Welcome to Beyond36 the podcast that asks the question that sparks connection! At beyond36 we believe in investing in our relationships and to bring the best of our past into the future. Robinhood is helping people invest in their futures by eliminating the $6.95 that companies like ETRADE and TD AMERICADE charge every time their customers want to buy or trade stock. That’s right Robinhood makes it free! I would love to give you a free stock through my affiliate link and when you use this link, I get another free stock too. It’s http://bit.ly/beyond36. You might get a stock work $2 or $90, it’s the luck of the draw! Either way, you will have more stock in your future than you do now at no cost to you! By the way, Robinhood is regulated by the Securities and Exchange Commission like every other brokerage and is safe and reliable. This is episode 002! Stay tuned for today’s tip, question and quote. But first I will set the table: Did you ever play the “Telephone Game” as kid? Where one person whispers a message to the next and finally the last person announces what she heard? Usually her announcement is very different from the original message. That’s the way most of us hear. The message becomes distorted. Not because the speaker is listening but because the message goes through our own internal filters and conditioning. We listen just long enough to formulate a response and then many of us do not wait to speak we interrupt, overtalk just to have our say. A message is sent but is it received? Do we really hear what has been said? When having an intentional chat we have some ground rules. After making sure the listener is ready to listen -- listen to episode one for more on making sure the time is right to have an intentional chat. But how do you listen? TO LISTEN Give your partner a chance to really share her thoughts by sitting face to face, heart to heart, belly to belly, maintaining gentle (loving not confrontational) eye contact and take in what she has to say without focusing on what you might say next. This is really listening. You may think – I know what she is going to say. Well, you do not and, even if this is the fiftieth time you have had the same argument, give your partner the respect of listening. You will be rewarded for it in so many ways. It is okay to nod, reach out and hold hands, or rub a knee but do not interrupt. Interrupting is disrespectful. It says that what I want to say is more important than what you are saying. Love requires respect! Let your partner have her say and just receive the message. So this is tip number 2 -- listen Here is question number 2 -- 2. When did you last notice that you appreciate what I bring to your life? Listener this is a question that is likely to make the speaker feel very vulnerable. Please do not use this opening as an opportunity to unload, criticize, blame or shame. Leave the bad memories of the past in the past and for this question, especially, only bring forward something good. What we focus on grows so for these intentional chats, let’s focus on the good. And with this question you are going to shift from listener to speaker. As you make the shift uses “I” language and tell her the last time or the most powerful memory of when you were most appreciative of the speaker’s presence in your life as you maintain gentle eye-contact. repeat 2. When did you last notice that you appreciate what I bring to your life? Listener please answer this question! It is an opening to more love and trust. Here is the quote of the day to encourage you: from ANONYMOUS What we see around us matters far less than the truths that we hold in our hearts. Share that good truth you hold in your heart dear listener! Also, so that you are both on the same page, share this episode of the Beyond36 podcast with the person you would like to ask this question. It will help you both to be on the same page and ready to have an intentional chat!

Beyond 36 with Kim Kirkley

Kim Kirkley

002_Beyond_36_with_Kim_Kirkley_Listening

DEC 6, 20189 MIN
Beyond 36 with Kim Kirkley

002_Beyond_36_with_Kim_Kirkley_Listening

DEC 6, 20189 MIN

Description

Welcome to Beyond36 the podcast that asks the question that sparks connection! At beyond36 we believe in investing in our relationships and to bring the best of our past into the future. Robinhood is helping people invest in their futures by eliminating the $6.95 that companies like ETRADE and TD AMERICADE charge every time their customers want to buy or trade stock. That’s right Robinhood makes it free! I would love to give you a free stock through my affiliate link and when you use this link, I get another free stock too. It’s http://bit.ly/beyond36. You might get a stock work $2 or $90, it’s the luck of the draw! Either way, you will have more stock in your future than you do now at no cost to you! By the way, Robinhood is regulated by the Securities and Exchange Commission like every other brokerage and is safe and reliable. This is episode 002! Stay tuned for today’s tip, question and quote. But first I will set the table: Did you ever play the “Telephone Game” as kid? Where one person whispers a message to the next and finally the last person announces what she heard? Usually her announcement is very different from the original message. That’s the way most of us hear. The message becomes distorted. Not because the speaker is listening but because the message goes through our own internal filters and conditioning. We listen just long enough to formulate a response and then many of us do not wait to speak we interrupt, overtalk just to have our say. A message is sent but is it received? Do we really hear what has been said? When having an intentional chat we have some ground rules. After making sure the listener is ready to listen -- listen to episode one for more on making sure the time is right to have an intentional chat. But how do you listen? TO LISTEN Give your partner a chance to really share her thoughts by sitting face to face, heart to heart, belly to belly, maintaining gentle (loving not confrontational) eye contact and take in what she has to say without focusing on what you might say next. This is really listening. You may think – I know what she is going to say. Well, you do not and, even if this is the fiftieth time you have had the same argument, give your partner the respect of listening. You will be rewarded for it in so many ways. It is okay to nod, reach out and hold hands, or rub a knee but do not interrupt. Interrupting is disrespectful. It says that what I want to say is more important than what you are saying. Love requires respect! Let your partner have her say and just receive the message. So this is tip number 2 -- listen Here is question number 2 -- 2. When did you last notice that you appreciate what I bring to your life? Listener this is a question that is likely to make the speaker feel very vulnerable. Please do not use this opening as an opportunity to unload, criticize, blame or shame. Leave the bad memories of the past in the past and for this question, especially, only bring forward something good. What we focus on grows so for these intentional chats, let’s focus on the good. And with this question you are going to shift from listener to speaker. As you make the shift uses “I” language and tell her the last time or the most powerful memory of when you were most appreciative of the speaker’s presence in your life as you maintain gentle eye-contact. repeat 2. When did you last notice that you appreciate what I bring to your life? Listener please answer this question! It is an opening to more love and trust. Here is the quote of the day to encourage you: from ANONYMOUS What we see around us matters far less than the truths that we hold in our hearts. Share that good truth you hold in your heart dear listener! Also, so that you are both on the same page, share this episode of the Beyond36 podcast with the person you would like to ask this question. It will help you both to be on the same page and ready to have an intentional chat!