Bravo & The Brits

Two birthdays for the price of one: Married To The Medley! Key takeaways: We're taking our petition to get Elyse cast as the new fulltime cast member to the parliament, the RHONY women get up close and personal with the Hypebeast crowd and Luann goes heavy on the radish vodka with disastrous and drawn-out vocal consequences.

Hi all, just checking on on this supposed "Week of Rest" for Lou. We'll be back soon!

This episode feels like a prime cut of RHONY - just the right amount of drunken bitchiness and ridiculousness (and cheap costumes - one of RHONY's staple motifs). Key takeaways: wearing a butterfly necklace past the age of 14 should be outlawed and you should always initiate an apology in-line at the omelette station.

The Potomac equivalent of the Capulets and the Montagues rewrite golfing history in their own image this week. Key takeaways: if you don't have at least one woman named Donzella in your friendship group, you're not hustling hard enough - oh, and if you're going to host a gala in your living room you should at least not name it after an orgasm shot.