Reels of Justice

In a relatively songless episode, the Court goes gaga this week when Michelle Kisner (“The Physical Media Advocate”) gives the 2024 musical sequel “Joker: Folie à Deux” what it f@#$ing deserves. *** Prosecutor: Michelle Kisner. Defense: Dylan J. Schlender. Judge: The Honorable Maynard Bangs. Jurors: Big Ben Haslar, Ryan Luis Rodriguez, Maynard Bangs. *** Advisory: Silvana Carranza. Prologue: Kirk R. Thatcher. Original Theme: WT Golden. What did you think of the verdict?

The Court learns about a new type of pegging this week when Justin Andrews (“Mind Pump Media”) tries to jump his bicycle over the 1986 sports film “Rad.” *** Prosecutor: Maynard Bangs. Defense: Justin Andrews. Judge: The Honorable Ryan Luis Rodriguez. Jurors: Ryan Luis Rodriguez, Dylan J. Schlender, Big Ben Haslar. *** Advisory: Silvana Carranza. Prologue: Kirk R. Thatcher. Original Theme: WT Golden. What did you think of the verdict?

The Court passes the homemade cranberry sauce when an overgrown stuffed turkey named D-Rok Schlender (“Schlender 5 Productions”) dishes out just desserts to the 2025 horror film “Weapons.” *** Prosecutor: D-Rok Schlender. Defense: Ryan Luis Rodriguez. Judge: The Honorable Dylan J. Schlender. Jurors: Big Ben Haslar, Dylan J. Schlender, Maynard Bangs. *** Advisory: Silvana Carranza. Prologue: Kirk R. Thatcher. Original Theme: WT Golden. What did you think of the verdict?

The Court runs out for more Coors Light this week when Frank Dietz (“This Monstrous Life”) scratches and claws a defense out for the 2010 remake of “The Wolfman.” *** Prosecutor: Dylan J. Schlender. Defense: Frank Dietz. Judge: The Honorable Maynard Bangs. Jurors: Ryan Luis Rodriguez, Maynard Bangs, Big Ben Haslar. *** Advisory: Silvana Carranza. Prologue: Kirk R. Thatcher. Original Theme: WT Golden. What did you think of the verdict?

The Court tries to find its family jewels this week when Ken Liu (“All That We See or Seem”) smuggles out a cache of riches inside a hollowed out copy of 2007’s “National Treasure: Book of Secrets.” *** Prosecutor: Big Ben Haslar. Defense: Ken Liu. Judge: The Honorable Dylan J. Schlender. Jurors: Ryan Luis Rodriguez, Dylan J. Schlender, Maynard Bangs. *** Advisory: Silvana Carranza. Prologue: Kirk R. Thatcher. Original Theme: WT Golden. What did you think of the verdict?