Most marriage problems aren't caused by terrible people — they're caused by blind spots. Habits you don't notice that are producing outcomes you can't see. In this episode, I break down five of the most common blind spots I see in the marriages of men I coach: your tone, domestic load, the self-care spectrum, yelling (and the +2 Rule), and your view of sex. Each one comes with a specific fix. If you're in separation, at least one of these probably played a role. 🔗 Full show notes + free PDF one-sheet: husbandhelphaven.com/episode-35 🔗 Join Husband Help Group: husbandhelphaven.com/group **Timestamps:** 0:00 — Introduction & framing 1:29 — Why these are dot-connecting problems 3:07 — This is not a guilt trip 4:51 — Blind Spot 1: Your tone 7:00 — Why it sounds like a teenage boy talking to his mom 9:12 — Your tone trains how she reads your texts 10:16 — Blind Spot 2: Domestic load 12:15 — Two correctives: acknowledge + predictable help 16:02 — Mental load / emotional labor 17:13 — "Saturdaddy Day" personal example 18:40 — Blind Spot 3: The self-care spectrum 20:26 — Escapism disguised as self-care 21:43 — How to split buffer time equitably 22:54 — Blind Spot 4: Yelling 24:24 — Why a man's yelling lands differently 25:22 — The +2 Rule 27:47 — Boundaries vs. yelling back 28:12 — Blind Spot 5: Your view of sex 29:05 — Sex is a symptom, not the cause 30:18 — How to enjoy courting without sex as the end goal 30:45 — Ladder of Intimacy + HHG 32:00 — Where to start & closing encouragement