Boomer Monologues

“I’ve seen things you people wouldn’t believe. Attack ships on fire off the shoulder of Orion. Watched C-beams glitter in the dark.” —Roy Batty. .  A fun, philosophical one-hour-and-fifteen-minute-long homage to the likes of Gog, Robbie the Robot, the Lost in Space Robot, the H.A.L. 9000, Colossus, the Terminator, and all those Blade Runner androids, as well as to the likes of Rod Serling, Isaac Asimov, Arthur C. Clarke, Moon Watcher, Harrison Ford, Rutger Hauer, Philip K Dick, Stephen Hawking, and even Plato, Dylan Thomas and Cole Porter for the little bits and pieces of wisdom and insight. Robot philosophy and psychology.  “I’m sorry, Dave. I’m afraid I can’t do that.”   -H.A.L. 9000

I have to admit, I have always been an air show junkie. Give me a good baseball cap, my Ray-bans, binoculars, camera, fold-out camp chair, and some heavy-duty sunscreen (SFP 70 or better) and I’m good to go. I’ll jockey myself up through that crowd of like-minded, similar-looking rubber-neckers and stake out the ultimate spot for myself, front and center, as close to the roped-off runway as I can get. And then just consign myself to the baking tarmac sun for hours, happy as a clam, thrilling to the deafening roar of of jets tearing out a rip in the atmosphere, to the bone-jarring vibrations of the vintage bombers lumbering overhead, and to the sheer butterfly beauty of the ultralights.  Yes, and let me tell you now... I’ve seen some things at airshows in my time! Some pretty amazing and unexpected things too, as you might imagine. And this? This is the story of one of them. So welcome back to BOOMER MONOLOGUES, finally. I’m your host, Tom Lyford, and this is Season Two. Our first episode is titled “Like That Daring Young Man on the Flying Trapeze.”

BOOMER MONOLOGUES Episode 8- "Tobacco Road" Hello. Welcome back to BOOMER MONOLOGUES. This is Episode 8- "Tobacco Road.” I’m inviting you to step back in time with me again, this time to Main Street, USA, circa 1955. I suggest you bring your Covid-19 masks along, though, to filter out some of the hazardous-to-your-health, second-hand smoke you'll definitely encounter there. The mid-Twentieth Century is a very smoky era, a land of Zippo lighters; cigarette-dispensing machines wherever people gather; cigarette commercials with the catchiest jingles; cool TV celebrities smiling their big, alluring smiles while smoking their favorite brands all over the boob tube and urging you to join right in with them; and. last but not least, a handful of very impressionable and vulonerable little nine-year-olds, like me.

BORN TO BE MILD PART II: "Head Out on the Highway" (or Zen and the Art of Motorcyclist Wannabeism) continues the saga of a dyed-in-the-wool Walter Mitty-ish man’s relationship with both the stark reality of sheer testosterone  daredeviltry and the dream-world  of a lurid imagination.  Will Tom end up being hit by the... "screamin' deisel that was California bound," a la the song, "Black Denim Trousers"? Succumb to the fate of "The Leader of the Pack"? Or continue on through life as the boring, mild-mannered poet/armchair hobbyist?  

"Born To Be Mild" Parts I and II:  the phenomenon of Wannabe-ism (a la... The Christmas Story's Ralphie the wannabe Red-Ryder-Rifle-toting cowboy, or  Peanuts' "Snoopy and the Red Baron" wannabeism. These two tell-all segments chronicle my own rise from first "living" my childhood Roy Rogers fantasy in my own mind all the way up through becoming a 'bad ass biker' wannabe. Along the way, we enjoy  a brief visit with two famous wannabes: Walter Mitty and George Plimpton.