Jeff Fisher Soundcloud

Jeffy previews the Academy Awards; we all know who's going to win Best Actor, but the other categories are wide open. The war between Queen Elizabeth II and Meghan Markle is showing no signs of subsiding. Did you ride your local mass transit without wearing pants this weekend? No? You DEFINITELY missed out! Finally, meet the most legendary Galapagos tortoise of all time...

Fat Pile Friday is HERE and Jeffy is questioning a report about the "billion" of dead animals in Australia due to the recent fires. The two BIGGEST questions are: who is COUNTING? and why are they COUNTING? Jupiter is being a jerk towards Earth by flinging rocks towards the earth. If you use Grindr as a dating app make sure to be careful who you agree to go on a date because you could end up dead and MISSING your ________.

Today was a day for BREAKING NEWS that include coyote attacks in Chicago, Jeffrey Epstein security tapes, and Royal Family troubles. If you live in Chicago make sure you bring a stick because people are getting attacked by coyotes. Jeffrey Epstein tapes were found, but got accidentally deleted... gosh darn. Then BREAKING NEWS from over the pond due to Prince Harry and Meghan the Queen called an emergency meeting to see how they will handle Prince Harry and Meghan leaving the royal duties.

Don't worry the show is not getting political... Jeffy just realize that President Trump said the wrong word during his speech to the WORLD. New jobs? Jeffy is giving Kris Cruz new job ideas like theme park tester in Florida or Wiener Mobile driver. Should Kris Cruz take any of those? Question of the day comes after a story about a "Sexabration" situation at a hotel and more orgy talk due to Judge Dawn from Kentucky getting caught. Don't forget to submit your best #ISISFlick via the Twitter 

As we start the new year you might have some goals and Jeffy wants to help you by introducing you to Club Soda. Laura Willoughby has a new book called "How to Be a Mindful Drinker" and she wants you to live a healthy life without alcohol. Then we get in the stories of the day like bed bugs eating a kid in Walmart (Well that's the CTF conclusion after reading the entire story). And if you live in Florida you might want to lock your doors because the sucking toe bandit is ON THE RUN!