Nothing but Ramblings

I am trying something new to see how it goes so here is a current update on my life right now. Chatting about goals and finally stepping up and making the changes that need to happen instead of complaining about the situation anymore.

After some solid weeks of racing, content creation and work related stress I finally got to a point where my body and mind just gave up. I talk about a lot of things that have come from that point and how I have dealt with this. My brain is still not really right but I am getting there. Thank you everyone for your support over this time.I also talk about my history with the Mechwarrior series over the past, multiple decades, from Mechwarrior 2: Mercenaries, right through to Mechwarrior 5: Clans. The series is what got me into content creation and online communities in the first place. It has been a long journey over the last decade and a bit but this is where it all started and it was fun, but frustrating to get back into the series. Mechwarrior 5: Clans is great, just wish it was easier to use with my rig.

I am going through a rough patch right now. Things are not right in my head, but I thought I would still give you a podcast to let you know what has been happening and why I am quiet about content. After a batch of incidents started to get me down, it all came to a head in the past 48 hours, with work and family combining to make me the worst I have been for a while now.Being a parent has been the hardest part of the current situation. Knowing what to do in different situations is not natural sometimes, and I need to get better at it.Anyway, after a period of negative chat, I explained my love for Cap Carter and why I went to see him live in concert, even if it was on my own.

This week, I accidentally fell into a discussion about my dad and the time of his passing, how I dealt with that, and what exactly went down. I run through the timeline to explain why Bathurst meant so much to me but also why golf means the world to me, too. I discuss those final days and how the stress just built up and it all became too much. I then chatted about how, after he had passed, everything seemed to just settle down, and the focus on other things was a great distraction as we prepared for the funeral. This isn't a topic that I was ever really going to go into, but it is a topic that I am glad I was able to talk about in full. It really was a weird time in my life, and I am glad I could share it. Then I move across to chat about my first impressions on the new survival game in early access now on Steam, The Last Plague: Blight. I have always loved survival games and enjoy the aspect of losing myself in the world and understanding better how to survive in the world as I go along. This survival game is a lot more in-depth than most I have played, and I am starting to really find it hooking into me the more I go along. There is so much to discover in this game, and being early access, it has a long way to go, but currently, the core gameplay loop is there, and I can't wait to play more and see what they can do with it going forward.

In this episode of the podcast I have a chat about how hard it is to silence my brain all the time. I talk about the exhaustion that comes from having your brain on all the time and how it made the near bankruptcy even harder and the constant battle to get back on my feet just painful. I discuss why this makes it really hard to be a parent as well right now and how I struggle with the idea of being a good parent. There is just always something going on to make it easy to doubt myself on this topic. Finally, I talk about my ability to lose myself in the old game, Factorio. Especially being able to chuck it on the steam deck and disappear into the mundane that is that world and let my brain focus on something else rather than everything else it usually does at any given second of the day.