Feeding The Mouth That Bites You: Parenting Teens Into Adulthood

How much freedom should parents actually give their teenagers? Doing their own laundry. Choosing what they wear. Picking their friends. Dating someone you’re not crazy about. Spending their own money. And yes… even tattoos and piercings. This week, Dr. Ken Wilgus and Cynthia Yanof are back for Part 2 of their conversation about reasonable expectations—and what it really looks like to “hand the bar over” as kids get older. They cover laundry and appearance, tattoos and piercings, friendships and dating, money, and honesty—along with the bigger question underneath all of it: When should parents step in, and when is it time to let go? Cynthia also has to rethink her longtime “no tattoos on our payroll” policy, and Dr. Ken talks about why teens sometimes need room to make their own decisions and experience the outcome. If you’ve ever wondered whether you’re letting go too much—or still trying to control too much—this episode is for you. If you have a minute, please leave us a review. We love hearing listeners encouraging other listeners. You can order Dr. Ken's book "Feeding The Mouth That Bites You" here You can order Cynthia's book "Life Is Messy, God Is Good" here You can pre-order Cynthia's book "How'd I Miss That" here Got questions or feedback? We want to hear from you! [email protected] Music provided by the great John David Kent - https://www.johndavidkent.com/ Our Sponsors: * Check out Amazing Generation: https://www.penguinrandomhouse.com Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

How much should parents actually expect from their teenagers? Good grades. A clean room. Trying hard in sports. Going to church. Being grateful. Making good choices. And preferably doing all of it with a great attitude. 😂 This week, Dr. Ken Wilgus and Cynthia Yanof are talking about unrealistic expectations—and whether giving teens more independence means parents are somehow lowering the bar. Spoiler alert: Dr. Ken says parents aren’t necessarily lowering the bar. They’re handing the bar over to their teen. They cover grades, sports and activities, church and faith, and even gratitude—along with why constantly managing kids toward success can sometimes backfire when those kids eventually leave home and have to manage life for themselves. And yes, somewhere in there Cynthia tells the story of discovering ants in her child’s bed thanks to an entire summer’s worth of secret snacks. So clearly, they are not advocating for zero expectations. And stay tuned—there are plenty more expectations to tackle, next week on Part 2 they will cover things like money, laundry, friends and dating, honesty, clothes, tattoos, piercings, and more. If you have a minute, please leave us a review. We love hearing listeners encouraging other listeners. You can order Dr. Ken's book "Feeding The Mouth That Bites You" here You can order Cynthia's book "Life Is Messy, God Is Good" here You can pre-order Cynthia's book "How'd I Miss That" here Got questions or feedback? We want to hear from you! [email protected] Music provided by the great John David Kent - https://www.johndavidkent.com/ Our Sponsors: * Check out Amazing Generation: https://www.penguinrandomhouse.com Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Meta is rolling out major new restrictions for users under 18 on Instagram and Facebook, and Dr. Ken was fired up enough about it that we interrupted our Parenting Pitfalls series to talk about it. After comparing our own slightly horrifying screen-time numbers, we dig into the new limits on usage, overnight access, notifications, like counts, age verification, filters, and parental supervision. But the bigger question is what parents do with all of this. Dr. Ken explains why these changes give parents some much-needed backup when it comes to setting limits—and why they also create a great opening for better conversations with our kids. Because for the first time, it’s not just parents saying social media might be too much. Meta is saying it too. If you have a minute, please leave us a review. We love hearing listeners encouraging other listeners. You can order Dr. Ken's book "Feeding The Mouth That Bites You" here You can order Cynthia's book "Life Is Messy, God Is Good" here You can pre-order Cynthia's book "How'd I Miss That" here Got questions or feedback? We want to hear from you! [email protected] Music provided by the great John David Kent - https://www.johndavidkent.com/ Our Sponsors: * Check out Amazing Generation: https://www.penguinrandomhouse.com Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Dr. Ken and Cynthia are back with another Parenting Pitfall: are we too available for our teens? Being involved and willing to help feels like good parenting, but at some point, always being available can keep our kids from learning to handle things themselves. From making appointments and managing schedules to stepping in with teachers, coaches, and even employers, Dr. Ken and Cynthia talk about why parents need to become less available as their kids get older. They also dig into the harder question: do we keep doing too much because we still want to feel needed? It’s a practical look at how our availability today can impact our teen’s independence tomorrow. If you have a minute, please leave us a review. We love hearing listeners encouraging other listeners. You can order Dr. Ken's book "Feeding The Mouth That Bites You" here You can order Cynthia's book "Life Is Messy, God Is Good" here You can pre-order Cynthia's book "How'd I Miss That" here Got questions or feedback? We want to hear from you! [email protected] Music provided by the great John David Kent - https://www.johndavidkent.com/ Our Sponsors: * Check out Amazing Generation: https://www.penguinrandomhouse.com Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy

Dr. Ken and Cynthia are tackling one of the easiest parenting traps to fall into: nagging. When does a helpful reminder become something that’s actually keeping our teens from taking responsibility for themselves? They talk through chores, school, jobs, college applications, executive functioning struggles, and why sometimes the best thing we can do is stop being our kid’s personal reminder system. Plus, Dr. Ken explains why holding boundaries—even when your teen is mad about it—doesn’t damage the relationship. Turns out, they can be annoyed with us now and still want to come home when they’re grown adults. If you have a minute, please leave us a review. We love hearing listeners encouraging other listeners. You can order Dr. Ken's book "Feeding The Mouth That Bites You" here You can order Cynthia's book "Life Is Messy, God Is Good" here You can pre-order Cynthia's book "How'd I Miss That" here Got questions or feedback? We want to hear from you! [email protected] Music provided by the great John David Kent - https://www.johndavidkent.com/ Our Sponsors: * Check out Amazing Generation: https://www.penguinrandomhouse.com Advertising Inquiries: https://redcircle.com/brands Privacy & Opt-Out: https://redcircle.com/privacy