<p>Most relationships aren’t starved for sex—they’re starved for <strong>attunement</strong>. In this kickoff, we unpack why “I don’t want sex” often means “I don’t feel safely, slowly, <em>specifically</em> known.” The episode opens with a real call from a friend questioning divorce, then moves through safety rituals, curiosity as foreplay, and “mother-grade noticing” you can practice tonight. “I’m not into sex” often means: <em>I don’t feel safe, seen, or specifically known.</em> We address why we need to connect first and why it’s not <strong>asking for a lot. Want to know me! Don’t ask me to open my body before you open my mind.</strong></p><p><strong>What you’ll learn</strong></p><p>Why “I don’t want sex” often means “I don’t feel safely, slowly, <em>specifically</em> known.”</p><p>Performance vs presence: date-night checkboxes vs reading the body.</p><p>Consent as architecture (negotiate → check-ins → aftercare).</p><p>“Mother spidey senses” for everyone: notice need before words.</p><p>Self-knowledge first: the <strong>Gesture Glossary</strong> + a 60-sec self-scan.</p><p><strong>Try one of these tonight</strong>One slow kiss (no goal)</p><p>• One real question you don’t know the answer to</p><p>• One sensory upgrade (light/music/scent)</p><p>• Ask: “What helped your body breathe?”</p><p><strong>Pull quotes</strong></p><p>“We’re not asking for more performance. We’re asking for <strong>attunement</strong>.”</p><p>“Safety didn’t kill the thrill—it made the risk taste like <strong>freedom</strong>.”</p><p>“Curiosity is foreplay.”</p><p>“Know your tells to read theirs.”</p><p></p> <br/><br/>Get full access to Her Mother Tongue at <a href="https://hermothertongue.substack.com/subscribe?utm_medium=podcast&#38;utm_campaign=CTA_4">hermothertongue.substack.com/subscribe</a>