Talking to Strangers (About Music)

When confusion reigns, where do you turn? We are strangers to ourselves in these moments, unfocused and unclear. I often turn to the piano, or other musical instruments to get at and get out what's going on inside. More even than writing, composing music allows thoughts and feelings to flow through me unencumbered (or, at least, less encumbered than the more rational reasoned way I sometimes feel I have to write, or talk.)

In this episode, I play some piano and talk through some ideas about how we go about expressing ourselves and getting at the confusing often chaotic feelings going on inside us, often as a result of the chaotic confusion in the world outside:) 

We are not in control, not of the decisions of the government, how the mountains shift and change, how other people act or even of our own hearts. That realization and understanding can be both dismaying and, for me, strangely empowering.  I can't control, I just have to soften and become more pliant in the way I move through decisions and actions. I have to be adaptable, and compassionate to myself and others. It is easy to say but hard to do that in relationships of all kinds, with ourselves, with each other, with the world, we have to sometimes live with the idea that we will not figure the perfect way. We will fly haphazardly around and about sometimes, like a crazy dragonfly, and then we will suddenly latch on to something as if we knew what we wanted all along. We will, eventually, come through it all to a landing place. 

As we head into the Cancer New Moon tonight at 8:00, Zen teacher Ji Hyang suggests adopting a "spirit of empowered authenticity." How do we identify and release primal feelings and nurture ourselves to get past what she calls "socially constructed suffering"? 

I choose often to play piano or other music, what about you? Find me at [email protected], or subscribe to SacredBloomTribe.com to experience a sound bath or join me in a drum circle, a great release!!!

XX
Steph

What makes us love a musician? The connection with a performer and their music is not unlike other loves probably, a slightly inexplicable alchemy that hits us hard, right off the bat.

Seeing a long line of people waiting mid-morning for the best seats for the Phoebe Bridgers benefit concert in Prospect Park last week, I was curious: why do these folks love her so much they’d wait all day in the hot sun to get as close as possible?

So I asked. I’d never even heard of the 27-year-old  indie phenom til the night before, when my husband couldn’t find parking because of her first night’s show in the park two blocks from our apartment. But these young women—(left to right Annecy, Gaby and Tatiana)—were the first three in line, and they very articulately expressed what drew them to the artist. It was heartfelt, and touching.

Ms. Bridgers’ music allowed them to safely feel their own feelings, to feel that someone could relate to their own experience, they said. ‘Sadness’ was mentioned by all. That she somehow helped them feel into that and come out of it, or at least feel less alone in it. 

“It’s like a collective catharsis,” Tatiana said, and I cheered, inwardly and outwardly. Yes! What a beautiful thing. I love talking to strangers about this amazing powerful phenomenon! Thank you Phoebe Bridgers for your incredible support of these young people, offering them a way to feel less alone in their lives.

When I sat down to write about Dani Markham, the first thing I did was look up "cool." Even though it was the first word that came to mind when I thought to describe her, I guess I don't really know why, or what 'cool' really means...

Obviously, like all words, 'cool' is subjective. But what came up from psychologists who study perceptions of human behavior were qualities like 'attitude and behavior seen as uniquely their own" and "accepting who you are, showing up authentically, being kind to everyone." 

Cool, it seems, means becoming the person you genuinely feel you are internally and wish to be. And then being able to be kind to others because YOU are doing what you want, and don’t have to be jealous or mean. Huh. Inspiring thought!!

And this young woman, a renowned percussionist, a world traveler, with her big smile and even bigger heart, obviously has figured out who she wants to be, and has gone for it, with great results so…she could be a super sweetie, a stranger I immediately felt the need to hang onto!

We sat down to discuss how it had come to pass that Dani had ended up on stages of major arenas with Childish Gambino and plenty of other bands…Listen in to hear how exactly Dani Markham got so cool. There are lessons here, lots of them, on how to get what you want. (Spoiler alert: believe you can, and find others who believe you can too!)

For this episode, I sat down naked at the piano. Sometimes, it is only through music and rhythm that I am able to get at what I'm REALLY thinking and feeling, what I want to express. Sometimes, often, words don't work. 

I so like to express my naked thoughts and ideas. And I like to hear other people's. People often can see that in my eyes, in my body language. They tell me things, sometimes things they haven't told anybody else. I often wonder what that is, why people feel they can say things to me that they haven't felt comfortable sharing before, with  others. 

The reality is that I understand why people often don't share, why I don't (when I don't.) Because truly attempting to connect leaves you fully naked and vulnerable. And, mostly, we have been burned so much in the past that we might not trust, we might not let our guard down, we might stay clothed and covered and behind layer after layer of impenetrable walls. 

I discovered that rhythm can allow us to tear down those walls. In even a minute of playing percussion, people can forget to pretend, they can forget to dodge and dart and hide. They can be present, in the moment, with themselves first and foremost. And they can, often, be present with others. They can tune in, get in tune, find their rhythm, join in, create harmony. 

In this podcast, I play piano -- naked and nakedly -- to try to unearth the real thoughts in my head, then I explore some ideas about my very naked approach to connecting, through vibration and percussion, through rhythm. 

I want this space to explore more the world of connection through music, how in fact "Talking to Strangers" might best be done wordlessly, gathered in a circle with other humans. 

It is through rhythm that us humans might be able to shed some of those labels and monikers that divide us, might be able to truly see our ability to connect, joyfully and nakedly, with ease.

Music is a gift. It offers transcendence for all souls if we let it, if even for just a moment...