Neelam Brar Launches The Mind My Age Podcast
Hey, I'd like to welcome you to another episode of Mission Matters. My name is Adam Torres, and if you'd like to apply to be a guest in the show, just head on over to MissionMatters. com and click on Be Our Guest to Apply. Alright, so today is a very special episode. We have Neelam Brar, who's founder of Total Life Therapy. Neelam, welcome. Welcome to the show. Thank you, Adam. Great to be here. All right. So I like that you said that, by the way. Great to have you, Neelam, because you are, we're announcing the launch of your new show. So we're going to get into that. And you're normally telling your guests, Hey, great, great to have you because now you are behind the microphone. So I'm going to, we're going to get into that. And I also want to talk about the work that you're doing over at Total Life Therapy, of course. But before we do that we'll start this episode the way that we start them all. All right. with what we like to call our mission matters minute. So a mission matters. Our aim and our goal is to amplify stories for entrepreneurs, executives and experts. That's our mission. Neelam, what mission matters to you? So the mission that I'm really focused on these days is helping older adults get access to support online. That is both affordable and accessible with a large and growing aging population across the US and Canada. It's imperative that we find ways to keep mom, dad, grandpa, grandma, young, healthy, vibrant, physically fit, and that all starts with a strong mind and a strong outlook. And so, I started a company called Total Life where we actually focus on getting seniors or older adults access to therapy and support to help them navigate the challenges of aging, the challenges of life, and the big transitions that occur after you turn 65, from retirement to loss to maybe moving or downsizing. These are really big shifts. And it's my mission to ensure that people enjoy those transitions and find a way to be positive and, and enjoy the rest of their life. Amazing. It's a great mission. And actually, I was thinking about you and your podcast recently when I went to go see my mom. So she lives in Florida and she's in one of those you know, where, you know, People go to Florida to, to retire and to and to grow old and happy. I like to say, so she's over there and we're kind of talking a little bit about this. And, and, you know, I'm obviously she's going through her normal processes and challenges of growing older. And and I started thinking about. Some of your content, and it got me to thinking, when did you originally start focusing on like that, on that niche or really on that, on that challenge and helping and, and start focusing on aging, like, where did that come from for you? You know, it's interesting. Cause I, I turned 45 this year and I'm proud of that. I think far too often we're all ashamed of like getting older, especially as women. And it did cause me some pause. And. Possibly a little bit of anxiety that like, you know, there are certain things in life now that might not be possible and That's that started to form a negative mindset for me And I realized that it's it's all about how we train our minds to think about Where we are in life I'm sure there's a few things in life that I won't be able to, some of them are pretty, pretty significant but there's so many things that I can now do because I have 45 years of experience and wisdom, knowledge that will guide me for the next. 65 years possibly and science is going the way it is, maybe a hundred more years. It really, I started to kind of understand that power of your mind to influence both your health, your inner wellness, and as well as your future opportunities. In addition to that, what drove me to start Total Life. Is that during COVID, I moved home back in with the parents and it was beautiful to spend time with my parents. I'd been, you know, traveling and working for about 20 years, right after college, I left the house. And, It's coming back as a older child. I suddenly found myself really helping mom and dad navigate some really critical challenges. My mother went through a number of major surgeries, they were really difficult. The recovery was hard and she really struggled. It's very hard. Common for older adults once they get discharged from a hospital to be readmitted because of depression, anxiety, inability to take you know, do their care plan day to day. And it's a really high statistic that can actually be reduced by just providing support. And thankfully I was home and my siblings were home to help mom navigate that. But the reality is most of the time we're not around our parents. And if we can be there provide services that can reach them in a way that they can access them and afford them. Right. We can have a huge impact on keeping our loved ones healthier and happier as they age. In parallel, my father about a year in 2021 decided to retire and that transition was a huge blow to his confidence. He didn't transition with a plan. It's just something that now I, I tell, you know, we, we've developed programs at Total Life that help people think about the plan, the purpose, what you're going to be doing after retirement, what your, what a day looks like that you'd be proud of you know, what is going to define you and, and all of these things really matter because when you leave a job you've been doing for 60 years that you've been proud of that you locked your identity into it's really difficult to then rediscover yourself. Yeah. It, it seems exciting. Dad was super excited. Had like five ideas of what he was going to do. And as time went by. Some of the ideas didn't work out, some of them weren't possible, and I just started seeing a man losing himself. And again, I tried my best to help. And I was there, and I saw it, so we were able to help him find new activities, and he's very self motivated, which is great, like, wakes up, keeps a routine, meditates, and, and takes care of his diet and health. I'm really lucky that way, but Ultimately, all of us need a coach and therapy can help be that coach both to help you discover why you do certain things, you know, what lifetime of experience or you know, events have caused you to react certain ways, but also help you, you know, develop better habits for how you're going to handle them going into the future. And so that's really my mission around total life therapy. It was really, you know, I, I launched it because I saw that mom and dad could have used it had it existed then. And I wanted to kind of make sure that our future and the one for everybody turning 65 here on in a right you know, a fair shake at enjoying their golden years. It's interesting that you bring up that, that concept of that transition into retirement or change of life like that. I still remember when my mom, when she originally retired, she's been retired for a bit now, but when she originally retired, all these weird things started happening. She'd get in these like little hours. accidents or just other things like her mind just kind of wasn't the same. She was readjusting to a new lifestyle. When I think about that and not everybody necessarily knowing how to help her or to cope with that or to transition something like total life therapy and what you're doing, it's kind of like almost provides a roadmap. For, you know, or a framework, I should say for some, for some challenges that are ahead that many times the family doesn't even know, like, are going to exist. Am I off on that? Or there is absolutely nobody preparing us for this. And we take it for granted. We think, oh, our retirement should be celebrated. But really, you need a plan. You need an entire set of tools in your tool belt to ensure that when like the music stops and you're like, just sitting there going, What do I do with my day? You have things you've thought about it, right? Because otherwise, It's easy to think you're in control and you're, you're, you know, you're loving retirement before you know it. You've lost your sense of self, you're sleeping in, you're not eating well, you have no routine and you're spiraling in terms of your physical health, which then impacts your mental health, which then impacts your physical health, and you're in this, not in a good state. So our goal is really like, and this is with any transition, right? Any transition you need to go in with With understanding it's a change. Being intentional about how you're going to handle that change. Being willing to do the work. Put the time in. Build new habits. And stay disciplined. Even retirement should have discipline. It doesn't mean you can do whatever you want every day for the rest of your life. That eventually gets old. You need purpose. Now, when did you know, so lots of people obviously want to help their parents and other things like that. When did you know this was going to be a business? Like when did the entrepreneurial side of you, like when did that part kind of like trigger? Cause that's interesting to me. When, when did that happen? You know, the entrepreneurial part got triggered because one fine day I was helping my mom change all of her surgery band aids and it was, Brutal. And I applaud the nurses out there. Oh yeah. The work you do is so tough and I kind of, you know, as I was doing this, I am, you know, my mom's daughter, my mom knows all the buttons to push , dial me up and that out to the mom's out there, they know how to do it. I wasn't changing the bandaids the right way, not how the nurse does it. She was really just getting to me and I was like, mom, please just. Like, let me finish what I, what I'm doing. And I, and I finished and I got out of the room and I just went to my computer and I put my head down and I was like, this can't be my future to get. Let me start a business to fix this right now. Okay. Great founder story. My mom pushed my buttons and I started it. Cause this is not, Oh, I'm crying over here. So I yeah, I, I went to my computer and I thought, God, you know, I was also at the same time I joined a bunch of caregiver groups on Facebook. And cause I was looking at what my mom the surgery my mother had and just had to take care of her and how to help her. And one of the things that I was realizing was, that, you know, helping mom stay mentally positive light at the end of this tunnel would help her recover. Right. And we know this is true because, you know, it's, it's It's, you know, well, well, evidence that even the placebo effect has, has an impact on your ability to recover because you think your mind can actually, you can will yourself to feeling better if you think that you're receiving medicine, even though you're not. So in the same aspect, I started looking at like, how can I motivate my mom to feel like this is. You know, this too shall pass and we can get through this. And she had an ileostomy for those of you listening, like a difficult surgery and generally asked me bags. Sorry. And she felt like this was the end of life. Like she couldn't, she couldn't deal. And I, every day I'd have like a new story that I was finding out online of like somebody who got married in that process or went swimming in that process. And I was like, mom, people live their lives. Normally, too. And I realized like what would have helped mom is if she was part of like maybe a circle of people that were going through the same. Wow. If she would have been able to connect with other people that were feeling as hopeless as she was, or like, or were approaching that differently. They could have shared their stress, anxiety, maybe inspired one another, right? Because the biggest problem when people are going through recovery is like everybody else around them doesn't understand how they're feeling. Right. Yeah. Or that's what they think. And so it's really tough for you to convince them that you can relate. And so anyways, I, I was actually looking for like, support for mom through that process and realized there is like, where do you start, right? If you look up therapy for Mom, you're gonna end up with a lot of therapists, but many of them won't take the insurance. And many of them might not be. Focused on seniors and aging and all their issues and I don't think just like we have geriatricians in the primary care space I think having focused therapy for Supporting our aging parents is a really necessary service out there. And when I realized it doesn't exist Imagine right like it just didn't exist. So I decided let's create it. Wow. So you you have this idea You're sitting there you get you finally you think you're gonna move you're gonna move forward like what's the next step? How do you like in health care and therapy and all this like it's not easy to enter that market It's not easy to like get your idea out there. Like what was the next step there? Like how do you make this vision or dream a reality? Yeah. I mean, isn't, isn't that the Steve Jobs commercial about the crazy ones? Yeah. I think I'm one of them, right? Like healthcare is a very complicated, highly regulated industry, especially in the U S and I chose to do probably one of the hardest things ever, which was launch a company that immediately day one takes insurance. Yeah. And several people tell me that, that, that's. It's kind of like a double whammy on being difficult and, and I thought to myself, like when somebody turns 65, they're on Medicare and you know, they're relying on their retirement checks. And if anyone is like my mom and dad, the first thing they're going to do is like not spend the money. Right. Right. On themselves. Of course. Of course. And they're going to just kind of suck it up and continue living life and soldier on. Cause that's, that's the boomer generation, right? They looked out for us and they put themselves second. And so I thought if we're going to start a company that talks about supporting providing much needed coaching and, and, you know, shoulder to lean on. This is a generation that will be first to say no, if it costs anything. And so I wanted to ensure that we made it affordable and made it that money and cost was no barrier to getting access. And so day one, we figured out how to work with Medicare, which is a huge, A huge amount of time and energy and resources that have gone in to be able to do that and give people the peace of mind that, you know, we've checked your insurance you do have coverage we can start you with a therapist within seven days. And so, which leads me to the second value proposition, which is around convenience and accessibility. Today, across the U. S. If an older adult wants to see a therapist on their insurance, they're looking at three to six to nine month wait lists. Hmm. And it's very significant and you know, if you're feeling like an imminent crisis or you've just lost somebody who is close to you or you've been diagnosed with a disease or discharged from a hospital, you can't wait six months. You need support today you need kind of somebody helping you get through those days helping you redefine your normal. Stay on that, stay on that new track. And, and I thought like, you know, it was a problem. There was a really large market and And I knew that we, we should be able to do better if we apply ourselves to it. And so we've been three years in, I'm really proud to say we've served thousands of seniors across the U. S. We've done over, you know, we've done many thousand sessions. And most importantly, it works. Folks are availing our services, they're improving their health. They're feeling better. It's really rewarding to be building a company that is actually making an impact on people's lives. It definitely makes the hard work worth it. And all of the. Speed bumps we've hit along the way. Worth it as well. That's amazing It's an amazing story neelam and I want to jump a bit here. So You're a brand new podcaster. Anybody goes to missionmatters. com apple a spotify Otherwise the mind my age podcast. All right, so When I first heard the concept what I thought First heard what you were going to be doing. And then when I saw the cover, I saw the content start coming out and I listened to some of the, the, the conversations I'm like, you're the same way that you pioneered, in my opinion, and in the therapy space, now, when I look at the podcasting space, I don't see any other shows like yours for the audience that has not listened to an episode yet, what, let's just start kind of from the beginning there. What was your vision originally for the show? Yes, and thank you for all of those nice compliments. So sweet. I was nervous about starting a podcast as I get older I feel like I want to be the one listening in the corner not not on stage anymore I guess me too, by the way But shirag the other co founder for those that are watching I always talk about him shirag won't let me so I still gotta do this. Go ahead. Neelam. We're in the same boat. Leave it. Leave us alone. No, go, please So it's been nice. I gotta say it's been one of the things I look forward to now, so i'm glad i did Took the leap. The vision behind Mind My Age really came from the work we were doing at Total Life and the work I was doing personally navigating, you know, my midlife crisis, really, which was there is such an impact your state of mind and your mental fitness can have on your overall health and your outlook for life. Both of which can actually have a significant impact on your physical age, right? Like, on, on the fact that I'm 45, but I, I, I know I act much younger and I feel much younger. And I think that's because my mindset is younger. And I don't mean younger is better than older. What I mean to say is like, it's health and healthier. To feel like I can, you know, go for a really, really long amount of time doing exercise or taking a impromptu trip around the world or just going dancing late at night. Right? Like, I don't, I don't think there is anything that one should say they can't do because of an age. Hmm. And it frustrates me when I hear people say, I'm too old for this. Or, that's what I used to do when I was this age. We have options, we have choices but that shouldn't be a cop out. Like, age should not stop you from anything. If you want to pick up a new hobby, if you want to learn something, if you want to change your life, you want to start a company you want to run a marathon, Age should not be a barrier and, and that's the only way to ensure that that's the case is to have a really strong outlook and control of your mind and your thoughts and be able to actually influence your mind into doing those things, right? And so it's like you control your mind and, and the idea of your mind controlling your age was something that I really liked. As a concept and so now now you're on the other side of the of the mic So to speak like now you are or just the situation So you're you're you're now the one asking the questions as opposed to being asked them and being interviewed What's that like for you? Are you like are you having fun? Asking or being interviewed? Yeah being the host being the host you're in this new. It's a new position. It's a new role Are you having fun? I am having fun. You know, it's it's almost like you get to be a student And For an hour every day, every time I do a podcast, I'm there having amazing doctors, scientists, researchers, really fun and inspiring everyday people tell me about their life. And that's such a privilege. It's a privilege to have somebody take an hour out of their time and share it with you. I, I walk away a little smarter, a little bit more, you know, Intrigued about certain things. I should be applying into my life. Yeah I learned something that I can make a difference in mom and dad's life And so I love it like there's nothing else I would be doing with my time other than running total life therapy and Developing my my age like these are the two things if I could have written what I want to do for the rest of my life being in health and wellness was The goal early days I took a deviant deviation in investment banking and all of those things and i'm back on the goal I think what you said there i'm going to draw that out a little bit and as you mentioned you get to be a student Every day or whenever you're doing the episode That's how I know you're doing it Right, like whenever somebody asks me they want to launch a show or something else and they ask me like if they think they'd be A good fit I ask them do they like to learn like what like do they want to do? They want to continue to learn do they want to put themselves in that store? role or that student seat. And if they want that, then anybody, in my opinion, can go down the podcasting route because then it just becomes fun. It's kind of like, I like to think of it as you get to talk to the primary source and you get to ask them questions. It's a, you know, free consulting, right? There you go. There are so many interesting people out there and the whole health and wellness longevity space is. I think still nascent. It's yet to explode. There are so much new, so much new studies and, and findings that are coming out of out globally that, that are going to impact how we age, that I'm really excited to be in this field. And while I'm not a doctor myself, I think I can be a distribution channel for good quality content for people to access. Yeah, it's amazing. Well, Neelam first off, it's just, it's been a lot of fun having you on the show today, learning more about, of course, Total Life Therapy Mind My Age podcast for anybody that's watching or listening to this, definitely go there'll be a link in the show notes so you can subscribe, of course, but definitely go check it out. And Neelam, if somebody wants to follow up and learn more about Total Life Therapy how do they do that? So folks, you can visit TotalLife. com and sign up on the website. The nice thing is you can, you know, immediately find out whether or not your insurance covers therapy and be in a session with a therapist within a week. So it's very quick and easy to use. Yeah. Or you can call us at 1 800 567 LIFE. Which is 5433. Our team is standing by and can help you verify your coverage and book a session with a therapist that's been handpicked for you to help you feel better and live your best life. That's great. And for everybody watching again or listening to this, we'll put all those links in the show notes so you can just click on them and head right on over. And speaking of the audience, if this is your first time with Mission Matters and you haven't hit the subscribe or follow button yet, we welcome you to do so. This is a daily show each and every day. We're bringing you new content, new ideas, and hopefully new inspiration to help you along the way in your journey as well. So definitely hit that subscribe or follow button and we'll catch you next time and Neelam again, thank you so much for coming on. There's been a lot of fun. Thank you, Adam.
