Finding Fertile Ground: Stories of Grit, Resilience, and Fertile Ground

Dr. Ronnie Taylor was born to extremely young parents who divorced after a few years of marriage. His mom converted to Mormonism and moved the family to Salt Lake City to start a new life. Unfortunately, the missionary who converted and recruited her failed to tell the church Ronnie’s family was Black. They weren’t exactly welcomed with open arms.

His mom worked and went to college full time, and eventually she remarried. Growing up in Utah as a Black Mormon was tough. Ronnie moved out when he was 17 and tried to build a life for himself, but he kept getting targeted by police. 

“In my life to date, I've been pulled over by the police about 55 times and I've been beaten by the police five times. Also been arrested over a dozen times.”

Ronnie cashed two checks for $300. He didn't have the money in his bank account, but he thought he could just pay the money back and it would be okay. He didn't think the penalty would be that severe…but it was two felonies with zero to five years jail time. He was sentenced to three years, probation, 178 hours of community service, and 6 months house arrest. He also had to pay the restitution and a fine. 

Soon he found himself falling into a never-ending series of bad situations that kept getting worse, and he was only 20 years old. 

“And if you can't get a job or vote or all these other myriad of consequences that come from a conviction, then you're largely excluded from society as a whole. Being in that situation was much harder because it meant years of job insecurity and financial insecurity…And if you can't make money, you just can't participate in life in many ways.”

The only solution he could find was to move out of state and lie on his job applications. While living in Rhode Island, Ronnie met his wife Kerala and they moved to Washington DC. 

“She says I romanticized living in DC, but I remember really enjoying it partially because it's a mostly Black city. We used to call it Chocolate City. It was the first time in my life where I lived in an environment where I was just not special. I was just a normal, everyday person who got to walk around and not have to deal with a lot of the things that I have to deal with. There was also the reverse where, being in a predominantly Black environment that people think I act too white. I don't fit in anywhere." 

He went into paramedic school and tried to get his record cleaned up. Eventually he had to pay a lawyer to get his record expunged. 

Ronnie realized he didn’t want to be a paramedic his whole life so he went to George Washington University and graduated summa cum laude while also working full-time. 

Ronnie’s doctorate program brought the family to Portland, OR. He earned his doctorate in occupational therapy and now he’s on track to become certified as a hand therapist.

Listen to the podcast to hear about growing up as a Black Mormon, how he turned his life around, and what life is like today.

Dr. Melissa Jenkins Mangili is a neuropsychologist and medical school faculty member who has reinvented herself as a fashion and fitness model. 

Her life began with grit and resilience. She and her three siblings were was raised in poverty in rural Maine by a single quadriplegic mother. 

 “The nice thing about being from a small town is that everybody knows each other…and rallied to help us. (My mother) couldn't drive at first. She had to relearn how to drive and get an adapted car. Eventually we were able to build a wheelchair-accessible home…and she was able to drive independently…as we got older, we were able to help more.”

Melissa had her first job at age 9, with a paper route. By age 12 she was working 50 hours a week babysitting during the summer. She worked at McDonald’s in high school and as a second job during college summers. 

In spite of the hardships, she had a happy childhood. 

“…the experience made us closer and happier in a lot of ways, because even though things were tough, we were in it together. We all had a common mission of taking care of our mom and taking care of each other and doing everything that we could to contribute to that common mission…we became very close and we learned how to be very self-sufficient. We're all very successful as adults.”

Thanks to her intelligence and hard work, she graduated second in her college class. That’s just the start of her educational journey. She camped across the country to California for graduate school because she heard education was more financially accessible there. Then she worked her way through UCSD.

Fast forward to her academic career and private practice as a neuropsychologist. Until recently, Melissa taught at Brown University medical school. During the “great pause” of COVID, she took a sharp left turn and become a fashion and fitness model. 

“I think it is radical to step in front of a camera and do it as yourself, not with artificial enhancements or extreme workout regimens or any of that kind of perfectionism, but just to step in front of the camera or out on a runway and model, as a not-25-year-old model and be visible and represent our generation.”

She loves advocating for more diverse representation in modeling. 

Melissa is also enjoying the freedom from not having to fit into the conservative norms of academia. She’s embracing her reinvention as a model!

Vernita L. Bowe is a survivor. As a smaller-than-average child, she experienced bullying in school. When she grew up she married the wrong man and wasn’t able to get out of that marriage for 24 years, three kids later.

Parenting has been about huge loves and losses for Vernita. Her middle son landed in prison, and four years ago her oldest son Byron died in a car accident.

“You really don't wanna bury your children. But what I've learned is all of the promises are gone…all of the things that you and he were gonna do together…and all of the things that he wanted to do with his life. All gone…and let me tell you something. People say that you should get over a loss and I just wanna say this for the listening audience: You never get over a loss. You learn how to live beyond it. But you never really get over it.”

After Byron died, the griefs kept coming. Byron’s godfather and Vernita’s mentor died, and then her mother…next she and her father contracted COVID at the same time and ended up in the hospital, both on ventilators. Unfortunately, Vernita’s dad passed away while she was still on the ventilator.

In spite of the great griefs she has suffered…or because of them…Vernita has embraced life and is living it to its fullest! She recently got a passport and took her very first airplane flight! That’s just the beginning of the living and traveling she has planned for herself.

Happy Pride! What better month to launch this fun episode and celebrate a wonderful queer story.

Growing up in Germany, when Nicole moved to the U.S. as a teen she never felt like she fit in. Then she joined the military during Desert Storm, and she ended up playing Taps for 600 funerals of her colleagues. That nearly broke her. She married a man before coming out as gay, and her dad and sisters rejected her.

Around the same time of that rejection, her beloved mom—the only family member who truly embraced Nicole for who she was--suddenly died at the age of 51. 

When COVID hit, Nicole and her wife took a wild cross-country trip in an RV. They experienced discrimination and many, many vehicle troubles. (Who knew buying a brand-new RV would turn out to be such a headache?!?) 

Then when they returned to Southern California, she landed a job reporting to a toxic boss who had a history of discriminating against queer people. She’s now in a much happier place, working at Toast, where she feels completely affirmed and embraced.

Nicole more grit and resilience than I even expected before I interviewed her! I loved listening to her colorful, varied stories of her life so far. If you want ideas on where to travel in the U.S., I highly recommend Nicole’s Instagram page, @chocoandchaitourtheus.