Just Breathe: Parenting Your LGBTQ Teen

Join me for a heartfelt conversation that explores the journey of self-discovery and deconstruction of beliefs. My guest, Britt Sandoval, shares their transformative experiences, from navigating the challenges of parenting three daughters with a rare genetic disorder to questioning their identity in a heterosexual marriage. As they reflect on their upbringing in a traditional religious setting, they candidly discusses how pivotal moments, including the impact of COVID-19 and societal events, led them to embrace their pansexuality and challenge long-held beliefs. The episode highlights the importance of fostering open conversations about identity within families and the empowering realization that authenticity is key to personal fulfillment. Tune in as we delve into the complexities of identity, love, and the journey toward living authentically in a world full of expectations.

Takeaways:

• The journey of self-discovery often happens later in life than expected.
• Facing significant life challenges can lead to questioning beliefs and values.
• Navigating identity can be complex, especially within traditional family structures.
• Open communication about gender and sexuality is vital in modern parenting.
• Creating safe spaces for authenticity can greatly enhance interpersonal relationships.
• Deconstructing past beliefs doesn't mean discarding them; they can be rebuilt meaningfully.

Links referenced in this episode:

The latest installment of the podcast welcomes listeners to celebrate a monumental occasion: the fifth birthday of 'Just Breathe.' Heather expresses immense gratitude for the community that has rallied behind the podcast, particularly highlighting her recent recognition as the winner of the Women in Podcasting award for Best LGBTQ Podcast. The episode is infused with a sense of urgency as it approaches a critical election cycle, prompting a heartfelt reflection on the current political climate. Heather candidly shares her exhaustion from a tumultuous news cycle and the divisive atmosphere gripping the nation, articulating the stark contrasts between candidates. Through this lens, she emphasizes the importance of voting for those who advocate for the rights of marginalized communities, particularly LGBTQ individuals. The podcast shifts gears to focus on self-care amidst the chaos of political engagement. She offers ten practical suggestions, ranging from listening to calming podcasts to engaging in laughter, physical activity, and journaling, all aimed at fostering emotional wellness during tumultuous times. The conversation culminates in a gentle reminder to prioritize mental health while actively participating in the democratic process, reinforcing that one can fight for justice without sacrificing their well-being.

Takeaways:

• Self-care is essential during stressful times like election cycles, prioritize your well-being.
• Avoid obsessively checking polls as they can create unnecessary anxiety and confusion.
• Incorporate laughter into your daily routine as it significantly boosts your mood and health.
• Engage in physical activities outdoors to connect with nature and reduce stress levels.
• Make a concrete plan for voting that fits your preferences and stick to it.
• Journaling can provide clarity and help process overwhelming thoughts and emotions effectively.

Connect with Heather:

This conversation between Heather and Kelly offers a rich exploration of how our nervous systems respond to both personal and collective challenges. Kelly's insights into the biological underpinnings of stress responses illuminate why many feel overwhelmed and how the current political climate exacerbates these feelings. The discussion transitions into practical exercises, such as shaking off stress and connecting with the natural world, which are vital for re-establishing a sense of safety and stability. Kelly stresses the importance of acknowledging our body's signals and taking proactive measures to remain regulated, especially for parents and caregivers who are often on the front lines of emotional turbulence. By implementing these strategies, listeners can foster resilience not only in themselves but also in their communities, reinforcing the idea that personal well-being directly influences collective health.

Takeaways:

• Kelly Lubeck emphasizes the importance of moving our bodies to release stored stress.
• Connecting with nature can significantly help calm our nervous systems and improve well-being.
• Engaging in meaningful social connections is essential for maintaining our mental health and stability.
• Practicing breathing exercises can help alleviate anxiety and bring awareness to our bodies.
• The 'Befriend Your Body' program focuses on understanding and supporting our nervous systems effectively.
• Finding a sense of safety and comfort through visualization can help regulate our emotions.

Understanding Teen Suicide and Mental Health: Insights, Strategies, and Support

In honor of September's Suicide Prevention Awareness Month, this episode compiles powerful and actionable insights on suicide prevention, featuring personal stories from guests like Jay Reed and initiatives by people such as Kevin Wong from The Trevor Project and Ann Moss Rogers. The episode emphasizes critical themes including the importance of open conversations about mental health, actionable strategies for suicide prevention, and understanding the heightened risks faced by LGBTQ youth. It includes practical advice for parents on recognizing signs of mental distress, fostering meaningful connections with their children, and leveraging resources like crisis hotlines and peer support platforms.

00:00 Introduction to Suicide Prevention Awareness

00:27 Recurring Themes in Suicide Prevention

01:17 Important Crisis Numbers

01:59 Interview with Jay Reed: A Father's Story

06:10 The Impact of Modern Life on Teen Mental Health

10:41 The Role of Parents in Suicide Prevention

19:43 Introducing Cara McNulty: Mental Health Advocate

31:01 Jackie Simmons: The Talk That Saves Lives

41:36 Why Stay? Heather's Reasons for Living

42:44 The Power of Neuroplasticity

46:43 Introducing Kevin Wong from The Trevor Project

48:17 The Trevor Project's Mission and Programs

57:52 Advocacy and Support for LGBTQ Youth

01:01:21 Recognizing and Addressing Mental Health in LGBTQ Youth

01:07:36 Ann Moss Rogers: A Personal Journey and Advocacy

01:26:51 Creating a Crisis Response Plan

Links to Full Episode

Summary

The ACLU and Human Rights Commission are reporting a record number of anti-trans bills

proposed in the United States for the fourth consecutive year, with almost 600 in 2024 alone.

Combined with an increase in reported hate crimes and discrimination targeting the trans

community, there has never been a more critical time to educate the public and encourage

allyship.

In this conversation, Heather welcomes three extraordinary guests: Jeannie Gainsburg, Jayna Sheats, and Kate Brooks to discuss their motivations for writing their books and the importance of allyship and pronouns. Kate wrote her book to provide support and affirmation for parents of transgender children, Jeannie wrote her book to guide allies in supporting the LGBTQ+ community, and Jayna wrote her novel to humanize the transgender experience. They emphasize the need for allies to create safe spaces and educate themselves about gender identity. They also discuss the importance of using correct pronouns and normalizing the practice of sharing pronouns. The conversation covers various topics related to allyship, the upcoming election, and parenting LGBTQ+ teens. They all share personal stories and provide practical tips for taking action and supporting transgender individuals.

Takeaways

• Writing books that provide support and affirmation for transgender individuals and their families is important in creating a more inclusive society.
• Allyship is crucial in supporting the LGBTQ+ community, and allies can create safe spaces and educate themselves about gender identity.
• Using correct pronouns and normalizing the practice of sharing pronouns is a respectful and inclusive action.
• Transgender youth face unique challenges, and allyship and affirmation from parents and society can greatly impact their well-being.
• Humanizing the transgender experience through storytelling can help mitigate fear and hate towards the community. Showing allyship can be done in various ways, such as using correct pronouns and providing support and advice to others.
• Practical actions for the upcoming election include participating in postcard campaigns and sharing information through writing and speaking.
• Acceptance and affirmation are crucial for transgender children, and parents should believe and support their child's gender identity.
• Practicing pronouns and using the 'switch it' technique can help improve gender inclusivity in language.
• The conversation highlights the importance of understanding the stakes of the election and the potential impact on the LGBTQ+ community.

Chapters

00:00 Introduction and Motivations for Writing Books

07:51 The Importance of Allyship and Safe Spaces

21:31 Respecting Pronouns and Normalizing Pronoun Sharing

28:19 The Power of Pronouns and Allyship

30:41 Taking Action in the Upcoming Election

41:47 Supporting Transgender Children: Acceptance and Affirmation

47:58 Practical Tips for Gender Inclusive Language

50:35 Understanding the Stakes: The Impact of the Election on the LGBTQ+ Community

Bios

Authors/Activists/Mothers Jayna Sheats, a trans woman, Jeannie Gainsburg, an LGBTQ+ ally,

and Kate Brookes, parent of a trans teenager, are teaming up to share their message of

acceptance and increase understanding of the issues facing the trans community. Sheats,

Gainsburg, and Brookes say anger and hate often disguise fear of the trans community. By

sharing their stories and offering best-practice tips for support, they hope to counter the

discrimination, help humanize the trans experience, and encourage all people to become allies.

Jayna Sheats (she/her) is the author of Hanna’s Ascent. She is also a noted chemist and

entrepreneur, who has published over 60 articles and started 3 companies. Today she lives in

Northern California with her children.

Jeannie Gainsburg (she/her) is the founder of Savvy Ally Action and is an award-winning

educational trainer and consultant in LGBTQ+ inclusion and allyship. The second edition of her

book, The Savvy Ally: A Guide for Becoming a Skilled LGBTQ+ Advocate, is now available.

Jeannie lives with her husband in Upstate New York.

Kate Brookes (she/her) is a former TV reporter/anchor turned writer/producer/filmmaker. Her

memoir, Transister: Raising Twins in a Gender-Bending World, was published last summer.

These days she produces videos for non-profits and speaks to schools, hospitals and groups

about raising a trans child.

Links Mentioned