#6.9 It's summer time with teenagers
Darren and Paige celebrate summer with a house full of teenagers and young adults, which makes the summer busy and fun. As their kids transition into adulthood, scheduling and managing expectations can be difficult. Listen to their approach to this tricky time for parents and children.Paige and Darren just graduated, Sam. He will be headed off to BYU in the fall. Now, they are just down to one child at home, who will be a senior next year. They will ease their way into empty nesting. But what about the summer? This is a unique challenge when you have older kids as opposed to littles. Let's delve into how they will handle the summer.* Give the kids a schedule. This was a lifesaver when kids were little—they had a schedule for the morning. Flexible in the afternoon. But what about older high school and college kids? Schedule? Do they need a schedule?* Limit screentime. When little, this is much easier. I had a jar of popsicle sticks with things to do on them. I don’t think the older kids would be interested in those sticks. Do you limit an 18 or 19-year-old screentime? * Work during the summer? Yes or no? Paige and Darren say yes. But if not, give them something productive to do. Sleeping in until noon every day is not a good way to spend three months of summer. They need productive days to feel a purpose. Internships, volunteering, taking summer classes, helping out with projects at home…* Managing three different work schedules. Calendar, Calendar, Calendar!* Family activities. Can everyone be together in the summer? It's a question we often ask ourselves. But it's important to make time for these shared experiences, as they create lasting memories and strengthen our bond as a family. * Follow basic family etiquette. Where are you? What time will you be home? Check in. Clean up after yourself. Be polite. Lemonade moment of the week:Sam graduated. It's a bittersweet moment, seeing Sammy grow up so fast. The time has flown by, and I'm filled with a mix of sadness and excitement for his future. He's off to BYU, with his siblings close by. We'll miss him, and the house will feel empty without his friends. The pantry will be lonely… But it's also a moment of pride, knowing that we've guided him to this point in his life. Links* https://www.almostemptynest.net/how-to-survive-the-summer-with-your-high-school-and-college-kids/* https://www.ourfamilywizard.com/blog/4-summer-coparenting-schedules--- In today's world, navigating the intricacies of parenting can often feel like walking a tightrope. This was the focus topic in a recent 'Where's the Lemonade?' podcast - guiding teenagers and young adults through adulthood while maintaining the delicate balance of freedom and safety. The hosts, Darren & Paige Pulsipher, shared their unique nighttime rule. Once their children reach the ages of eighteen or nineteen, they must send a midnight update about their location, companions, activities, and estimated return time. If their adventures are to last beyond the initially stated time, they need to check in once more. This rule, the hosts believe, is a fine balance between freedom and responsibility, fostering a culture of transparency between parents and their offspring, promoting respect in the familial ecosystem.Living under the same roof with their college-aged children brings its own set of anxieties for the hosts. Whether it’s the late-night worry about their children’s safety or the accommodation chaos left behind after a party, navigation through these circumstances becomes crucial. This is where the 'we’re home text' rule comes into play, a necessary measure to reassure worried parents about their child's safety.As the parents highlight, forming and adhering to rules is a significant part of growing up. One such rule stressed the importance of cleaning up after oneself. The hosts mentioned that they do not function as a restaurant, and their children are expected to clean their dishes after use. These rules, they believe, are not just about maintaining order in the house, but also about imbuing a sense of discipline and responsibility within their children, qualities that will help them cope in adulthood.Abiding by household rules, no matter how small forms the backbone of the household culture the hosts have built over the years. Etiquette, such as voicing your departures and avoiding food on the couch, might seem trivial. Still, they contribute towards fostering respect for the rules, which eventually transcends into consideration for the parents and their efforts.All the rules set forth by the parents, as strict as they may seem, are ultimately grounded in love and the intent to prepare their children for the responsibilities of adult life. They view the shift towards independent life as a preparation phase, infused with bittersweet nostalgia but envisioned with unending hope for their children's bright future.The hosts of 'Where's the Lemonade?' have undoubtedly provided their listeners with valuable insights and actionable solutions for the parenting journey. Their discussion forwarded the idea of embracing the tartness of 'lemons' life throws our way, only to create a refreshing glass of 'lemonade', or wisdom, for future use. And remember—the journey to adulthood should be a fulfilling and memorable transition for both parents and children. With these strategies in place, you can navigate this phase with confidence and optimism.
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