A Bit of Optimism

Most of us are so certain about, well, everything. We think we can predict what's coming, what that off-hand comment really meant, what that look was about, what's going to go wrong. And according to Dr. Ellen Langer, that certainty is making us miserable… and possibly making us sick. Dr. Langer is a psychologist, Harvard professor, and the "Mother of Mindfulness." In her book The Mindful Body, she makes the case that the way we think directly shapes the way we heal, age, stress, and recover. Her conclusion: the mind and the body were never two separate things to begin with. And we have far more agency over both than we've been led to believe In this episode you'll learn: ➡️ What mindfulness (and mindlessness) really is ➡️ The one question that can dissolve stress almost instantly ➡️ Why the story you tell yourself is more powerful than what actually happened ➡️ The study that proved people lost weight without changing their diet or exercise ➡️ The difference between nervousness and excitement (and why it matters) ➡️ Why certainty is a sign of mindlessness (not intelligence) ➡️ How your body heals faster or slower based on what you believe ➡️ Why "fighting" an illness is the wrong mindset ➡️ The simple reframe that turns every negative trait into a strength ➡️ Why confident people don't need to rely on certainty In this conversation, Ellen makes the case that virtually all of us are mindless almost all of the time. And the moment you recognize that, everything opens up. Your health, your relationships, your ability to recover from hardship. The obstacle, it turns out, has always been the assumption that there was nothing left to question. This… is A Bit of Optimism. + + + To buy a copy of Dr. Ellen Langer’s books The Mindful Body: Thinking Our Way to Chronic Health and Finding Happy, head to: https://www.ellenlanger.me + + + Chapters Chapters 00:00:00 Stress Is a Story We Tell Ourselves 00:01:27 What Mindfulness Actually Means 00:02:59 Why Everything You Know Is Probably Wrong 00:04:29 One Plus One Doesn't Always Equal Two 00:06:59 Are We Wired for Stress or Taught to Be Stressed? 00:08:16 When Ellen's House Burned Down: Finding Gifts in Tragedy 00:13:19 Is This a Tragedy or an Inconvenience? 00:19:24 Nervous or Excited? The Olympic Athletes' Secret to Reframing Stress 00:22:26 The First Step to Mindfulness: Embracing Uncertainty 00:23:15 Behavior Makes Sense From the Actor's Perspective 00:33:24 Context, Context, Context: Who Gets to Decide? 00:42:41 Mind Over Matter: The Stories That Started It All 00:46:24 The Counterclockwise Study: Turning Back Time in Five Days 00:47:07 The Chambermaid Study: When Work Becomes Exercise 00:49:47 Wounds Heal Based on Perceived Time, Not Real Time 00:52:01 Are We Mindless Almost All the Time? + + + Simon is an unshakable optimist. He believes in a bright future and our ability to build it together. Described as “a visionary thinker with a rare intellect,” Simon has devoted his professional life to help advance a vision of the world that does not yet exist; a world in which the vast majority of people wake up every single morning inspired, feel safe wherever they are and end the day fulfilled by the work that they do. Simon is the author of multiple best-selling books including Start With Why, Leaders Eat Last, Together is Better, and The Infinite Game. + + + Website: http://simonsinek.com/ Leaderful: https://simonsinek.com/leaderful Podcast: http://apple.co/simonsinek Instagram: https://instagram.com/simonsinek/ Linkedin: https://linkedin.com/in/simonsinek/ Twitter: https://twitter.com/simonsinek Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/simonsinek Simon’s books: The Infinite Game: https://simonsinek.com/books/the-infinite-game/ Start With Why: https://simonsinek.com/books/start-with-why/ Find Your Why: https://simonsinek.com/books/find-your-why/ Leaders Eat Last: https://simonsinek.com/books/leaders-eat-last/ Together is Better: https://simonsinek.com/books/together-is-better/

In a world of job-hopping, side hustles, and an endless LinkedIn feed, Tim Harris did something almost no one does anymore. He stayed put. Few executives spend an entire career helping build a dynasty. Tim Harris spent 35 years with the Los Angeles Lakers, rising to President of Business Operations and helping transform the franchise into a global brand. Through championship eras, iconic athletes like Kobe Bryant and LeBron James, and decades of change in professional sports, Tim's influence was felt not on the hardwood, but in the culture, leadership, and business excellence that powered one of the NBA's most storied organizations. In this episode you'll learn: ➡️ Why clarity of role is the most underrated tool in any leader's arsenal ➡️ The three unspoken words that silently destroy any team  ➡️ What Kobe Bryant taught Tim about mindset (+ why it matters off the court) ➡️ How the Lakers built one of the most powerful brands in sports ➡️ What elite athletes do differently + how it translates directly to business  ➡️ What caring, high-performing leadership actually looks like  ➡️ Why giving away free tickets to strangers was a brilliant + caring business decision ➡️ The cost of short-termism + what we lose when we stop playing the long game Even a brand as iconic as the Lakers wasn't built by championships alone. Tim says its foundation was built one small, genuine human moment at a time.  This… is A Bit of Optimism. + + + Chapters Chapters 00:00:00 You Have to Love Them in Order to Win 00:01:54 Why Tim Stayed 35 Years With One Company 00:04:30 From Soccer Player to Lakers President: Tim's Unlikely Journey 00:07:54 Coaching as Leadership: Don't Play on the Field 00:09:39 The Long Game vs Day Trading Success 00:11:00 The Underrated Tool of Clarity of Role 00:13:29 Kobe's Compartmentalization: Nice Guy Off Court, Competitor On Court 00:15:19 The Mental Game: What Separates Elite Athletes From Everyone Else 00:22:08 The Three Unspoken Words That Ruin Any Team 00:24:16 Meeting People Where They Are 00:36:45 Caught You Being a Laker: Empowering Employees to Create Magic 00:30:31 The Empty Seat Philosophy: Turning Sunk Costs Into Memories 00:31:35 Building Brands One Tiny Act at a Time 00:38:42 Remember That Business Is Always Human 00:42:04 The Jenga Theory: Every Interaction Either Builds or Destroys Your Brand 00:46:31 Caring Structure: What People Actually Crave at Work 00:47:26 Never Miss Your Kid's Game: The Accountability Agreement 00:50:09 Learning From Legends: Phil Jackson and the Human-First Philosophy 00:48:48 The Work Happens in the Dark: What Made Kobe and LeBron Great 00:50:56 Stop and Look at the Joy: Championship Lessons and Kobe's Legacy + + + Credits Footage: NBA Entertainment Photos: http://bit.ly/43Fb37Z (Full List) + + + Simon is an unshakable optimist. He believes in a bright future and our ability to build it together. Described as “a visionary thinker with a rare intellect,” Simon has devoted his professional life to help advance a vision of the world that does not yet exist; a world in which the vast majority of people wake up every single morning inspired, feel safe wherever they are and end the day fulfilled by the work that they do. Simon is the author of multiple best-selling books including Start With Why, Leaders Eat Last, Together is Better, and The Infinite Game. + + + Website: http://simonsinek.com/ Leaderful: https://simonsinek.com/leaderful Podcast: http://apple.co/simonsinek Instagram: https://instagram.com/simonsinek/ Linkedin: https://linkedin.com/in/simonsinek/ Twitter: https://twitter.com/simonsinek Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/simonsinek

Hello from Team Simon! We're taking a quick break this week and will be back with brand-new episodes of A Bit of Optimism next Tuesday.  Until then, we're revisiting one of our favorite episodes — when bestselling novelist Fredrik Backman joined the show to talk about the thing he's spent his whole career writing about: the quiet, radical power of showing up for people. And Fredrik says great friendships aren't found by luck. They're built deliberately, repeatedly, and, sometimes, inconveniently by people who choose to do the work. Fredrik is the internationally bestselling author of A Man Called Ove (adapted into the film A Man Called Otto), Anxious People, and the Beartown series. His book, My Friends, is a love letter to the relationships that quietly shape who we become. In this conversation, Fredrik opens up about his best friend of over 30 years and what 30 years of real friendship actually requires. His words will have you thinking hard about the friends you might be taking for granted. In this episode you'll learn:  ➡️ Why great friendship is a skill + what the work actually looks like  ➡️ The concept of your "people” vs. “humans"  ➡️ Why your friends are your best editors ➡️ The friendship rule that changed how Fredrik's entire friend group thought about relationships ➡️ The unexpected value of quantity of time vs. quality of time  ➡️ How to be genuinely happy for someone else  ➡️ The difference between healthy self-deprecation and low self-esteem  ➡️ Why the work in a relationship is never solely on the relationship — it's always on you A great relationship isn't a stroke of luck. It's a choice you make every day, in small ways, often when it's inconvenient. This conversation is a reminder of why it's worth it. This… is A Bit of Optimism. + + + To buy Fredrik’s book, My Friends, visit: https://www.simonandschuster.com/authors/Fredrik-Backman/411545926  + + + Chapters Chapters 00:00:00 We Don't Need Algorithms to Find Our People 00:02:45 Fredrik's Viral Speech: Fueled by Pure Panic 00:05:55 The Power of Authenticity: Why Imperfection Resonates 00:07:29 Choose Your Seven Humans Wisely 00:08:56 The Friend Who Taught Him Everything 00:15:43 Quality Time vs Quantity Time: The ROI of Presence 00:17:53 The "I Want To," Not "I Have To" Philosophy 00:20:55 Your Friends Are Your Best Editors 00:13:23 Writing as Self-Editing 00:15:06 Learning to Be Happy for Others 00:22:41 The Gift of Time: Showing Up When It Matters 00:23:56 Be A Great Friend, Get Great Friends 00:28:55 The Work Is On You: Relationships and Self-Growth 00:36:23 Algorithms Would Never Match Us: The Value of Difference 00:34:21 Trying Is Everything 00:35:55 People vs Humans 00:37:18 Self-Deprecation vs Low Self-Esteem 00:39:22 The Jantelagen: Swedish Humility Law 00:45:26 The Fear of Disappointing People 00:48:00 Expectations vs Reality: Letting Go of Fantasy 00:49:00 Understanding Bullies: Finding What We Have in Common 00:51:21 Fighting Narcissism: Surrounding Yourself With Better People 00:52:08 Being Comfortable Not Knowing: The Gateway to Learning 00:55:28 The World's Best Cardamom Bun Debate + + + Simon is an unshakable optimist. He believes in a bright future and our ability to build it together. Described as “a visionary thinker with a rare intellect,” Simon has devoted his professional life to help advance a vision of the world that does not yet exist; a world in which the vast majority of people wake up every single morning inspired, feel safe wherever they are and end the day fulfilled by the work that they do. Simon is the author of multiple best-selling books including Start With Why, Leaders Eat Last, Together is Better, and The Infinite Game. + + + Website: http://simonsinek.com/ Leaderful: https://simonsinek.com/leaderful Podcast: http://apple.co/simonsinek Instagram: https://instagram.com/simonsinek/ Linkedin: https://linkedin.com/in/simonsinek/ Twitter: https://twitter.com/simonsinek Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/simonsinek

Maybe this sounds familiar: you leave a party and spend the rest of the night convinced everyone was upset with you. Or you replay something you said in a meeting for days and second-guess every last word. Vanessa Van Edwards has been there. As a self-proclaimed "recovering awkward person," she’s spent two decades decoding the hidden dynamics of human interaction to make those skills teachable for introverts and extroverts alike. Vanessa is a behavioral researcher, bestselling author, and founder of Science of People. In her book, Conversation: How to Be Instantly Likeable in Any Interaction, she makes the case that social skills aren't a personality type, they're learnable. And she believes we are living in the most critical moment in history to start learning them. In this episode you'll learn: ➡️ Why "just be yourself" is unhelpful advice + potentially cruel ➡️ The important everyday interactions technology + AI replaced ➡️ Where to stand at a party so someone always talks to you ➡️ How to have better conversations (+ why you already have the skills) ➡️ What the real antidote to awkwardness is ➡️ How to practice micro-social skills without turning people off ➡️ Why we’re all ambiverts + how to understand ambiversion ➡️ How soft skills drive major career inflection points ➡️ The concept of social fitness + the “nutrition” of your relationships In this conversation, Vanessa lays out how even the most socially anxious among us can build real connections and become more likable… even in a world that has quietly removed all the places we used to accidentally get good at being human. And the secret isn't confidence. It's something far more generous. This… is A Bit of Optimism. + + + Watch A Bit of Optimism on Spotify, and Spotify Premium users can enjoy the show ad-free. + + + To pre-order Vanessa’s new book, Conversation: How to Be Instantly Likeable in Any Interaction, head to: https://www.scienceofpeople.com/conversation/ Want to learn more people skills from Vanessa? Check out The Science of People: https://www.scienceofpeople.com/ + + + Chapters Chapters 00:00:00 Social Skills in the Digital Age Crisis 00:01:47 Vanessa's Journey: The Accidental Social Skills Expert 00:05:45 Mistakes Everyone Makes Learning to Improve Social Skills 00:08:09 Where Did Our Places to Practice Being Human Go? 00:11:17 Where to Stand at a Party When You Don't Know Anyone 00:14:17 The Ambivert Reality: Social Fitness and Friendship Nutrition 00:18:07 The Discomfort Problem: Why Young People Avoid Rather Than Adapt 00:21:33 Put the Shoes in the Box: The Art of Knowing When to Stop 00:34:54 Intention Matches Action: Defining Authenticity 00:46:56 The Power of Being Seen: How Love Changed Everything 00:49:51 The Ultimate Social Skill: Helping Others Feel Normal 00:42:20 Micro-Social Skills: Finding the Parts of Yourself You Like + + + Simon is an unshakable optimist. He believes in a bright future and our ability to build it together. Described as “a visionary thinker with a rare intellect,” Simon has devoted his professional life to help advance a vision of the world that does not yet exist; a world in which the vast majority of people wake up every single morning inspired, feel safe wherever they are and end the day fulfilled by the work that they do. Simon is the author of multiple best-selling books including Start With Why, Leaders Eat Last, Together is Better, and The Infinite Game. + + + Website: http://simonsinek.com/ Leaderful: https://simonsinek.com/leaderful Podcast: http://apple.co/simonsinek Instagram: https://instagram.com/simonsinek/ Linkedin: https://linkedin.com/in/simonsinek/ Twitter: https://twitter.com/simonsinek Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/simonsinek

We often comfort ourselves with the idea that things happen for a reason, or define our struggles as a test of strength. Tom Nash might ask you to reconsider. Tom is a speaker, former DJ, and globe-trotting advocate for agency, anti-fragility, and the radical idea that your worst moment might be your greatest asset — as he argued in his TED Talk, "The Perks of Being a Pirate.” He’s also the mind behind Last Meal with Tom Nash where he asks his guests what their last meal would be if the world ended tomorrow, and then actually cooks it for them. In our conversation, Tom shares how, at 19, a rare bacterial infection left him a quadruple amputee with a 2% chance of survival. And he'll tell you it's the best thing that ever happened to him. This isn’t just another conversation about resilience. It’s a deep dive into agency and the difference between a life that happens to you and one you actually choose. In this episode, we explore: ➡️ Why the story you tell yourself about your own life is the most powerful force in it ➡️ The difference between resilience and anti-fragility (and why it matters) ➡️ Tom’s framework for navigating adversity: The Artist, the Author, and the Alchemist ➡️ The counterintuitive reason why we actually need support networks ➡️ Why "everything happens for a reason" can be a trap (and the perspective that works better) ➡️ What your last meal choice reveals about what you're really searching for ➡️ Why the concept of being "self-made" is a dangerous illusion Tom joins me to ask a fundamental question: who is really holding the pen when it comes to your story? This… is A Bit of Optimism. + + + Watch the new season of Tom’s show Last Meal with Tom Nash and head to: https://www.lastmealwithtomnash.com Want more Tom? Check out his website: https://www.tomnash.com + + + Chapters Chapters 00:00:00 Adversity Can Be The Best Thing You Experience 00:03:45 Tom's Story: Contracting Meningococcal Disease 00:07:47 The Gift of Agency: Choosing to Amputate 00:16:18 The Artist, The Author, and The Alchemist: A Framework for Anti-Fragility 00:20:28 The Alchemist: Turning Adversity Into Advantage 00:23:52 Learning to Walk Again: The Momentum Metaphor 00:26:57 The True Purpose of Support Networks 00:34:33 Why 'Everything Happens for a Reason' Robs You of Agency 00:47:37 The Last Meal Question: What Your Choice Reveals About Freedom 00:42:23 Joel Robuchon: Leadership Through Teaching, Not Commanding 00:58:34 The Problem With Inspirational Affirmations 01:00:59 Stop Saying Everything Happens for a Reason + + + Simon is an unshakable optimist. He believes in a bright future and our ability to build it together. Described as “a visionary thinker with a rare intellect,” Simon has devoted his professional life to help advance a vision of the world that does not yet exist; a world in which the vast majority of people wake up every single morning inspired, feel safe wherever they are and end the day fulfilled by the work that they do. Simon is the author of multiple best-selling books including Start With Why, Leaders Eat Last, Together is Better, and The Infinite Game. + + + Website: http://simonsinek.com/ Leaderful: https://simonsinek.com/leaderful Podcast: http://apple.co/simonsinek Instagram: https://instagram.com/simonsinek/ Linkedin: https://linkedin.com/in/simonsinek/ Twitter: https://twitter.com/simonsinek Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/simonsinek Simon’s books: The Infinite Game: https://simonsinek.com/books/the-infinite-game/ Start With Why: https://simonsinek.com/books/start-with-why/ Find Your Why: https://simonsinek.com/books/find-your-why/ Leaders Eat Last: https://simonsinek.com/books/leaders-eat-last/ Together is Better: https://simonsinek.com/books/together-is-better/