Do You F*cking Mind?

Feeling lost, stuck people-pleasing, or like you’re living the 'wrong' version of your life? In this encore episode, I break down what your authentic self really means, the psychology of self-conflict and self-discrepancy theory, and how living authentically boosts your self-esteem, confidence and resilience. Too much choice can leave you paralysed, and the pressure to please family, friends and society can pull you far from who you really are. This episode gives you practical mindset tools and journal prompts to reconnect with your true self. Top takeaways: What your authentic self is: knowing your values, morals and what you actually want, and why it keeps evolving The freedom test: a simple exercise that shows whether you’re living on your own terms Self-conflict vs self-inconsistency: why abandoning yourself to please others destroys fulfilment Self-discrepancy theory: your actual self, ideal self and “ought” self, and how the gap between them creates anxiety Real vs false responsibilities: how to stop carrying other people’s expectations The research: how authenticity is linked to resilience, trauma recovery, self-esteem and lower stress, anxiety and depression Your job is not your identity: why you don’t need to find your passion in your career Signs of an authentic person: no comparison, no competing for validation, and being able to laugh at mistakes Journal prompts: questions to audit where you’re people-pleasing, fitting in or being inconsistent Dealing with judgement: how to respond when people comment on the new you See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Is fear keeping your life small? Learn the difference between good and bad fear, how to stop spiralling, and why irreversible decisions make you happier. Key takeaways Good fear versus bad fear: short-term stress can improve performance. Fear, anxiety and excitement use similar brain circuitry and feel similar in the body. So you can reframe nerves as excitement, or burn off anxious energy with quick exercise. Fear becomes harmful when it’s chronic and stops you from acting. Fears grow bigger because the brain rewrites memories each time you recall them. Each time you revisit a fear, you add emotion and context to the memory. Big life changes, like becoming a parent, can also make old fears feel bigger. Name the fear to stop the spiral. Spiralling happens when anxious thoughts keep pulling in similar thoughts. Naming the feeling, ideally out loud, pinpointing its cause and offering yourself a more neutral counter-thought brings your prefrontal cortex back online. Fear of being alone, disappointing your parents or being judged often keeps you stuck. Learning to enjoy your own company makes you less controlling in relationships. Your parents’ disappointment is often about the story they imagined for you, not about you. People will talk when you change, but they’ll move on quickly. Irreversible decisions often make people happier. In the study I describe, people who couldn’t change their choice of photo print were more satisfied than those who could swap. Committing helps you go all in. Useful anchors include a non-refundable flight or a paid deposit. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

Bonjour and welcome to your head noise episode! Today I am covering 3 questions. From overcoming the doubt that arrises in your 20s and fear of not doing enough, to dealing with pain and anxiety from past experiences and how to not relive that same pain in the future, and lastly, a listeners husband who has cheated on her on grindr. If you would like to submit your questions, email [email protected] or go to www.dyfmpod.com to submit you voice note! See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

What if success is a brain pattern you can train? Learn how your prefrontal cortex, basal ganglia and dopamine turn goals into habits that actually stick. Key takeaways Success is a trainable brain pattern. The corticostriatal loop links the prefrontal cortex (planning and goal-setting) with the basal ganglia (habits and doing). The stronger that link, the easier it is to follow through on your goals. Motivation from enjoying the process outlasts motivation from rewards. Dopamine reinforces behaviour that feels rewarding while you do it. That’s why goals with small, visible wins (like training for a half marathon) last longer than vague ones like “lose weight.” Specific goals with an emotion attached stick better. Define success in each part of your life (relationships, career, health) and name the feeling behind it, such as security, freedom or calm. Emotion drives motion and helps your brain rewire itself. Exercise and impulse control strengthen the brain networks behind goals. HIIT raises BDNF (brain-derived neurotrophic factor). Agility drills, learning new skills, resisting impulses and lowering stress all improve how well these brain regions work together. Happy mind, happy grind: automate your habits to avoid burnout. Good sleep, calm relationships and steady routines let the basal ganglia take over repeated tasks. That frees up your prefrontal cortex for creative work and decisions. Thank you for tuning in! See you next week. Alexis See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.

This episode is one of my most loved from the archives. In this episode, I am sharing with you a 30-day challenge that you can RELATIVELY EASILY implement to change your life... (within reason). This challenge is designed to increase awareness, rewrite and visualize, create energy shifters, and change small routines. By following these simple yet powerful steps, it can help you break away from negative patterns and begin creating more of a growth mindset. The challenge is broken down into four components: increasing awareness, rewriting and visualizing, creating energy shifters, and changing the bedtime routine. If you're ready to start making some changes, tune in to this episode to learn more. See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.