The Imperfects
The Imperfects

The Imperfects

Hugh van Cuylenburg, Ryan Shelton & Josh van Cuylenburg

Overview
Episodes

Details

We’re all imperfect. On this podcast, founder of The Resilience Project Hugh van Cuylenburg, his good friend Ryan Shelton, and only one of their brothers, Josh van Cuylenburg, talks to a variety of interesting people who vulnerably share their own struggles and imperfections, or expertly pass on their wisdom on the subject of imperfection. Whether it’s in The Vulnerabilitea House, The Academy of Imperfection, or with our very own psychologist, Dr Emily, The Imperfects are here to find some valuable takeaways we can all apply to our own imperfect lives.

Recent Episodes

Ryan Holiday - A Stoic Life & Death
MAY 31, 2026
Ryan Holiday - A Stoic Life & Death
We can’t control what happens to us, but we can control how we respond. At least, that’s what the Stoic’s say. 💌Join 7,500+ people getting our takeaways and favourite moments from this episode in our weekly newsletter - http://bit.ly/45NyQDy Today we are joined (deep breath Hugh) by Stoic philosopher Ryan Holiday. Using the wisdom of the past to appreciate the present, Ryan’s work is dedicated to communicating how the practicalities of stoic philosophy can help us lead more present, mindful and resilient lives today. In this incredible chat, Hugh, Josh and Ryan (our Ryan), each present Ryan Holiday with something they have been struggling with in their own lives. Through the lens of Stoic philosophers Marcus Aurelius, Seneca and Epictetus, Ryan Holiday talks to how stoicism can really help us to live into our values, prioritise presence, and deal with existential dread. We discuss with Ryan the importance of understanding what will actually make you happy (spoiler: it’s not a billion dollars), and how to reframe death as a reminder that we must appreciate every moment (or not waste anymore with shame and guilt). This episode, and its practical take-aways (which you can find listed in our newsletter), has been a long time coming. Ryan, what an absolute honour. 0:00 – What is Stoicism? 13:26 – For the Josh’s of the world 17:07 – Time and Energy of Worrying 27:01 – The illusion of freedom 33:50 – Am I a bad friend? 38:58 – Practicing what you preach ft. presence 45:42 – If today was your last day 50:22 – 5 quotes for a Stoic life If you’d like to watch this full episode on YouTube, follow this link - 🫖 Imperfects episodes mentioned in this episode Pat Cummins - Love, Loss & Life - https://bit.ly/4dHKR2F Maria Ruberto - Sleep Your Way To Your Top - https://bit.ly/4dHKPYB 📖 Things to read Letter’s from a Stoic by Seneca - https://bit.ly/49WVNqB ALL of Ryan’s books - https://bit.ly/43uHsxZ ✍️Journals to journal The Daily Stoic - https://bit.ly/49qJ6Em My Imperfect Life - https://bit.ly/4tZ8qJ6 🎟️ Things to get tickets to Daily Stoic Live with Ryan Holiday - https://bit.ly/4uK72Lt 💻Things to check out Ryan’s website - https://bit.ly/4v3Vh24 The Resilience Project - https://bit.ly/3Q4LOc4 🩷To host your own Vulnerabilitea House, purchase here - http://bit.ly/4lyuuWz 🩵To purchase our journal (or your novel) My Imperfect Life, click here - http://bit.ly/4lyuuW 🩵To join our subscriber community, A Little More Imperfects, follow this link - http://bit.ly/4mqunxu 🩷 AND you can subscribe to A Little More Imperfects through Apple Podcasts too, here - http://apple.co/theimperfects The Imperfects is not a licensed mental health service and is not a substitute for professional mental health advice, treatment or assessment. The advice given in this episode is general in nature, but if you’re struggling, please see a healthcare professional, or call lifeline on 13 11 14.  See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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76 MIN
Joel Pearson - I Think, Therefore AI
MAY 24, 2026
Joel Pearson - I Think, Therefore AI
In the age of AI, do you feel that your future is more uncertain? 💌Join 7,500+ people getting our takeaways and favourite moments from this episode in our weekly newsletter - http://bit.ly/45NyQDy In today’s Academy of Imperfection, we’re joined by Dr Joel Pearson; a neurofuturist, whose work centres around predicting how AI will impact every aspect of our lives from now on. While many of us (us included) first and foremost imagine the impacts of AI in a tech-revolution-y, robot butler-y, terminator-adjacent way, this episode goes deeper. Joel discusses how young people are forming attachments with AI companions and how we might see, perhaps the first generation in known history with a lower IQ than the one beforehand. We talk about the tangible and interconnected mental health impacts that this major societal disruption will have, and Hugh and Josh ask how in the world can we broach this topic with our kids? BUT, this episode isn’t all doom and gloom. Joel is a tech-optimist, after all. We talk to Joel about how we can foster human connection, and continue to develop our critical thinking skills, whilst not turning away from AI altogether. Joel, this has been invaluable. If you want to watch this full video on YouTube, follow this link - https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=GPGa6heppjE  0:00 – The episode we’ve been putting off10:10 – The only certainty is disruption14:15 – Impact of AI on the brain21:23 – Rewards and moral responsibility27:11 – A scary mental health spiral30:31 – Think of the children35:10 – You may now kiss the AI45:06 – Purposeful Utopia58:42 – Seeing is no longer believing1:02:21 – The Roadmap to AI1:11:35 – Finding Motivation in Limbo1:18:15 – Let’s Stack Some Habits 🫖Imperfects episodes mentioned in this episode Dr Emily - Acceptance, That’s Radical - (1:22:53) - https://bit.ly/4dW7Bfa Dr Emily - The Certainty of Uncertainty - (1:22:53) - https://bit.ly/3RTAjVl James Clear - Down The Habit Hole - (1:22:00) - https://bit.ly/4wIg5xV 📖 Things to read The Intuition Toolkit by Dr Joel Pearson - (3:18) - https://bit.ly/4v5NnFM Matt Shumer App Development Industry Blog - (27:11) - https://bit.ly/4uo65rY 💻Things to check out Joel’s website - https://bit.ly/4upBURa Tristan Harris’ Center for Human Technology - (1:25:40) - https://bit.ly/4wGrFJZ Figure Three Robotics - (42:51) - https://bit.ly/42J2Uiz Joel's work at the University of NSW as Deputy Director of Human Readiness UNSW AI Institute - https://bit.ly/4nPA89G  📺 Things to watch House of Dynamite - (26:21) - https://bit.ly/4uw5PYg 🩷To host your own Vulnerabilitea House, purchase here - http://bit.ly/4lyuuWz 🩵To purchase our journal (or your novel) My Imperfect Life, click here - http://bit.ly/4lyuuW 🩵To join our subscriber community, A Little More Imperfects, follow this link - http://bit.ly/4mqunxu 🩷 AND you can subscribe to A Little More Imperfects through Apple Podcasts too, here - http://apple.co/theimperfects The Imperfects is not a licensed mental health service and is not a substitute for professional mental health advice, treatment or assessment. The advice given in this episode is general in nature, but if you’re struggling, please see a healthcare professional, or call lifeline on 13 11 14.  See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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90 MIN
Dr Emily - What To Do With Envy
MAY 17, 2026
Dr Emily - What To Do With Envy
What is your envy telling you? 💌Join 7,000+ people getting our takeaways and favourite moments from this episode in our weekly newsletter - http://bit.ly/45NyQDy Dr Emily Musgrove, our resident psychologist, is back in the studio to talk about the green-eyed monster, and more importantly, how we can work with it to incorporate more gratitude, appreciation and awareness into our lives (hallelujah). Founded in the evolutionary practice of assessing our status in comparison with others, envy comes from the feeling of lacking something that someone else has. In what may have been an adaptive function for a cave person to secure their basic needs, our brains are not equipped for the intense comparison fed to us via social media. Dr Emily chats to Hugh, Ryan and Josh about the layered experience of envy, and how often, it stems from feeling not-enough or unworthy. Of course, Dr Emily brings the strategies. We explore how to work with envy in our own lives, and how to acknowledge it in the lives of our friends and family to protect important relationships. Dr Em, we’ll see you for the sequel on jealousy soon. To watch the full episode: https://youtu.be/B7acUnoekSc 0:00 – Envy vs Jealousy 9:08 – Keeping up with the Jones’ 8:16 – A message around ‘enoughness’ 25:12 – The energy of being a hater 36:50 – A deep longing for a difference experience 42:13 – On the flip side 52:45 - Acknowledge the hard 59:18 – The social emotion 1:07:18 – Working with envy 🫖Imperfects episodes mentioned in this episode Dave Hughes - Me, Myself & Ego - https://bit.ly/4ua3mSP Hamish Blake - Let’s Talk About Self-Doubt - https://bit.ly/4fl7omR Dr Emily - Acceptance, That’s Radical - https://bit.ly/4ugEHwe 💻Things to check out Leon Festinger’s Social Comparison Theory - https://bit.ly/4npfIE5 📺Things to watch ‘Onesies’ Bluey episode - https://bit.ly/4eGTqLS 📖Things to read The Way We Are, by Hugh Mackay - https://bit.ly/4wsJuff Status Anxiety, by Alain de Botton - https://bit.ly/4tvbGeL 🩷To host your own Vulnerabilitea House, purchase here - http://bit.ly/4lyuuWz 🩵To purchase our journal (or your novel) My Imperfect Life, click here - http://bit.ly/4lyuuW 🩵To join our subscriber community, A Little More Imperfects, follow this link - http://bit.ly/4mqunxu 🩷 AND you can subscribe to A Little More Imperfects through Apple Podcasts too, here - http://apple.co/theimperfects The Imperfects is not a licensed mental health service and is not a substitute for professional mental health advice, treatment or assessment. The advice given in this episode is general in nature, but if you’re struggling, please see a healthcare professional, or call lifeline on 13 11 14. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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79 MIN
Reuben Williams - What Happened After My Sexual Assault
MAY 10, 2026
Reuben Williams - What Happened After My Sexual Assault
Can you think of a moment that turned your life into ‘before’ and ‘after’? For Reuben Williams, that moment was not his sexual assault, rather, the decision he made in the aftermath to pursue justice. 💌Join 7,000+ people getting our takeaways and favourite moments from this episode in our weekly newsletter - http://bit.ly/45NyQDy Incredibly vulnerable, Reuben talks Hugh, Ryan and Josh through what it felt like in the 24 hours after the assault, how he knew, undeniably, what happened to him was wrong, and why he chose to report it. We talk about the intricacies of healing, privilege, and having a world class difficult conversation with the ones you love. And then, Josh asks Reuben how you can best show up for your friends who might be going through something similar. Reuben, it was such a privilege having you in the studio. If you want to watch this full episode on YouTube, follow this link - https://youtu.be/okQnOwV2MJE  0:00 – An Imperfect Meet-Cute6:44 – The night of the assault19:28 – Identity, privilege, and idealism33:09 – Family Dynamics41:16 - World Class Difficult Conversation47:39 – The Waiting Game59:15 – Reuben’s Letter1:04:24 – A divine test1:10:30 – Just help1:18:46 – How can you be a better friend? 🫖Imperfects episodes mentioned on this episode Rana Hussain - Belonging For Connection - https://bit.ly/49voquJ 🎧Things to listen to SportsGrad Podcast - https://bit.ly/42V75HT 💻Things to check out SportsGrad - https://bit.ly/49p2hOD 🚨If you’d like to reach out to someone for support after listening to this episode, here are some great places to start 1800 RESPECT Centre Against Sexual Assault - 03 5441 0430 (Mon-Fri 9am-5pm) OR 1800 806 292 (Sexual Assault Crisis Line) 🩷To host your own Vulnerabilitea House, purchase here - http://bit.ly/4lyuuWz 🩵To purchase our journal (or your novel) My Imperfect Life, click here - http://bit.ly/4lyuuW 🩵To join our subscriber community, A Little More Imperfects, follow this link - http://bit.ly/4mqunxu 🩷 AND you can subscribe to A Little More Imperfects through Apple Podcasts too, here - http://apple.co/theimperfects The Imperfects is not a licensed mental health service and is not a substitute for professional mental health advice, treatment or assessment. The advice given in this episode is general in nature, but if you’re struggling, please see a healthcare professional, or call lifeline on 13 11 14.  See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
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89 MIN