Heat Death of the Universe

Desperately needing to crawl into the past toward our mommies because The News is too much to bear, not only to read about compulsively but to then also spend further time trying to deal with via talking into microphones. So we very intentionally decided to do the most wholesome thing we could think of and discuss the Mighty Ducks film franchise, specifically 1992 original, which exposed the viciousness of the competive non-professional hockey world, introduced a generation to the real ...

We struggle to a near comical degree to take The News head-on and The News may've won this round. An especially hellish week among hellish weeks. If you really wanna know how I feel just look at my posting history of late. Please don't kill yourself. Join a labor union. P.S. Publicly available Matt Schlapp contact info for no particular reason. P.P.S. Credit to @citiesbydiana for some repurposed audio elements from her videos. Recorded on Saturday, March 7th, 2569 around 12.30 PM Korea Standa...

Amuse-Bouche: US Scientific Progress in 2026: Clumps of disembodied brain matter "learn" to "play" first-person shooter games. We remember that the state of healthcare in the US is still not exactly ideal. Mangione's lawyers are sticking it to that wildly dangerous quasi-sentient mash-up of the distilled essence of Mar-a-Lago and the closeted physiognomy of Lindsey Graham (i.e. Pammys Bondis). L'entrée de l'enfer: The United States Israeli Occupying Force never met a girl's elementary ...

Tim goes on strike. Josh quits his job. Perhaps chatbot-led surgery just might not be quite calibrated to utopian levels yet. The Philes, continued: Bill Gates retrospection; Petey "Low-Carb Vulva" Attia and his uncanny valley teeth; the beautifully intricate and philosophically astute mind, prose and experimental punctuation of jeevacation; and so on. ElooMa has reached his rock bottom but vows to Bore™ his way through to even deeper levels of mediocrity. Plus, ElooMa's brother, Kimble...

The CEO of Antifa Industries caught dead to rights in Portland OR. Tim Pool really wants us to know that the boots he licks are his own. Supremely embarassing three-word combo comes to life: National. Prayer. Breakfast. The Daily Wire's shape-shifting christofascist Michael Knowles "debates" ChatGPT regarding the existence of his god and it is somehow 10x worse than expected. Olive Garden claims another life via unthinkably horrific suicide. We review Melania, a movie we both totally viewed f...