to make." LINKS Leave a VOICEMAIL: https://www.speakpipe.com/DadAwesome Join Team Awesomeness (monthly support team) at any level from $7/month to $1000/month... We have 41 families committed to fueling the ministry DadAwesome as we head toward celebrating 9 years of AWESOMENESS this coming winter: https://www.dadawesome.org/give Join the DadAwesome Prayer Team: Text "pray" to (651) 370-8618 Apply to join the next DadAwesome Accelerator Cohort Subscribe to DadAwesome Messages: Text the word "Dad" to (651) 370-8618 7-Day Video Series: dadawesome.org/book Free Chapter + Intro Video Series: dadawesome.org/book Subscribe to DadAwesome Messages: Text "Dad" to (651) 370-8618 The DADAWESOME book Learn about Jesus Culture The Flip Side by Flip Flippen

Join the DadAwesome PRAYER TEAM: Recieve updates on the 20-minute DadAwesome prayer Zoom Calls on Mondays/Fridays: Text "pray" to (651) 370-8618 EPISODE SUMMARY: Most men have never pictured David's mighty men as real flesh and blood warriors who bled, prayed, and screamed to God for covering before they ever swung a sword. In this episode, novelist and Army veteran Cliff Graham shares what twenty years inside the world of the Old Testament taught him about sacrifice, mentorship, and becoming the kind of father whose absence is felt when he's gone. You'll also hear why your kids see the things you thought you did in the dark, and why aimlessness in a dad leaves an entire family unmoored. TAKEAWAYS: Your kids are watching at all times. The thing you think you did in the dark and nobody noticed is the thing they saw. The toughest men in scripture didn't charge in confident in their own abilities. They cried out for God's covering first, and so should you. Sacrificial choices still count when your heart isn't in them. Decide through the paradigm of what's best for your family, however you're feeling, and God honors that choice. Invite your kids into your work and into your worst days. Let them see how you respond when everything falls apart. Male mentorship is disappearing. Find the man who is twenty years ahead of you, who will sit in your pain and call you out on your stuff. BIO Cliff Graham is an author and U.S. Army veteran best known for the Lion of War series, an epic retelling of the lives of David's mighty men that has been translated into seven languages and hit bestseller lists. He has spent extensive time in Israel researching the world of the Old Testament, and has also written Shadow of the Mountain (Caleb) and The Boundary of Blood (Shamgar). When he isn't writing, he works as a railroader in the western United States. He and his wife, Cassandra, have four children, three of them sons. QUOTES "It's not an awesome dad if you're aimless." (17:40) "Every little thing that a guy does that he thinks, 'I did this in the dark and no one cares' — you'd be surprised what your kids are seeing all the time." (14:05) "He didn't charge into the fight endlessly confident in his own abilities. He was screaming to God for covering." (11:00) "Just to be a dad that the loss is felt when you go is so important." (19:50) "There's nothing in this life that gives you anything near the joy and satisfaction of being a dad. There's just nothing." (22:47) LINKS Leave a VOICEMAIL: https://www.speakpipe.com/DadAwesome Join Team Awesomeness (monthly support team) at any level from $7/month to $1000/month... We have 41 families committed to fueling the ministry DadAwesome as we head toward celebrating 9 years of AWESOMENESS this coming winter: https://www.dadawesome.org/give Join the DadAwesome Prayer Team: Apply to join the next DadAwesome Accelerator Cohort 7-Day Video Series: dadawesome.org/book Free Chapter + Intro Video Series: dadawesome.org/book Subscribe to DadAwesome Messages: Text "Dad" to (651) 370-8618 The DADAWESOME book Day of War by Cliff Graham (Lion of War, Book 1) The Lion of War series (Kavod Press):Day of War, Covenant of War, Song of War, Fires of War, and the fifth book releasing this year The Boundary of Blood by Cliff Graham (Shamgar) Shadow of the Mountain by Cliff Graham (Caleb) Cliff Graham's newsletter: lionofwar.substack.com Psalm 140:7 — "O Lord God of my salvation, you have covered my head in the day of battle" 2 Samuel 23 and 1 Chronicles 11 — the mighty men Field of Dreams (film) Cinderella Man (film) Braveheart (film)

SUMMARY Your words become your child's inner voice, for better or for worse. In this episode, Brent Silkey shares the practice he's kept without missing a single year — a handwritten letter to each of his four kids on every birthday, so that by graduation they'll hold an 18-year catalog of God's faithfulness over their life. Recorded in the pouring rain during Brent's 24-hour run for freedom, this conversation will challenge you to speak life over your family, stop settling for comfort, and take the next step you already know you need to take. TAKEAWAYS You can do hard things, or you can have hard things happen to you. Dads who train themselves — physically, spiritually, emotionally — build a reservoir their whole family draws from. Your words are the foundation blocks of your family's culture. Brent has written and read a letter to each of his four kids on every birthday, so by graduation they'll hold an 18-year catalog of God's faithfulness over their life. Big vision belongs to the whole family, not just to dad. Bike rides became park days, marathons became bake sales and jewelry stands, and the kids caught the heart without ever being told to. Freedom from pornography is one of the greatest gifts a dad can give. Shame keeps men isolated; rootedness in a real community — not a la carte Christianity — is where the healing starts. You'll never regret investing more in your family. You'll know your kids as adults far longer than you knew them as kids, so when they say "up," pick them up. QUOTES "By the time they graduate high school, they'll have a catalog of God's faithfulness over 18 years in these letters." "You can either do hard things or you can have hard things happen to you." "Do something you've never done to reach someone that's not yet been reached." "This is a family thing, not a Brent thing." "The most life-changing question outside of the gospel being shared was, What's my next obedience step?" "We can be people who speak life over our families, life over our kids. It really goes a long way." GUEST Brent Silkey is the founder of 30 for Freedom, a ministry mobilizing runners to rescue girls out of trafficking. He's completed 71+ marathons and ultras — including seven marathons on seven continents in seven days — and has helped raise more than $4.3 million for freedom. Brent also directs Chi Alpha at the University of St. Thomas and runs with UNRL. Adopted from South Korea as a baby, he and his wife live in Minnesota with their four kids: two daughters, 14 and 11, and two sons, 8 and 5. This fall he's taking on 40 for Freedom — running 40 miles for his 40th birthday and inviting 40 leaders to multiply the vision toward $300,000 raised in a single day. LINKS Spartan Team DadAwesome, Dallas, Texas, October 17 https://givebutter.com/DallasSpartan Leave a VOICEMAIL: https://www.speakpipe.com/DadAwesome Join Team Awesomeness (monthly support team) at any level from $7/month to $1000/month... We have 41 families committed to fueling the ministry DadAwesome as we head toward celebrating 9 years of AWESOMENESS this coming winter: https://www.dadawesome.org/give Join the DadAwesome Prayer Team: Text "pray" to (651) 370-8618 Apply to join the next DadAwesome Accelerator Cohort Subscribe to DadAwesome Messages: Text the word "Dad" to (651) 370-8618 7-Day Video Series: dadawesome.org/book Free Chapter + Intro Video Series: dadawesome.org/book Subscribe to DadAwesome Messages: Text "Dad" to (651) 370-8618 The DadAwesome book (search "dadawesome" on Amazon) 30 for Freedom: https://www.instagram.com/30forfreedom/ Brent Silkey on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/brentsilkey/ Brent Silkey's 40 for Freedom Challenge Chi Alpha at University of St. Thomas: https://www.instagram.com/ust_xa/ UNRL: https://www.instagram.com/unrlco/ The Great World Race Episode page will be: https://www.dadawesome.org/blog/450

SUMMARY Most of us move through our days on autopilot, heads down, running our own agenda. The struggling dad at church, the neighbor whose marriage is barely holding on, the single mom wrestling groceries into her car — we walk right past. In Part 7 of the Multipliers series, Jeff reads Chapter 29 of the DadAwesome book and shares an archive clip with Danny Silk about the isolation trap, why control is the wrong tool for fathering, and what a home that resembles heaven actually feels like. Key Takeaways God doesn't watch from the bleachers. He jumps into the mess with us, and He often chooses to answer desperate prayers through ordinary people who are willing to notice and respond. You already have what someone needs. Our Italian angel offered three things any of us can give: time, trust, and troubleshooting. Not more resources — just a willingness to make available what's already in your hands. Interruptions are often God appointments. When someone opens up about their pain, that's not small talk. It's a door opening. Isolation is the enemy's trap for men. Alone, you become master and ruler of your own reality, and that's the fast track to deception. Multiplication requires brotherhood. You cannot control your children — so learn to control yourself. When intimidation or the threat of punishment is the most-used tool in your toolbox, you've built a culture in your home that doesn't resemble heaven. A small yes can get multiplied by 100. A bold prayer for $10,000 became more than $1 million raised for the fatherless across 30 events and over 1,000 men. Quotes "God jumps into our mess with us. He's not watching from the bleachers." (05:35) "Every day we walk past people having their own version of lost in Florence." (06:15) "You don't need more to make a big difference. You've already got what someone desperately needs. You just need to be willing to share it." (11:15) "I'm learning to see struggling people as potential God appointments instead of interruptions." (11:30) "As fathers, we teach our children more through our responses to others' needs than through our lectures about compassion." (12:40) "God takes our small yes and multiplies it into something far bigger than we imagined." (16:45) "The trap of the enemy for men in particular is isolation. Because now you become master and ruler of reality, and that is the fast track to deception." (19:20) — Danny Silk "When the most used tool in my toolbox as a parent is some form of intimidation or the threat of punishment, then I have created a culture in my home that does not resemble heaven." (20:45) — Danny Silk "My Father is much more concerned about my heart connection to Him than He is controlling me." (21:40) — Danny Silk "If you don't learn to control yourself, you are out of control." (22:20) — Danny Silk Action Steps: I. Reflection Name your phase. Childish, young adult, young married, young dad, wise dad — where are you actually living right now? Who have you walked past? Think back over the last month. Who could have used a pause in your care? Take inventory. Time, trust, troubleshooting. Skills, margin, network, resources, lived experience. What do you have that someone else might be desperate for? II. Multiplication Where are you isolated? You will not see a multiplication miracle alone. Name the guys in your foxhole, or admit you need to build that crew. Serve with someone. When a dad needs help with a yard project, bring another dad along. Friendship grows shoulder to shoulder. Find the side door. Pick a date and a challenge rather than "let's just sit and talk." A race, a ride, a project — action is often the side door to a man's heart. III. Activation Pray for a God appointment this week. Stay alert for the person who needs time, generosity, care, or counsel. Let your kids watch. Go out of your way to show compassion within sight of your children. Don't hustle on to the next thing. Run the small yes. Is there something God put on your heart that you keep postponing? What if now is the time? Run it as an experiment — what could it hurt?