We tried to record this episode three times. Between technological difficulties and actual conflict while making a podcast about repair, the irony was not lost on us. We're here now. And we have a lot to say. This is Part 2 of our conversation on rupture and repair in intimate relationships,  the ones you grew up in, the ones you chose, and the ones you're still trying to figure out how to stay in. This episode gets into the gritty of it: what aftercare actually looks like when nobody modeled it for you, what happens in your nervous system in the middle of a fight, and why the repair skills you're practicing with the wrong person are still worth developing. We talk about: the 1% rule,  the courage to name your part even when you're convinced it's not your fault. what it means to move toward someone when every anxious and avoidant instinct in your body is pulling you somewhere else. apologies that mean nothing because there was no reflection behind them, and acts of kindness that hold a relationship together without having to address the fight directly. We also get into something we don't hear discussed enough: why people will stay in disappointing romantic relationships for years and throw away a friendship over something minor. And what Audre Lorde has to do with all of it. This is not dating advice. This is relational advice. And it applies to every relationship you are trying to build a life inside of. Resources mentioned: Relational Skills for Liberation Workbook and The Repair Manual — get your copy here. If you enjoyed this episode, leave us a comment, review, question and share with one friend today.  xo, C&K