The Coaching Leader - by IntelliCoach

Advice is helpful. But without a short "compass check," mentees often don't use it. In this episode, I reveal why traditional mentoring often falls short—and how combining mentoring with coaching skills transforms your impact as a leader. Main Ideas: Why handing over a "map" of your experience isn't enough—and what's missing. The compass check: How to start mentoring conversations that activate thinking, not passive note-taking. Practical questions that help mentees discover whether your advice actually applies to their unique situation. Mentor for independence, not dependence. What's one question you'll add to your next mentoring chat?

It's a familiar scenario. You go into a discussion and you spend 20 minutes talking about someone who isn't even in the room; you end up walking away with zero actionable solutions. I call this 'investigating a ghost'. When team members come to you frustrated about a colleague, it's tempting to play detective together, analyzing that absent person's motives and behaviors. But here's the trap: you can't coach/change someone who isn't there. In this episode, I'll show you how to pivot these circular conversations into productive problem-solving by focusing on what actually matters: the person right in front of you + what's within their control. Main Ideas: Why do leaders waste time investigating absent people instead of coaching the person present. The Three-Step Pivot How to shift from passive complaining to active agency, and why not taking sides is actually more helpful. Ready to stop wasting time on people who aren't in the room? Let's focus your coaching energy where it can actually create change.

Reframe 'don't' goals into concrete actions only living people perform. When you set goals like "I won't complain" or "I'll stop interrupting," you're unknowingly sabotaging yourself. In this episode, I explore the Dead Man's Rule—a powerful principle from behavioral psychology that reveals why negatively-framed goals fail and how to transform them into actionable directives that actually drive change. Main Ideas: The Dead Man's Rule explained Three reasons our brains can't process "don't do X" instructions effectively. How to identify and normalize goals, turning vague avoidance statements into concrete, actionable plans Want to stop spinning your wheels on goals that go nowhere? Let's discover how shifting from avoidance to action can transform the way you approach personal and professional growth.

We say we value family, health, and learning. But our calendars tell a different story. There's often a gap between what we claim matters and where our time actually goes. Main Ideas: ● How your calendar and spending reveal your true values, not your stated ones ● Why we often aspire to values we don't actually live by ● The difference between aspirational values and actual values ● How to use your credit card statements to understand your priorities ● Steps to structure your life around the values you aspire to have Take an honest look at how you spend your time. The mirror doesn't judge—it just shows you what's there.

When someone upsets you, do you tell yourself "they made me angry"—or do you recognize that you're choosing your response? In this episode, I share a story from my early leadership days and a five-step framework I've developed for reclaiming emotional remote control. Main Ideas: Why saying "someone made me feel" means giving away your emotional control My story of creating a manual my team didn't use and the anger I felt The five-step framework for reclaiming your emotional remote control How to challenge the stories we tell ourselves about external triggers Setting boundaries without letting others dictate your emotional state Listen to this episode to learn how to stop giving others the remote control to your emotional state and start responding rather than reacting.