Let’s get one thing straight: women are not bad at negotiating. They’re doing it just as often—if not more—but getting worse outcomes. So no, the wage gap isn’t because women just need to “ask better.” That’s lazy advice… and frankly, bullshit.

In this episode, negotiation expert Attia Qureshi—founder of Atiya Qureshi Consulting, co-author of Never Settle, and trained in FBI-informed negotiation strategies—breaks down the uncomfortable truth: women are playing a game that wasn’t designed for them to win the same way men do. Same words, same ask… wildly different outcomes. And she’s not here with fluff—she’s here with strategies that actually work. 

Because here’s the deal: opting out of negotiation doesn’t protect you—it guarantees you get less.


What We Cover:


  
Why women are negotiating just as much—but still losing



  
The double bind: too nice = weak, too assertive = “difficult”



  
The internal negotiation happening in your own head



  
Why relationships matter more than you think (yes, it’s annoying, but it’s real)



  
How to use data as your secret weapon without triggering defensiveness



  
The “we strategy” that helps women get better outcomes (even if it feels unfair)



  
Why over-preparing can actually screw you over



  
How to handle rejection and turn a “no” into a “not yet”




At the end of the day, negotiation isn’t about becoming someone you’re not. It’s about learning how to advocate for yourself in a system that doesn’t always reward you for it—and doing it anyway. Because you don’t get what you deserve. You get what you’re willing to ask for—and hold your ground on.



Thank you to our sponsors!

Visit Upwork.com right now and post your job for free!

Families are better when they’re working together… go to myskylight.com/WOMANSWORK for $30 off your Skylight Calendar.

Become a Fora Advisor today at Foratravel.com/woman 

Connect with Attia:

Website: https://www.attiaqureshi.com 

Book: https://www.amazon.com/Never-Settle-Persuasion-Negotiation-Skills/dp/1668070375 

LI: https://www.linkedin.com/in/attiaq/ 

IG: https://www.instagram.com/attiaq/ 

Substack: https://substack.com/@attiaqureshi 


Related Podcast Episodes:


  The 3 N’s - Negotiation, Networking & No with Kathryn Valentine | 327

  Be A Likeable Badass with Alison Fragale | 230

  162 / Compensation Myths with Kelli Thompson


If you found this episode insightful, please share it with a friend, tag us on social media, and leave a review on your favorite podcast platform!

🔗 Subscribe & Review:Apple Podcasts | Spotify | Amazon Music | YouTube
Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

This Is Woman's Work with Nicole Kalil

Nicole Kalil + Airwave Media

Same Ask, Different Outcome: The Double Standard in Negotiation with Attia Qureshi | 411

MAY 13, 202640 MIN
This Is Woman's Work with Nicole Kalil

Same Ask, Different Outcome: The Double Standard in Negotiation with Attia Qureshi | 411

MAY 13, 202640 MIN

Description

Let’s get one thing straight: women are not bad at negotiating. They’re doing it just as often—if not more—but getting worse outcomes. So no, the wage gap isn’t because women just need to “ask better.” That’s lazy advice… and frankly, bullshit. In this episode, negotiation expert Attia Qureshi—founder of Atiya Qureshi Consulting, co-author of Never Settle, and trained in FBI-informed negotiation strategies—breaks down the uncomfortable truth: women are playing a game that wasn’t designed for them to win the same way men do. Same words, same ask… wildly different outcomes. And she’s not here with fluff—she’s here with strategies that actually work.  Because here’s the deal: opting out of negotiation doesn’t protect you—it guarantees you get less. What We Cover: Why women are negotiating just as much—but still losing The double bind: too nice = weak, too assertive = “difficult” The internal negotiation happening in your own head Why relationships matter more than you think (yes, it’s annoying, but it’s real) How to use data as your secret weapon without triggering defensiveness The “we strategy” that helps women get better outcomes (even if it feels unfair) Why over-preparing can actually screw you over How to handle rejection and turn a “no” into a “not yet” At the end of the day, negotiation isn’t about becoming someone you’re not. It’s about learning how to advocate for yourself in a system that doesn’t always reward you for it—and doing it anyway. Because you don’t get what you deserve. You get what you’re willing to ask for—and hold your ground on. Thank you to our sponsors! Visit Upwork.com right now and post your job for free! Families are better when they’re working together… go to myskylight.com/WOMANSWORK for $30 off your Skylight Calendar. Become a Fora Advisor today at Foratravel.com/woman  Connect with Attia: Website: https://www.attiaqureshi.com  Book: https://www.amazon.com/Never-Settle-Persuasion-Negotiation-Skills/dp/1668070375  LI: https://www.linkedin.com/in/attiaq/  IG: https://www.instagram.com/attiaq/  Substack: https://substack.com/@attiaqureshi  Related Podcast Episodes: The 3 N’s - Negotiation, Networking & No with Kathryn Valentine | 327 Be A Likeable Badass with Alison Fragale | 230 162 / Compensation Myths with Kelli Thompson If you found this episode insightful, please share it with a friend, tag us on social media, and leave a review on your favorite podcast platform! 🔗 Subscribe & Review:Apple Podcasts | Spotify | Amazon Music | YouTube Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices