The Dude Therapist

What does it really mean to be "enough" as a man, and why do so many men feel like they're falling short? In this episode, Eli Weinstein sits down with therapist, podcaster, and founder of Rugged Counseling, Trey Tucker, for a direct and deeply honest conversation about the internal battles men face but rarely talk about. From anxiety and identity to life transitions and emotional suppression, Trey breaks down why so many men feel like they're constantly running on empty and don't know why. Trey shares his unconventional path from the corporate world into therapy and how that journey shaped his mission to make mental health more accessible and less intimidating for men. Together, Eli and Trey explore why traditional therapy often misses the mark with male clients, how deeply ingrained beliefs like "I'm not enough" take hold, and what it actually looks like to rebuild a sense of self-worth. They also dive into the idea that men are wired to be tested, the disappearance of meaningful rites of passage, and why discomfort, challenge, and even silence can be powerful tools for growth. Drawing on examples like Israel's mandatory military service, they unpack what resilience really looks like and how it can be cultivated in a modern world that often avoids struggle. This is a conversation about pressure, purpose, and learning how to show up fully without numbing out or shutting down. If you've ever felt like you should have it all together but don't, this episode will hit. Topics Covered: Why so many men struggle with the belief “I’m not enough” The biggest challenges men bring into therapy Why life transitions hit men differently Emotional suppression and the “brewers vs. bottlers” concept The lack of strong male support systems Why traditional therapy doesn’t always work for men The importance of challenge and being tested Lost rites of passage and modern masculinity And more Resources & Links: Trey Tucker @RuggedCounseling: instagram.com/ruggedcounseling Tough Enough by Trey Tucker: https://a.co/d/0gfnVfFn Connect with Eli & The Dude Therapist: 📖 Book: From I Do To We Do 🌐 https://www.eliweinsteinlcsw.com/book 📱 Eli’s Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/eliweinstein_lcsw/ 🎙️ Podcast Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thedudetherapist/ This show is hosted by Eli Weinstein and produced by Rainbow Creative (https://www.rainbowcreative.co/). Executive Producer & Editor: Matthew “MoJo” Jones For sales and sponsorship opportunities, contact: [email protected] Chapters 0:00 – Intro & Welcome 1:26 – Trey's Journey: Corporate World → Education → Therapy 4:40 – What Called Trey to Therapy 7:07 – The Most Common Issues Men Bring to Therapy 9:58 – Brewers vs. Bottlers: Why Women Handle Change Differently 11:00 – The Male Support System Problem (IVF Story) 12:05 – How Trey Breaks Down Barriers in the First Session 14:32 – When Trey Takes the Wheel in Therapy 17:20 – Trey's Therapist Yelled at Him to Stop Writing 19:01 – You're a Whole Person — Not Just a Brain 21:12 – The Belief That Haunts Most Men: "I'm Not Enough" 23:05 – The Lost Rites of Passage & What Replaced Them 28:25 – Eli's Experience Almost Joining the Israeli Army 33:00 – The Lesson: You CAN Figure It Out Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In this episode, Eli Weinstein sits down with therapist and bestselling author Nicole Sachs, LCSW, for a powerful conversation about the mind-body connection and how our emotional world directly shapes our physical health. Nicole shares her deeply personal journey from being diagnosed with a debilitating spinal condition at just 19 years old to becoming one of the leading voices in mind-body medicine, carrying forward the work of Dr. John Sarno. Together, Eli and Nicole explore why chronic pain and anxiety are often rooted in unresolved emotional experiences, how the brain works to keep us “safe in the most unsafe way,” and what it actually takes to begin healing. They break down the neuroscience behind chronic pain, challenge the belief that symptoms are purely physical, and offer a grounded, compassionate framework for understanding how the body communicates distress. Nicole also introduces her signature “Journal Speak” practice, a structured, daily writing method designed to help people safely process repressed emotions and begin releasing long-held pain. The conversation also dives into how stress becomes chronic illness, what to do when a partner or loved one doesn’t understand this work, and why even skeptics should be open to trying these tools. Throughout the episode, Eli and Nicole emphasize that healing is possible—and that you are not broken. Topics Covered: How repressed emotions can manifest as physical pain and illness Why the brain tries to protect you in ways that keep you stuck The science and psychology behind chronic pain Nicole’s personal healing journey and 25+ years pain-free “Journal Speak” and how to start the practice yourself Navigating skepticism and resistance from others Tools for building awareness and starting your healing process And much more Resources & Links: 📖 Mind Your Body by Nicole Sachs 🎙️ The Cure for Chronic Pain Podcast 🌐 https://www.nicolesachs.com 📱 Instagram: @nicolesachslcsw 🏕️ Omega Institute Retreat (June) 🌵 Miraval Austin Retreat (Fall) 📖 The Body Keeps the Score – Bessel van der Kolk 📖 Feeling Good – Dr. David Burns 📖 From I Do to We Do by Eli Weinstein Connect with Eli & The Dude Therapist: Book From I Do To We Do: https://www.eliweinsteinlcsw.com/book Eli’s Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/eliweinstein_lcsw/ Podcast Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/thedudetherapist/ This show is hosted and produced by Eli Weinstein and Rainbow Creative (https://www.rainbowcreative.co/) with Executive Producer & Editor Matthew “MoJo” Jones. For sales and sponsorship opportunities, reach out to [email protected] Chapter Timecodes: 00:00 Introduction & Nicole’s Impact on Eli’s Healing Journey 00:52 Who Is Nicole Sachs? Mind-Body Medicine Explained 02:42 Nicole’s Story: Diagnosis at 19 03:26 The Legacy of Dr. John Sarno 05:33 Making the Mind-Body Connection Make Sense 07:42 When Stress Turns Into Chronic Pain 08:08 Nicole’s Healing: 25 Years Pain-Free 09:56 Medication, Fear & Misconceptions 13:51 “Safe in the Most Unsafe Way” Explained 17:29 Chronic Pain as Communication 20:05 Listening to Your Body Before Crisis 24:46 The Pressure Cooker World We Live In 31:07 When Your Partner Doesn’t Get It 34:35 Unlearning Myths About Pain & Emotion 42:50 Opening the Door to Repressed Feelings Safely 47:22 Journal Speak Practice Explained 49:45 Final Message: You Are Not Alone 50:33 Where to Find Nicole & Her Work Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In this episode, Eli Weinstein sits down with Dr. Ann-Louise Lockhart, a pediatric psychologist, parent coach, and author of the upcoming book Love the Teen You Have, for her second appearance on The Dude Therapist!  Together, they take a grounded, honest look at parenting through the teen years and why this stage is often misunderstood, under-resourced, and emotionally charged for both parents and kids. They explore why it’s never too late to repair and rebuild connection with your teen, how many “behavior problems” are actually bids for connection, and why parenting the child in front of you matters more than clinging to an idealized version of who you thought they’d be. Dr. Lockhart also breaks down which battles are actually worth having, how over-monitoring tools like Life 360 can increase anxiety and mistrust, and why rigid discipline structures often miss the point of adolescent development. The conversation also dives into screen time and digital boundaries, the role of chores and structure without control-based parenting, and how messaging around masculinity can impact boys’ emotional health. Finally, Dr. Lockhart introduces the concept of re-parenting, how increasing your own self-awareness and healing your inner child directly shapes the kind of parent you become, and how unconditional love, paired with healthy boundaries, can fundamentally shift the parent-teen relationship. Why parenting teens (ages 9–19) is often under-supported Repairing relationships with teens — even after years of disconnection “Bad behavior” as communication and bids for connection Choosing your battles: what matters vs. what doesn’t Chores, structure, and avoiding rigid, control-based parenting Toxic masculinity messaging and boys’ emotional development How unconditional love reshapes long-term parent-child dynamics And much more! Dr. Ann-Louise Lockhart Instagram:https://www.instagram.com/dr.annlouise.lockhart Links: https://linktr.ee/dr.annlouise.lockhart  Book From I Do To We Do: https://www.eliweinsteinlcsw.com/bookEli’s Instagram: @eliweinstein_lcsw: https://www.instagram.com/eliweinstein_lcsw/Podcast Instagram: @TheDudeTherapist: https://www.instagram.com/thedudetherapist/ This show is Hosted and Produced by Eli Weinstein and Rainbow Creative (https://www.rainbowcreative.co/) with Executive Producer & Editor Matthew “MoJo” Jones. For Sales and Sponsorship opportunities reach out to [email protected]  00:00 Introduction & Welcome03:40 Why Teen Parenting Needs More Attention06:10 Reconnecting With Your Teen (It’s Never Too Late)09:45 Behavior as Communication12:30 Choosing Your Battles as a Parent15:20 Messy Rooms, Independence & Letting Go18:05 Individuation & Teen Identity Formation20:40 Screen Time, Social Media & Boundaries23:10 Life 360, Monitoring & Trust Issues27:35 Chores, Structure & Rigid Parenting Pitfalls31:10 Masculinity Messaging & Boys’ Mental Health34:40 Re-Parenting Yourself Explained39:15 How Inner Work Changes Parenting43:30 Final Takeaways & Closing Advice Topics Covered:Connect with Our Guest:Connect with Eli & The Dude Therapist:Chapter Timecodes: Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In this episode, Eli opens up about his and his wife’s personal infertility journey and sits down with Dr. Lucky Sekhon, a double board-certified OB-GYN and reproductive endocrinologist at RMA of New York and author of The Lucky Egg (out January 13). Together, they explore why conversations around infertility have become more mainstream and the emotional weight so many couples quietly carry, including shame, comparison, grief, anxiety, and the very real risk of treatment dropout due to psychological stress. Dr. Lucky challenges common misconceptions, explaining that infertility is not solely a female issue, lifestyle alone cannot prevent it, and egg count does not equal overall fertility. She outlines when to seek testing, including irregular cycles, trying for 12 months if under 35, 6 months if 35+, and 3 months at 40 - and emphasizes the importance of a proactive care mindset. The conversation also highlights how clinicians can better integrate emotional support into treatment plans, how couples can show up for one another without blame, and how to protect identity and self-worth during the process. They discuss navigating social triggers, handling insensitive comments, and offering practical language to support loved ones who may be struggling. Dr. Lucky also shares the heart behind writing The Lucky Egg, addresses common internet fertility myths, and leaves listeners with a grounded, hopeful message: you are not alone, and support matters. Connect with our Guest Dr. Lucky’s Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/lucky.sekhon/ Website: https://theluckyegg.com/  Order “The Lucky Egg”: https://static.macmillan.com/static/smp/lucky-egg-9781250408716/  Connect with Eli and The Dude Therapist! Book “From I Do To We Do”: https://www.eliweinsteinlcsw.com/book - Order Today!Eli’s Instagram: @eliweinstein_lcsw: https://www.instagram.com/eliweinstein_lcsw/ Podcast Instagram: @TheDudeTherapist: https://www.instagram.com/thedudetherapist/ This show is Hosted and Produced by Eli Weinstein and Rainbow Creative (https://www.rainbowcreative.co/) with Executive Producer & Editor Matthew “MoJo” Jones. For Sales and Sponsorship opportunities reach out to Shane Thornton at [email protected] Chapters 00:00 Welcome and Infertility journey 01:02 Meet Dr. Lucky Sekhon 04:59 Why infertility talk exploded 07:54 Emotional toll and resilience 11:16 Common fertility myths 16:27 Egg numbers and expectations 17:36 Hope stats and the unknown 21:23 When to start testing 24:24 Proactive care mindset 25:50 Supporting each other 28:30 Protecting identity 30:20 Handling social triggers 34:17 Practical support scripts 35:57 Writing The Lucky Egg 39:29 Internet fertility myths 41:47 Hopeful closing message 43:08 Where to find the book Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices

In this interview, psychotherapist Jessica Baum returns to discuss her second book, "Safe," which expands beyond her first book "Anxiously Attached" to cover all attachment styles through a "Wheel of Attachment," embedded attachment wounds, and the neuroscience of healing. She explains how attachment patterns shape nervous system responses during conflict. Anxious tendencies can include people-pleasing, fear of abandonment, and escalation, while avoidant tendencies can include withdrawal and shutdown. She also discusses how early caregiver attunement, rupture and repair, and emotional presence influence a child's felt sense of safety. Baum describes "earned security" as possible at any age through neuroplasticity and "anchoring relationships" that provide consistent, warm co-regulation and disconfirming experiences. She notes that people often gravitate toward familiar chaos. She also addresses navigating relationships when only one partner commits to the work and shares practical starting points like mapping core wounds and seeking safe, supportive connections. Connect with our guest Jessica Baum!  Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/jessicabaumlmhc/  Order “Safe” Today: https://jessicabaumlmhc.com/safe  Connect with Eli and The Dude Therapist! Book “From I Do To We Do”: https://www.eliweinsteinlcsw.com/book - Order Today! Eli’s Instagram: @eliweinstein_lcsw: https://www.instagram.com/eliweinstein_lcsw/ Podcast Instagram: @TheDudeTherapist: https://www.instagram.com/thedudetherapist/   This show is Hosted and Produced by Eli Weinstein and Rainbow Creative (https://www.rainbowcreative.co/) with Executive Producer Matthew “MoJo” Jones and Associate Producer & Editor Xavier Adetula. For Sales and Sponsorship opportunities reach out to Shane Thornton at [email protected]  CHAPTERS 00:00 Conflict and Attachment 00:47 Meet Jessica Baum 01:58 Why Safe Matters 04:20 Vulnerability and Healing 08:07 Attachment Goes Mainstream 12:21 Childhood Wiring Explained 15:07 What Safety Means 20:02 Earned Secure Attachment 22:35 Choosing Safe People 26:20 When Partners Diverge 31:03 Practical Takeaways 32:51 Where to Find Jessica 33:41 Closing Thanks Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices