The Imperfects

🎟️ Our live show Together Again is on sale now! Tickets here - https://bit.ly/4mEK9Ep

Joining us in the Vulnerabilitea House, all the way from Manchester, Mary answers the question ‘what do you worry about the most?’

With wisdom far beyond her 22 years, Mary explains to Hugh, Ryan and Josh the impossible task of being the ‘perfect’ role model, especially when you are still growing up yourself.

And then, in a conversation that will help many, and maybe even save the life of a few, Mary graciously shares her experiences with self-harm, and why she thinks it is so important to have the heavy conversations, even with the risk of saying the wrong thing.

Mary talks about her journey with pressure and forgiveness that lead her to rediscover ‘Little Mary’, her wall of things that make her feel loved, and how she has been able to reframe her darkest times to find more empathy for others.

Mary, it was an absolute dream come true to speak with you.

0:00 – The 2023 Fairy tale
6:52 – What do you worry about most?
23:00 – Giving and taking power
34:01 – Appreciating the little things
41:01 – Saying the hard thing
56:22 – Beauty after pain
1:04:29 – Am I supposed to be here?
1:09:16 – Looking after Little Mary

if you would like to watch this full video on YouTube, follow this link: https://youtu.be/O_9Wf0WSfMM 

📖Things to read;

• Bloom, by Mary Fowler - https://bit.ly/443cWw3

🚨If you, or someone you know, is thinking about suicide or self-harm, Lifeline on 13 11 14 is a great place to start. In an emergency, please call 000.

🩷To host your own Vulnerabilitea House, (with the new cards!) purchase here - http://bit.ly/4lyuuWz

🩵To purchase our journal (or your novel) My Imperfect Life, click here - http://bit.ly/4lyuuWz

💌Join 3,000+ people getting our takeaways and favourite moments from this episode in our weekly newsletter - http://bit.ly/45NyQDy

🩵To join our patreon community, A Little More Imperfects, follow this link - http://bit.ly/4mqunxu

🩷 AND you can subscribe to A Little More Imperfects through Apple Podcasts too, here - http://bit.ly/4mq5BO5

The Imperfects is not a licensed mental health service and is not a substitute for professional mental health advice, treatment or assessment. The advice given in this episode is general in nature, but if you’re struggling, please see a healthcare professional, or call lifeline on 13 11 14.

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

🎟️ Our live show Together Again is on sale now! Tickets here - https://bit.ly/4mEK9Ep

It’s our favourite time of the month and Dr Emily Musgrove, our resident psychologist, is back in the studio to talk the talk (and walk the walk) about healthy communication.

The impact of our learning history (colloquially known as “baggage”) gets a heavy feature in this episode, as Ryan, Josh and Bridge unpack their communication styles, and how this has impacted their intimate relationships.

Dr Emily talks us through why the real challenge of communicating is not our use of language, but rather regulation of emotion, and gifts us a plethora of acronyms to practice at home the skills of effective communication.

Dr Em, always a pleasure.

Chapters:
0:00 – Communication, conflict, and Hannah Ferguson 
10:19 – How do you (mostly?) communicate?
14:57 – The impact of our learning history
22:10 – Interpersonal Effectiveness
27:41 – Practicing getting it wrong to get it right
31:59 – Do opposites attract?
34:44 – Respond rather than react
47:51 – We all love an acronym
1:01:45 – Dealing with unreasonable people
1:15:49 – Breaking patterns

If you want to watch this full episode on YouTube, follow this link -

🫖Other Imperfects episodes mentioned in this episode

• Hannah Ferguson - Outspoken But Not Broken - https://bit.ly/4ilr2i2
• Dr Emily - Truth vs Harmony - https://bit.ly/481Xfri

💻Things to do:

• Complete the official Thomas-Kilmann Instrument communication styles quiz - https://bit.ly/4rowC7m
• Complete the free Thomas-Kilmann Instrument inspired communication styles quiz - https://bit.ly/4iygpbR

📺 Things to watch:

• The Rehearsal - https://bit.ly/4ong1hL

📖 Things to read:

• Terry Real’s catalogue - https://bit.ly/4p25w4m
• DBT Training Skills Manual, by Marsha M. Linehan - https://bit.ly/4ioNXcs
• BIFF, by Bill Eddy - https://bit.ly/4ojowdG

🩷To host your own Vulnerabilitea House, (with the new cards!) purchase here - http://bit.ly/4lyuuWz

🩵To purchase our journal (or your novel) My Imperfect Life, click here - http://bit.ly/4lyuuWz

💌Join 3,000+ people getting our takeaways and favourite moments from this episode in our weekly newsletter - http://bit.ly/45NyQDy

🩵To join our patreon community, A Little More Imperfects, follow this link - http://bit.ly/4mqunxu

🩷 AND you can subscribe to A Little More Imperfects through Apple Podcasts too, here - http://bit.ly/4mq5BO5

The Imperfects is not a licensed mental health service and is not a substitute for professional mental health advice, treatment or assessment. The advice given in this episode is general in nature, but if you’re struggling, please see a healthcare professional, or call lifeline on 13 11 14.

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

🎟️ Our live show Together Again is on sale now! Tickets here - https://bit.ly/4mEK9Ep

When Jamila was last in our studio, she was deep in the grief stage.

Jamila’s life had been irrevocably changed by the imposition of a brain tumour, and the myriad of health complications due to surgery. To put it simply, Jamila didn’t know who Jamila was anymore, and that terrified her.

This week, in the Vulnerabilitea House, Jamila answers the questions “what aspects of your identity have you held onto for too long?”

The drip-fed loss of cognitive functions and a new hormone condition which made her constantly starving, Jamila felt like her body and mind were no longer her own. Speaking to Hugh, Josh, and Ryan really honestly, Jamila opens up about her eating disorder during this time; how it impacted her sense of self, her relationships, and ability to connect.

Jamila, it was a joy to have you back. We’re so proud of you.

Chapters:
0:00 – Where are they now?
7:31 – What aspects of your identity have you held onto for too long?
20:06 – Phases of identity
25:24 – Impact of a brain tumour on a relationship
29:52 – Constantly starving, craving thinness
36:51 – Intense, urgent desperation
48:38 – Train your brain to love your body
54:12 – Would you take it back?
59:39 – Adrenal Crisis and Crisis of Self

To watch this full episode on YouTube, follow this link: https://youtu.be/A_lE3nSA2Mc

🏆Win a set of our new Vulnerabilitea House Cards, mate! Exactly the same as the regular set, but with “mate” written on every card. Sign up here: https://bit.ly/47BpGvX

🫖Other episodes of The Imperfects mentioned on this episode

• Jamila Rizvi - Living with the effects of a brain tumour - https://bit.ly/3M8QR8V
• Grace Tame - “Sexy-time, Scissoring, Autism” - https://bit.ly/47ZGJqs
• Clare Bowditch - Music, Panic Attacks & Body Image - https://bit.ly/4pkmFGp

📖Things to read:

• Broken Brains by Jamila Rizvi and Rosie Waterland - https://bit.ly/48l6JxP

💻Things to look up:

• The “If And Then” model of happiness - https://bit.ly/4pi0UH6

📱Games to download:

• 2048 - https://bit.ly/43BHpkx

🦋 If this conversation has raised some uncomfortable feelings for you around eating and food, the Butterfly Foundation 1800 33 4673 is a great place check out - https://butterfly.org.au

🩷To host your own Vulnerabilitea House, (with the new cards!) purchase here - http://bit.ly/4lyuuWz

🩵To purchase our journal (or your novel) My Imperfect Life, click here - http://bit.ly/4lyuuWz

🩵To join our patreon community, A Little More Imperfects, follow this link - http://bit.ly/4mqunxu

🩷 AND you can subscribe to A Little More Imperfects through Apple Podcasts too, here - http://bit.ly/4mq5BO5

The Imperfects is not a licensed mental health service and is not a substitute for professional mental health advice, treatment or assessment. The advice given in this episode is general in nature, but if you’re struggling, please see a healthcare professional, or call lifeline on 13 11 14.

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

🎟️ Our live show Together Again is on sale now! Tickets here - https://bit.ly/4mEK9Ep

In fact, many of Troy’s organs are in the ‘wrong’ place. Which can be hard on the immune system, but great material for a stand-up comedian.

Joining us in the Vulnerabilitea House, and answering the question, ‘when is a time you’ve felt ashamed?’ Troy takes us on a journey, from being offered a (life)line by a fish and chip shop in his 20’s, to the effect that being sick for an entire year had on his mental health.

Troy chats to Josh about the light he found in his darkest times, and how living without fear allowed him to venture into the comedy world for the first time.

Speaking about success, and whether it will ever be enough, Troy is really open about what it is like to have to find yourself again after realising that you are no longer the underdog, and how hard it can be to offer your current self compassion.

Troy, what a pleasure.

If you’d like to watch this full episode on YouTube, follow this link - https://youtu.be/ZZm6VAq7g_o

🏆Win a set of our new Vulnerabilitea House Cards, mate! Exactly the same as the regular set, but with “mate” written on every card. Sign up here: https://bit.ly/47BpGvX

Chapters:
0:00 – An episode years in the making
7:40 – When is a time that you’ve felt ashamed?
16:21 – Reality of chronic illness
24:50 – Reality of chronic illness during a pandemic
29:53 – The positive payoff of depression
38:37 – Constantly on the rollercoaster
48:43 – When you’re no longer the Underdog
55:57 – At what point will it be enough?

🫖 Other Imperfects episodes mentioned in this episode

• Hugh & Penny - The Elephant in the Relationship - https://bit.ly/446GPeG

📺 Things to watch

• The Magic Basket - https://bit.ly/4p0R6RF
• Dr Google - https://bit.ly/4otHfnE
• Flint Town Docuseries - https://bit.ly/49TJjAK
• Fearless - https://bit.ly/444z3Su

📖 Things to read

• A New Earth, by Eckhart Tolle - https://bit.ly/4oYUrke

🩷To host your own Vulnerabilitea House, (with the new cards!) purchase here - http://bit.ly/4lyuuWz

🩵To purchase our journal (or your novel) My Imperfect Life, click here - http://bit.ly/4lyuuWz

🩵To join our patreon community, A Little More Imperfects, follow this link - http://bit.ly/4mqunxu

🩷 AND you can subscribe to A Little More Imperfects through Apple Podcasts too, here - http://bit.ly/4mq5BO5

The Imperfects is not a licensed mental health service and is not a substitute for professional mental health advice, treatment or assessment. The advice given in this episode is general in nature, but if you’re struggling, please see a healthcare professional, or call lifeline on 13 11 14.

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

🎟️ Our live show Together Again is on sale now! Tickets here - https://bit.ly/4mEK9Ep

Same. And it is the fundamental uncertainty of our health which can make this anxiety really exhausting, complicated and, well, hard, to live with.

Back in the studio with our resident psychologist Dr Emily Musgrove, we’re going to unpack this perpetual state of worry; how it’s exacerbated by our fight or flight response, how to respond when someone’s seeking assurance and how to surf the urge and sit with your discomfort.

Josh, being Josh, asks some hard hitting questions about accepting the certainty of death, and Dr Em talks through what it looks like to be so fearful of dying that it’s stopping you from living.

Of course, we don’t ever want people to stop getting checked out by a medical professional. This episode is focused on untangling what is worry, what is excessive worry, and when is it reasonable.

Dr Em, it was so great to hang out.

If you’d like to watch this full video on YouTube, follow this link -

💌Join 3,000+ people getting our takeaways and favourite moments from this episode in our weekly newsletter - http://bit.ly/45NyQDy

🫖 Other Imperfects episodes mentioned in this episode

• Bryan Brown - The Value of Being Alive - https://bit.ly/4hTxwok
• Dr Emily - Grief Lightening - https://bit.ly/3LnCmxP
• Dr Emily - The Certainty of Uncertainty - https://bit.ly/47XXcfU
• Dyson Heppell - Whatever It Takes … To Forgive - https://bit.ly/4nIym8F

🎧 Things to listen to:

• It’s Not What You Think podcast - https://bit.ly/3LnFg5K

📖 Things to read:

• The Courage To Be Disliked by Ichiro Kishimi and Fumitake Koga - https://bit.ly/3JJJnZk

🩷To host your own Vulnerabilitea House, (with the new cards!) purchase here - http://bit.ly/4lyuuWz

🩵To purchase our journal (or your novel) My Imperfect Life, click here - http://bit.ly/4lyuuWz

🩵To join our patreon community, A Little More Imperfects, follow this link - http://bit.ly/4mqunxu

🩷 AND you can subscribe to A Little More Imperfects through Apple Podcasts too, here - http://bit.ly/4mq5BO5

Chapters:
0:00 – Our fears for our health 
9:54 – Are you a hypochondriac? 
15:59 – Exacerbation of the fight / flight response 
23:08 – The difficult positions of GP’s
29:48 – Not feeding the loop
35:19 – Body checking and post-diagnosis anxiety
39:50 – Accepting the certainty of death
50:55 – First time parent fear
53:24 – Obsession with being well

The Imperfects is not a licensed mental health service and is not a substitute for professional mental health advice, treatment or assessment. The advice given in this episode is general in nature, but if you’re struggling, please see a healthcare professional, or call lifeline on 13 11 14.

See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.