Orgasmic Enlightenment with Kim Anami

On the heels of my last podcast, talking about intense chemistry and whether it’s a green or red flag, today I’m talking about the idea that relationships ought to be “SAFE”. 

I hear this word tossed around A LOT now. 

Everyone's talking about nervous system resetting and how SAFETY is the holy grail we all ought to apparently be looking for. 

I don’t think it’s safety we’re after. It’s something else entirely. 

Is heart-fluttering chemistry necessary or is it "toxic"?

Lately, I’ve heard some people say that chemistry is DANGEROUS! TOXIC! Run away! Red flag! 

Ridiculous. Tell me you’ve never had life-changing sex before without telling me. 

Chemistry is the reaction. The friction, the spark. You need it in order to create any kind of growth.

“Meh” isn’t chemistry and “meh” isn’t going to change your life.

In today’s episode: 

• What is chemistry? 
• Why it’s essential in every important relationship in your life  
• When chemistry actually can be a red flag 
• Intensity and passion vs. “calm” in relationship 
• Safety and risk in relationship: no risk, no reward? 
• The ideal conditions for relationship alchemy 
• “But we’re such good buddies! We make such good partners!” Yeah, but are you fucking each other? Ever?
• The root causes of reproductive issues 

I’ve never dated anyone. Never been on a dating site. 

My experiences in the early stages of romance and relationships have always been intense, wild and unmistakable. 

I’ve seen something reposted a few times lately, an idea that people seem to be in awe of, that’s been the story of my life: 

“What’s crazy is that real lovers don’t even do talking stages. All it takes is one good date and suddenly y’all are together every day after that.” 

Yeah. This is how it’s always been for me. I EXPECT big love, big feeling, a whole-hearted, whole-vagina, whole-soul response to someone. 

Nothing less. Why would I waste my time on anything BUT that? 

In this episode:  

• Since I don’t “date” here’s what I do instead
• The morass of modern dating and my advice on how to navigate it 
• Humans vs. superhumans
• Jen Okazaki weighs in (iykyk) 
• When you know you know 
• People who marry for every other reason other than deep passion and what they look like 5, 10, 15 years down the road—I would know because I see them all the time 
• Recognizing soul mates—or at least the people who hold vital learning for you here and now 
• Shakespearean-Romantic-poet-epic-saga-love and nothing less 
• Courage and boldness in love 
• Death by a thousand cuts of cowardice