My loved one with dementia is anxious and agitated – what can I do?

It’s common for those with Alzheimer’s to have challenging behaviors – maybe they’re terrified, aggressive, or not sleeping. However, when Tonja Moon’s family gave her grandma a baby doll, everything changed. Her grandma’s mood completely changed, and the baby became her purpose. She began eating more and stopped wandering. She finally settled down and had a routine. Best of all, it helped provide the calmness she needed.

Tonja founded The Grand Baby Project in memory of her grandmother. It’s a research-backed nonprofit that offers dolls to Assisted Living and Memory Care communities and those suffering from dementia and Alzheimer’s. They even offer training to help implement daily therapy in a way that will benefit those with dementia, including tips on introducing the baby, engagement techniques, and examples of activities.

Doll therapy is huge in the United Kingdom and Australia, but hasn’t yet gained traction in the U.S. It may seem odd to give dolls to a senior with dementia, but doll therapy helps give this population purpose – and those with dementia still deserve a sense of purpose!

Plus, caring for a doll can help provide peace, comfort, and joy, and the results have been remarkable. Many will sing to their dolls or revert to behaviors from when they were parents themselves, like bouncing or rocking them. Having a doll also provides a daily routine like walking them in a stroller, music time, and bedtime.

The Grand Baby Project is a nonprofit that works to find sponsors and donate to the folks who need them, and it is backed by the Dementia Society of America. They’re always fundraising so they don’t have to tell someone no.

Topics discussed:

• Alzheimer’s and dementia
• Doll therapy
• Therapeutic activities for dementia
• Alternatives to dementia medication
• Activities for dementia patients
• Assisted Living and Memory Care Training

Takeaways from this episode:

- Those with advanced dementia live in the moment. Doll therapy is a great way to help them find purpose, peace, and joy during a troubled time.

- Some studies have shown that if a dementia patient has doll therapy, they don’t have to take as much medication.

- The Grand Baby Project uses lifelike and life-sized dolls that are soft and cuddly, and come in different ethnicities. They also wear clothing in pleasing textures to those with dementia, who often have sensory issues as the disease progresses.

- When a senior is focused on the doll, it helps relieve often overworked and understaffed memory care facilities. When someone with the disease is calm and sitting, this calm state allows workers to check on more patients.

- There are many regulations around prescribing medications, and they're not always guaranteed to work. Doll therapy for Alzheimer's and dementia patients offers a great alternative.

Resources mentioned in this episode:

Finding the perfect gift for our older family members can sometimes feel like an uphill battle. As we grow closer to the holiday season, the task can seem more daunting, especially when considering the unique needs of seniors, particularly those living in assisted living or those living with dementia. But fear not—I’m here to guide you through a thoughtful and heartfelt gifting journey that celebrates comfort and connection over material abundance.

Christmas is a special time of year filled with warmth and love, and it's the perfect occasion to show our appreciation to the seniors in our lives. As they transition into assisted living or experience the cognitive changes that come with dementia, their needs and desires can change significantly. They often value gifts that provide comfort, safety, and an opportunity for connection. With a little thinking outside the box, you can find gifts that resonate deeply and foster joy.

Let's dive into some fabulous gifting ideas that fit all budgets. Starting with an affordable range of gifts, you can consider cozy non-slip socks or large print puzzle books. These small tokens of affection not only provide practical benefits—like preventing falls or encouraging mindfulness through puzzles—but also offer comfort and engagement. Simple items like lavender roll-on oils can also promote relaxation and soothe anxieties, which are invaluable for those with dementia.

In a slightly higher price range, you might find weighted lap blankets to help soothe agitated nerves or digital clocks showcasing large displays for clarity and assistance with routine. Such gifts help maintain independence and dignity, while providing reassurance in everyday living. As an award-winning senior living expert, I've witnessed firsthand how small changes can make a big impact, bolstering both physical safety and emotional well-being.

Another thoughtful idea is a memory foam slipper with a sturdy tread for safe walking around the home or community, tackling the practical side of gift-giving. For tech-savvy senior loved ones, even a simple Bluetooth speaker brings immense joy and utility, whether it's used for music, audiobooks, or connecting with loved ones through audio calls.

If your budget allows for a slightly more premium gift, consider electronics like electronic jar openers, which can significantly enhance a senior's independence and ease everyday chores. Items like heated blankets are wonderful, albeit with necessary precautions, to provide comforting warmth on chilly nights.

For those willing to invest in more luxurious items, a Roomba vacuum can automate cleaning tasks, reducing the physical strain on seniors. Alternatively, an Amazon Echo Show not only opens doors for entertainment and information for seniors but also provides a hands-free assistant, making daily life smoother and more entertaining.

Don’t overlook the possibility of gifting experiences. Spend time with your senior loved ones by arranging outings like driving tours of holiday lights, or a movie day complete with puzzles and cocoa. These shared moments create lasting memories and strengthen bonds in ways that material gifts cannot.

Ultimately, the essence of gift-giving lies in showing our loved ones that they are seen and valued, providing them with reassurance and connection. So, if there’s one takeaway from today, I encourage you to choose gifts that celebrate who they are and the beautiful journey they’ve traveled, while offering practical benefits that enhance their quality of life.

Thank you for taking this journey with me as we explored unique gifting ideas for our senior loved ones. For more gift ideas and to explore links to our suggestions, please visit my website. Remember to share this article with anyone you feel may benefit. And if you haven’t subscribed to the podcast already, please do so—you won't want to miss our upcoming episodes. Here's to a season filled with love, warmth, and meaningful connections. See you next Friday!

Chapters:

• 00:00 Introduction to Aging in Style
• 00:21 Welcome and Christmas Gift Giving
• 01:51 The Heart Behind Gift Giving
• 06:39 Gifts Under $25
• 11:42 Gifts Under $50
• 16:17 Gifts Under $100
• 20:05 Premium Gifts Over $150
• 22:37 Experience Gifts and Final Thoughts
• 25:18 What Not to Buy and Conclusion

Resources mentioned in this episode:

As the holiday season approaches, the hustle and bustle of family gatherings can be incredibly overwhelming for everyone involved, especially those living with dementia. The vibrant chaos of laughter, chattering, and clattering plates may spark joy for many but can be overpowering for elderly family members who process the world differently. In this episode, I will share key insights into why these gatherings can become a whirlwind for those with dementia and offer nine thoughtful strategies to transform your holiday affair into a more inclusive and joyous occasion for all.

The challenges of hosting and attending family gatherings with a loved one managing dementia are rooted in sensory overload and disrupted routines—not to mention the pressure to navigate old family dynamics. Yet, with a little preparation and mindfulness, these gatherings can be tailored to become meaningful experiences that prioritize comfort and understanding.

Why the Holidays Can Overwhelm Those with Dementia:

Emotions tend to run high during the holidays, with stresses ranging from preparing perfect meals to managing the hopes of achieving that idyllic family moment. However, family dynamics and unresolved childhood tensions can quickly bubble to the surface, especially when someone with dementia is present.

Sensory Overload:

Holiday meals often translate to a cacophony of noise—a symphony of clinking cutlery, overlapping conversations, children scampering about, and the medley of kitchen aromas. For a person with dementia, such sensory input is akin to living life at a deafening volume. It can quickly overwhelm them, turning what should be a time of joy into a sensory nightmare.

Too Many People, Too Little Familiarity:

Even the faces of beloved family members and friends can become bewilderingly unfamiliar to someone with dementia. This lack of recognition can lead to embarrassment or withdrawal, especially when well-meaning relatives insist on being remembered.

Routine Disruptions:

For those with dementia, deviations from their established routines can be distressing. Holiday schedules disrupt the comfort of familiarity with new environments, foods, and social interactions, leading to confusion and agitation.

Difficulty Following Conversations:

The rapid-fire exchange typical in lively family talks makes it challenging for individuals with dementia to follow, leading to frustration. Misunderstandings or memory lapses could easily be misconstrued by others as intentional behavior.

The Pressure to Act 'Normal':

The unintentional insistence that someone with dementia should act like their old self is a common occurrence. It assumes they can recall past events or participate in the same manner they once did, causing undue stress when they cannot.

Strategies to Make Gatherings Better:

1. Create a Quiet Space: Designate a peaceful room where your loved one can retreat if the surroundings become too overwhelming.
2. Manage the Crowd: Keep gatherings small or stagger guest arrivals to ease sensory load. A buffet style or come-and-go arrangement can manage crowd size effectively.
3. Easy Seating Arrangements: Seat them next to someone calm and understanding to provide emotional stability.
4. Simplify the Meal: Limit food choices on their plate to prevent confusion.
5. Reduce Background Noise: Turn off the television and keep music volumes low, allowing conversations to be the main auditory focus.
6. Assign Meaningful Tasks: Involve them by giving simple responsibilities that instill a sense of purpose and inclusion.
7. Avoid Memory Quizzes: Frame conversations positively by sharing beloved memories without the expectation of recollection.
8. Opt for Short Visits: Quality time trumps exhausting durations; short, peaceful visits are often more meaningful.
9. Assign a 'Buddy': Have a family member vigilantly attentive to the needs of your loved one to keep stress levels in check.

The holiday season is a time for family connections and cherished memories, reflecting not only on past traditions but the present reality of our loved ones. By fostering a more understanding and calm environment, we can ensure our gatherings remain harmonious and enjoyable for everyone, especially those living with dementia. Should you need further guidance navigating these situations or want more information on senior care, please don't hesitate to reach out. Let's transform our holiday celebrations into moments of warmth, acceptance, and genuine togetherness. As always, thank you for joining me on this journey of aging gracefully, and please share these insights with anyone who might find them beneficial.

Chapters:

• 00:58 Holiday Meals and Dementia: Understanding the Challenges
• 03:50 Why Holiday Gatherings Overwhelm Those with Dementia
• 07:27 Signs of Overwhelm in Loved Ones with Dementia
• 08:47 Tips for a Calmer, Enjoyable Holiday Gathering
• 14:16 Creating a Supportive Environment for Loved Ones with Dementia
• 17:36 Conclusion and Resources for Dementia Care

Resources mentioned in this episode:

Have you ever considered how quickly a fall can change a life, especially for our cherished older adults? I'm Lori Williams, and I can tell you firsthand how a simple accident can become a pivotal event. With over 20 years of experience in senior living, I’ve encountered many instances where a fall becomes a critical turning point. Recently, this reality hit home when my mother, at the age of 86, experienced a fall. Her story highlighted a truth many ignore: while falls are often preventable, they can drastically alter the independence of our loved ones.

We often imagine falls as something that won't happen to us or our family members, but statistics tell a different story. The Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC) reports that over 14 million adults over 65 experience at least one fall annually. Interestingly, it's not a matter of "if," but "when" for many seniors. It’s crucial to focus not just on understanding these incidents but on actionable steps we can take to prevent them.

Understanding the Impact of Falls

Falls are the leading cause of injury among older adults, often resulting in hospitalization or the loss of independence. My mom recently became part of a sobering statistic: 37% of seniors who fall sustain injuries severe enough to require medical treatment. In her case, she needed four staples in her head but, thankfully, no broken bones. Despite the initial shock, witnessing the care team in her assisted living facility respond swiftly offered immense relief.

The reality is, a fall at home could have been disastrous. Without the right help at the right time, she could have been left alone for hours, unable to get assistance. It’s these moments that stress just how critical it is for senior housing solutions to be a part of our family's contingency plans.

Why Falls Happen

So why do so many older adults experience falls? There are five major reasons. Nighttime bathroom trips top the list, with inadequate lighting and drowsiness being key culprits. Medications contribute to dizziness and confusion, weakening the strength and balance that’s so crucial for preventing falls. Environmental hazards like throw rugs and poor lighting create tripping hazards, while changes in vision and hearing may obscure essential safety cues.

However, even with these challenges, the path to prevention isn’t hidden. It requires us to address each factor with the seriousness it deserves, ensuring our loved ones can live safely in their environments. Prevention doesn't only lie in turning on brighter lights or removing a throw rug; it calls for a comprehensive approach.

Five Steps to Prevent Falls

Here is what we can do. First, improve home lighting, especially in paths that lead to the bathroom. A simple installation of motion sensor nightlights can make an enormous difference. Second, encourage and facilitate exercises that build strength and balance. Chair yoga, tai chi, or even daily walks can dramatically decrease fall risks.

Third, a regular review of medications and vision checkups should become commonplace. Fourth, eliminate environmental hazards. Remove those tempting throw rugs, secure cords, and keep pets out from underfoot. Lastly, plan for emergencies by setting up an alert system. Fall detection technology, whether through pendants or smart devices, is an invaluable tool for immediate response.

Utilizing Technology

In today’s tech-savvy world, understanding your options for alert systems can be life-saving. Devices like the Apple Watch or dedicated alert systems such as Medical Guardian can offer emergency contact services when falls are detected. Consider even simpler solutions like Alexa-enabled emergency calls, as they’ve been a lifesaver for those unable to reach a phone.

When visiting family this holiday season, it’s the perfect time to ensure these measures are in place. Set up or test the alert systems, assess the home for potential hazards, and discuss plans for getting immediate help when needed. Remember that each small adjustment could prevent a fall and the subsequent life-altering consequences.

Aiming for More than Just Survival

As we grow older or support aging loved ones, our focus shouldn’t be solely on surviving, but thriving. Falls don’t only cause physical injuries; they strip away confidence. Taking preemptive steps can restore peace of mind for families and affirm our commitment to those we care about.

Closing Thoughts

Reflecting on my mom’s recent experience has deepened my commitment to sharing these crucial insights. Aging is inevitable, but preventable tragedies like falls shouldn’t be. As caregivers, family members, or concerned individuals, we owe it to our seniors to create safer living environments. Let’s turn this conversation into action. I invite you to download our fall-proof home checklist from the website or email me for a copy, and make your loved one’s safety a priority. To keep updated with more tips and insights, subscribe to our podcast where we delve into topics that matter each Friday. Together, let's work towards a safer future.

Chapters:

1. 00:00 Introduction to Aging and Style
2. 00:32 Personal Story: The Impact of Falls
3. 04:07 Understanding the Causes of Falls
4. 08:05 Preventing Falls: Practical Tips
5. 12:57 Technology and Tools for Fall Prevention
6. 14:45 Final Thoughts and Call to Action

Resources mentioned in this episode:

As a caregiver, the demands of daily life can quickly overwhelm even the strongest among us. We find ourselves juggling countless responsibilities, often at the expense of our own well-being. This cycle can take a heavy toll on our health if we don't pause to listen to what our bodies are telling us. In this week's episode, I will share with you five key steps that helped me as a caregiver find balance and ensure my well-being amid the chaos of life. Trust me, your health is just as important as your loved one's.

Caregiving is an extraordinary role that requires our utmost attention and energy, making it easy to overlook our own needs. Recently, I experienced a severe wakeup call in the form of pneumonia, which forced me to confront the reality that ignoring my health was no longer an option. This experience fueled my determination to change my approach to caregiving, and I hope to encourage you to do the same. Let's dive into these five crucial steps for maintaining your health while caring for others.

Being a caregiver is often likened to being the hero of the family, holding everything together. However, we can't take on that role effectively if we're not in good health. The first step is to listen before your body screams. Recognize any signs of exhaustion, dizziness, or forgetfulness as cues to take action and address your health. When I began feeling unusually tired and needed frequent naps, it was my body's way of signaling that something was amiss.

Sleep deprivation is a common challenge for caregivers, yet quality rest is essential for preventing illness and maintaining energy levels. Prioritize sleep as if your life depends on it. As a caregiver to my husband, Mark, whose health needs often disrupt my sleep, I found that discussing sleep issues with my doctor and exploring options like melatonin or anxiety-reducing medications was beneficial. It's critical to find what works for you and allows you to rest effectively.

An effective backup team is your lifeline. You don't have to do it all by yourself. Whether it's family, friends, or neighbors, building a reliable support network is crucial. In my case, enlisting the help of my children, a caregiver, and our wonderful neighbors across the street allowed me to press pause when needed. No one should have to navigate caregiving alone; it takes a village.

Simplifying your life might sound like a luxury, but it's essential for preserving your energy. Letting go of non-essential commitments and focusing on just the essentials has been transformative for me. Assess your current commitments and determine where you can cut back. Time is precious, and simplifying allows you to focus on what truly matters—your health and your loved one’s well-being.

Lastly, grant yourself permission to rest without guilt. Many caregivers, myself included, feel the urge to push through exhaustion to complete one more chore or task. But remember, you're not failing by taking a nap or indulging in a moment of relaxation. Rest is crucial for sustaining your health. Remind yourself that it’s okay to let the laundry wait or the floors remain unswept for a little while longer.

Chapters:

1. 00:00 Introduction and Personal Experience
2. 00:20 Welcome to Aging and Style with Lori Williams
3. 01:16 The Role and Challenges of Caregivers
4. 02:51 Personal Story: When the Caregiver Gets Sick
5. 03:49 A Month of Challenges
6. 11:49 The Importance of Self-Care for Caregivers
7. 13:24 Five Steps to Better Caregiving
8. 23:11 Conclusion and Final Thoughts

As caregivers, we often become statistics, more prone to depression, heart disease, or chronic illnesses due to the stress of caregiving. But embracing these five steps has empowered me to change that narrative. I urge you to evaluate your needs and commit to one small change today, starting with permission to care for yourself.

To wrap it all up, shifting our mindset towards self-care doesn't make us any less dedicated as caregivers. In fact, it fortifies us, ensuring we're there for our loved ones when they need us most. I invite you to share this journey with other caregivers in your life. Together, we can foster a supportive community. Please consider liking and following my podcast for more insights on thriving as we age, and join me next time for continued conversations on caregiving. Thank you for reading, and remember to cherish your health—it’s your most precious asset.

Resources mentioned in this episode: