The Divorce Course Podcast

🎧 Listen to this episode if… You're worried your custody or property case might end up eventually in court. You are preparing for Family Court or worried your case might escalate You want to avoid mistakes that judges hate seeing in parenting or property matters You're dealing with a high-conflict ex or coercive control You're self-represented and want to understand what the court looks for You want to protect your credibility and stay child-focused You feel overwhelmed and want to understand how to present better in court You want to understand how Family Court judges make decisions If you're going through separation, divorce, or a parenting dispute in Australia, this episode will help you avoid the most common mistakes people make in the Family Court. These insights can make or break your credibility, influence parenting outcomes, and help you stay calm and strategic throughout the legal process. In this episode, we unpack 10 behaviours that can ruin your case — the things that damage cases, frustrate judges, increase legal costs, and affect how your evidence is viewed. Whether you're self-represented, considering mediation, managing a high-conflict ex, or worried about how your actions may be interpreted, this conversation will give you clarity on what the court expects from parents. Learn how to stay child-focused, how to avoid actions that look like parental alienation, how to communicate effectively, how to avoid sabotaging your own case, and why honesty, disclosure, and consistency matter so much. If you're feeling overwhelmed, emotional, or stuck in conflict, this episode offers guidance to help you stay grounded and organised. LEGAL DISCLAIMER: This episode contains general discussion only this is not legal advice please always get independent legal advice as each situation is different. Trigger Warning: This episode has some discussions of family violence. ⏱️ Episode Timeline 00:00 – Introduction: How to Avoid Mistakes That Hurt Your Family Court Case Overview of the most common behaviours that weaken parenting and property cases. 02:07 – Why Judges Prioritise Child-Focused Parenting in Family Court Understanding how child welfare drives decisions and how to demonstrate it clearly. 06:36 – Keeping Emotions Out of Family Court: What Judges Look For Why emotional reactions, venting and accusations can damage your credibility. 13:26 – Presenting Evidence Properly: What Counts in Family Court How to gather, organise and present evidence that the court will actually rely on. 16:59 – The Serious Consequences of Lying or Exaggerating in Court How dishonesty can destroy your case and impact parenting or property outcomes. 21:27 – Disclosure Rules in Property Settlement: What You MUST Provide Explaining financial disclosure obligations and what happens if you don't comply. 25:26 – Following Court Orders and Deadlines: Why Timing Matters How delays, missed tasks or ignoring directions reflect poorly on your case. 25:58 – Understanding Family Court Practice Directions (CPD Requirements) What the Central Practice Direction means for your behaviour and preparation. 28:40 – Narrowing the Issues Before Court: What Judges Expect You to Do Why bringing every problem to court backfires and how to refine your case. 33:19 – Avoiding Behaviour That Looks Like Parental Alienation How to protect your children and yourself without appearing to obstruct the other parent. 39:43 – Acting Reasonably in Family Court: How It Influences Outcomes Examples of unreasonable behaviour and why judges pay close attention to it. 42:03 – Courtroom Etiquette, Presentation and Final Takeaways How to conduct yourself, communicate effectively, and stay credible throughout your case. 🔗 Links & Resources Free Webinar https://www.thedivorcecourse.com.au/divorcewebinarregistration The Divorce Course Website – Courses & Support www.thedivorcecourse.com.au 1800 RESPECT – 1800 737 732 Lifeline – 13 11 14 Dealing with Narc Lies in court https://open.spotify.com/episode/5SdkXhj3vC2tfO3gDdkM6y?si=P-fwZYVSQxO7JnVs5yYJdw When your ex lies in court https://open.spotify.com/episode/2OpAGxXfx78iAO81TMPPxJ?si=wcN-tRFdSaSjGLU51fmV7w Overcoming disclosure delays https://open.spotify.com/episode/0uOO8dKYV4NWlCfyu8FZEh?si=PI-J7YtGTb6pFRKGa7KjdA Disclosure Deadlocks https://open.spotify.com/episode/2yrShRhq4jcGVuVDN6Jq6C?si=ZFmAHXmAT1-JS0neHjsDHQ Is your ex hiding assets https://open.spotify.com/episode/4KbgLRFXB9r2rCz3vycZ98?si=nKf11LeYS_66Uzn003Ydug Central Practice Directions https://www.fcfcoa.gov.au/fl/pd/fam-cpd False Accusations of Parental Alienation https://open.spotify.com/episode/0l9L5SDovV515EU4H5gpIf?si=jNYKY5cBTCatIXZpEHXisQ Handover Hell https://open.spotify.com/episode/6Pskjns3vZkLyv9FCefvxm?si=UrHDcaRBTwuKpnVmWty-qA Family Reports https://open.spotify.com/episode/4k2Z4glD8WpY4dsqz6vn5Y?si=MMj_I2N5RlaT_5flBfZjMQ Court Etiquette https://open.spotify.com/episode/0JOwxZOGxT182UOp8iqd8z?si=8ib6y9qLRvuD5n8AO4y46w 💛 Closing Reminder If this episode helped you feel more prepared or confident, please follow, rate, and review the podcast. Your support helps more women find clear, supportive information during their divorce or separation.

🎧 Listen to this episode if… You're going through DV, coercive control, divorce or separation You've survived DV and want to help other women going through it You feel alone, isolated, or unsure where to turn You want to hear about real support available for women in crisis You've lost hope and need to know good people still exist You want to understand what homelessness really looks like for women You want to connect with a service that listens without judgment You've wondered where to get help if you don't know where to start 📝 Episode Summary If you've ever felt invisible, silenced, or completely alone while living through domestic violence, coercive control, separation, or divorce this episode is for you. Today, Laura sits down with Jo West, the founder of 4 Voices, a remarkable charity supporting women experiencing domestic violence, financial abuse, homelessness, social isolation, and coercive control. This episode is different from our usual legal conversations it's a conversation about hope, humanity, and the power of connection when someone is going through hell and doesn't know where to turn. Jo shares the reality of what women face when they're living in fear, why so many are afraid to reach out, and how simple acts of kindness like someone showing up, listening, and seeing you can genuinely change the course of a woman's life. If you're struggling right now, this episode will remind you of something important: There are helpers. You are not alone. And there is support waiting for you. TRIGGER WARNING: This episode contains general discussion about domestic violence and support, not legal information. Finding Hope Again: The Charity Giving Women a Voice during DV, Coercive Control & Divorce ⏱️ Episode Timeline [00:00] Meet Four Voices: A Support Service for Women Facing DV & Crisis [01:00] Why Women Experiencing Coercive Control Often Feel Too Afraid to Reach Out [02:06] Hidden Homelessness: The Reality for Women Leaving Unsafe Homes [03:41] How Four Voices Uses Human Connection to Support Isolated Women [07:00] What Happens on a Four Voices Support Van Shift [09:04] A Story of Strength: One Woman Starting Over After 25 Years of Abuse [12:33] Financial Abuse, Survival Mode & Why Leaving Is So Hard [14:00] Why Some Women Get Turned Away From Services [16:57] A Phone-Based Support System Designed for Women Who Are Scared to Talk [18:55] Check-Ins, Consistency & Why They Matter for Recovery [20:40] How You Can Help: Volunteering, Corporate Support & Raising Awareness [23:50] Understanding the Hidden Crisis of Female Homelessness [27:23] Misconceptions About DV, Leaving, and Life After Abuse [30:41] Hope Stories: Courage, Connection & What Keeps Jo Going [33:30] Final Message for Anyone Feeling Alone or Hopeless 🔗 Links & Resources Four Voices Charity: https://www.4voices.org.au Instagram: @4voicesau 1800RESPECT – 1800 737 732 Lifeline – 13 11 14 If in danger, call 000 immediately in Australia 🚨 Support Services (Australia) 1800 RESPECT – 1800 737 732 Lifeline – 13 11 14 Safe Beds for Pets (RSPCA) 💛 Closing Reminder If this conversation brought you comfort or hope, please follow, rate, and review the podcast. Sharing this episode could help another woman find the support she desperately needs.

🎧 Listen to this episode if… You're selling the family home during divorce or de facto separation A real estate agent has told you to renovate or stage before selling Your ex wants to delay settlement until renovations are finished You're stuck with a half-renovated or unfinished house You've already spent money on renovations and want to know if it "counts" Your ex is demanding reimbursement for renovations Parents or in-laws contributed money to renovations You're deciding whether to keep the house, sell it, or buy your ex out Renovations feel emotionally or financially overwhelming right now 📌 Legal Disclaimer: This episode is for education only and not legal advice. Please seek your own independent legal, financial, and real estate advice for your situation. 📌 Trigger Warning: This episode discusses family violence and property damage. Support services are listed below. 📝 Episode Summary Should you renovate or stage the house when you're going through divorce or is it a costly mistake that keeps you stuck longer than you need to be? In this episode, Mum and I break down renovations, staging, and selling the family home during separation, and what actually matters in property settlements. We talk honestly about when spending money might make sense, when it won't, and how renovations are often used intentionally or not as a delay tactic or control mechanism. We cover staging versus maintenance, half-finished renovations, DIY disasters, family contributions, damage to property, and how the court really views all of it. Most importantly, we talk about how to decide whether renovations are worth the financial and emotional cost, and how to avoid getting trapped in a house or a settlement that never seems to move forward. 📌 Trigger Warning: This episode discusses family violence and property damage. Support services are listed below. ⏱️ Episode Timeline 00:00 Should You Renovate Before Selling During Divorce? 00:40 Renovations During Divorce: Common Questions Answered 01:09 Legal and Financial Rules Around Renovations 02:03 Staging vs Renovations: What Actually Adds Value? 05:52 Renovation Traps: Delays, Control and Emotional Attachment 08:41 Half-Finished Renovations and Unsellable Homes 13:32 Renovations as Non-Financial Contributions Explained 16:49 Family Loans, Gifts and Renovation Contributions 23:14 Property Damage, Wastage and How Courts Value Homes 23:47 Keep, Sell or Buy Out the Family Home? 24:51 Renovation Reimbursements: Do You Have to Pay Them Back? 26:34 Renovating During Separation: What to Do and What to Avoid 28:51 How Family Law Courts Determine Property Value 30:02 Renovations and Consent Orders: What Courts Will and Won't Enforce 35:22 Property Valuations in Divorce: What Courts Accept 40:04 Final Thoughts: Avoiding Renovation Mistakes in Divorce 🔗 Links & Resources Support Services (Australia) 1800 RESPECT – 1800 737 732 Lifeline – 13 11 14 Related Episodes Selling Your House During Divorce https://open.spotify.com/episode/6YUc34CVu6aCmunjQT1Sp6?si=Aks8s1YMTguzG-wyYO33Xw Property Settlement Explained https://open.spotify.com/episode/5WcJwbOkw7UcCdla48EpXj?si=JRrkI8pZRdu6EUn0h8gncw Financial Abuse After Separation https://open.spotify.com/episode/4wxVtk6TOSCgqCJikfk6LD?si=Uxr0alr8TeKwX-WvzKx6Cg 🚨 Support Services (Australia) 1800 RESPECT – 1800 737 732 Lifeline – 13 11 14 📌 Legal Disclaimer This episode is for education only and not legal advice. Please seek your own independent legal, financial, and real estate advice for your situation. 🎧 Don't forget to follow, rate & review! If this episode helped you, please share it you never know who might be stuck in a renovation trap right now.

🎧 Listen to this episode if… You're separating or divorcing someone with narcissistic traits Your ex keeps changing tactics and you feel like you're always one step behind You've experienced love-bombing, guilt, threats, or emotional manipulation Your ex is running smear campaigns or trying to control the narrative Money, disclosure, or property settlement keeps getting delayed Your children are being pulled into adult conflict Your ex is using the legal system as a weapon You feel like the abuse didn't end after separation You want to know what's coming next before it happens 📌 Legal Disclaimer This episode is for education only and not legal or psychological advice. Please seek your own independent legal support based on your circumstances. 📝 Episode Summary Divorcing a narcissist isn't just difficult it's predictable. In this episode, Mum and I walk you through the seven phases most people experience when separating from someone with narcissistic traits, based on what we see every single day in real cases. We talk about how tactics have evolved, why the mask eventually drops, and how emotional manipulation turns into smear campaigns, financial control, legal abuse, and ongoing chaos even after court ends. We're not diagnosing anyone, and this isn't about labelling. It's about pattern recognition. Once you understand the phases, you can stop blaming yourself, protect your boundaries, and make informed decisions instead of reacting in survival mode. 📌 This episode contains discussions around family violence. Support numbers are listed below. ⏱️ Episode Timeline 00:00 Divorcing a Narcissist – What to Expect & Why It's Different 01:50 Narcissistic Traits in Divorce and Separation 02:34 Phase One: Love Bombing, Guilt Tripping & Emotional Manipulation 03:50 How Narcissists Use Legal Delays and Manipulation 07:51 Phase Two: Control Tactics, Hoovering & Threats 11:57 Setting Boundaries When Divorcing a Narcissist 14:22 Phase Three: Smear Campaigns & Image Management Tactics 16:16 How to Protect Yourself Before Things Escalate 18:23 The Financial Motives Behind 50/50 Parenting Claims 18:36 Unethical Family Court Reports & Image Control 19:54 Social Media Smear Campaigns and Reputation Control 22:18 Financial Abuse Through Control and Delay Tactics 26:18 Using Children as Pawns in High-Conflict Divorce 28:47 Manipulating the Legal System After Separation 30:48 Post-Separation Abuse: Chaos and Control After Court 32:42 Final Support, Safety Planning & What to Do Next 🔗 Links & Resources Support Services (Australia) 1800 RESPECT – 1800 737 732 Lifeline – 13 11 14 Episodes Mentioned The Narcissist Playbook 10 Boundaries You Must Set in Divorce https://open.spotify.com/episode/0ecDTxw4rTc3zXBkcjuYpA?si=0tfzIRFrTuWSfrywenG4lA What About Their Belongings? https://open.spotify.com/episode/2bPd3wWLQh3pzQmL2KCR0v?si=ABBaDvMVRgqnkvfXHJh66A Protecting Your Role as Primary Carer https://open.spotify.com/episode/6oZAEkj18NEcUfJPXP0FOT?si=PR8-zKyXRru7oVeW2Allew Legal & Financial Abuse After Separation https://open.spotify.com/episode/1V23F0O5yhQt9NFLPOu6uJ?si=ZkP-KquxREeTCyQPk8I-TA What If Your Ex Lies in Court? https://open.spotify.com/episode/5SdkXhj3vC2tfO3gDdkM6y?si=sQjxVlNSTm2wnaHQdWxdlA Safety Planning After Separation https://open.spotify.com/episode/5hMmTS99LaeUWOXSxKMx1D?si=Y98mBgDoTiK1LQud-tr9BQ DARVO in Divorce https://open.spotify.com/episode/0JyfH5fCoqrUoxeDj6jCtu?si=mDoKfN3fQWONekpLUQflXg False allegations of Parental Alienation https://open.spotify.com/episode/0l9L5SDovV515EU4H5gpIf?si=5z2-pibvRKavyrPkMeuMIw Resources "Before You Go" Checklist – thedivorcecourse.com.au 🚨 Support Services (Australia) 1800 RESPECT – 1800 737 732 Lifeline – 13 11 14 RSPCA Safe Beds for Pets (state dependent) 📌 Legal Disclaimer This episode is for education only and not legal advice. Please seek your own independent legal support based on your circumstances. 🎧 Don't forget to follow, rate & review! If this episode helped you, please share it — you never know who else needs to hear this before they get blindsided.

🎧 Listen to this episode if… You're unsure whether your relationship legally counts as de facto Your ex is denying the relationship, the dates, or the level of commitment You want to know how de facto status impacts property settlement You've heard about the 2-year rule and want to know if it applies to you You're wondering if having kids changes your legal rights You're not married, but financially tangled, and don't know where you stand You're trying to prove you were (or weren't) de facto You were "separated under one roof" and need clarity You're with someone who's still married but claim they're de facto with you Episode Summary What exactly does it mean to be de facto in Australia? And why does it matter so much when you separate? In this episode, Mum and I unpack de facto relationships in family law in Australia what counts, what doesn't, and what the court actually looks at when deciding whether a de facto relationship existed. We break down the difference between being married and being de facto, the rules around the two-year relationship requirement, how children change everything, and what happens with short vs long relationships. We also talk through what happens when one person denies the relationship ever existed, how to prove your timeline, and the evidence the court takes most seriously from finances to living arrangements to social media and everything in between. If you've ever thought "Are we de facto? Does this count? What does this mean for my rights?" this episode will give you clarity, confidence and the facts that might help you in your situation. 📌 This is general information only. Always seek your own legal support for your exact situation. ⏱️ Episode Timeline 00:00 – What Is a De Facto Relationship in Australia? A clear explanation of the legal meaning of "de facto" and why it matters. 00:28 – Understanding the Term 'De Facto' Under the Family Law Act Breaking down the true definition and what "genuine domestic relationship" actually means. 01:16 – Why De Facto Status Matters for Property and Parenting How your relationship status affects your rights in separation. 01:47 – How to Prove You're in a De Facto Relationship Evidence, timelines, documents and what the courts look for. 03:50 – Common Myths About De Facto Relationships (Debunked) Misunderstandings about living together, bank accounts, and "we're not married so it doesn't count." 06:46 – Short vs Long De Facto Relationships: What's the Difference? How the length of the relationship can influence property outcomes. 17:45 – How Having Children Impacts De Facto Separation Why children change eligibility, contributions, and financial outcomes. 19:16 – Contributions in De Facto Relationships Explained Financial, non-financial, homemaking and parenting contributions — what the court considers. 19:49 – Proving a De Facto Relationship: Evidence That Helps Photos, messages, leases, documents and everyday interactions that build your case. 21:44 – What Evidence Can Be Used to Show a De Facto Relationship? From moving-day photos to shared responsibilities — what actually matters. 24:11 – Mediation Options When Your Ex Denies the Relationship How mediation and disclosure work when one person disputes being de facto. 26:55 – Can You Be Married and De Facto at the Same Time? How overlap occurs with affairs, breakups under one roof and blurred timelines. 33:31 – Clarifying the Rules Between Marriage vs De Facto How the law treats both pathways similarly for financial and parenting matters. 34:39 – Final Thoughts: Understanding Your Status and Next Steps Key takeaways on proving de facto status and protecting your future. 🔗 Links & Resources "Before You Go" Checklist – thedivorcecourse.com.au Episodes Mentioned Separated Under one Roof Episode https://youtu.be/er5qlClqOGs?si=o6f2apVsjWNHE_ID Beyond the Split Understanding Separation Dates https://youtu.be/HDL4mhO94TY?si=1aUlslHr4xGqL_dN Future Needs https://youtu.be/_-5JlRLCNxY?si=YQKBsqG2cCAEVNqs Cheating and Dating during Divorce https://youtu.be/kBOV2sRtq7E?si=SlAgBVMkwf-LoaMU 🚨 Support Services (Australia) 1800 RESPECT – 1800 737 732 Lifeline – 13 11 14 📌 Legal Disclaimer: This episode is for education only and not legal advice. Please seek your own legal support based on your circumstances. 🎧 Don't forget to follow, rate & review! If this episode helped you, please share it you never know who else needs this clarity.