SUMMARY: Guest: Lara Silverman — comedic actress, jazz singer, violinist, author, Stanford Law grad; formerly a federal prosecutor. -Faith roots: Grew up in a large Romanian Christian family (with Syrian Christian heritage); accepted Christ at 7; faith deepened after her aunt’s death from cancer. -Calling to law: Loved advocacy and public speaking; passed the bar after intense study; landed her dream role as a federal prosecutor in San Francisco. -Health crisis: Fell acutely ill in week two on the job with a rare, under-researched neurological vertigo disorder; tried ~30–150 therapies and ~38 medications (often worsened symptoms); bedridden for three years on a bedpan; ultimately resigned her post. -Ongoing illness: Continues to experience constant spinning sensations; multiple tentative diagnoses, no definitive cure; learned to walk again despite worsening symptoms when upright. -Spiritual wrestle: Initial confusion turned to seasons of bitterness and anger (more than depression); felt misunderstood by some believers when she sensed God calling her to accept ongoing suffering. -Acceptance and surrender: Believes God spoke that she would not be fully healed on this side of eternity; fasting exposed idols of health, marriage, and career; moved toward surrender and trust. -Meeting Matt: Church acquaintance (youth leader) who reached out during her bedridden years; he had suffered childhood cancer and was later diagnosed with terminal cancer; they formed a deep bond through shared suffering. -Marriage and loss: Married despite her illness and his terminal diagnosis; experienced “joy in grief” through ministry and creativity; Matt died a year later; Lara testifies to God’s peace and preparation through the loss. -Joy amid grief: Practiced finding “sprinkles of joy” (comedy clips, music, niece’s smile, devotionals); launched The Silverman Show (YouTube: comedy, music, theology); organized jazz fundraisers, including $13K raised for Haiti. -Theology of suffering: *Critiques “prosperity gospel light” in American church; calls for preparing believers to suffer well. *Emphasizes biblical themes: joy in suffering; God’s intentional purposes; eternal rewards (e.g., “crown of life”); 2 Corinthians 4:17’s “eternal weight of glory.” *Points to Isaiah 61 (double portion/redemption), 1 Peter 1:7 (tested faith), Job-like redemption ultimately fulfilled in eternity. *Cites Helen Roseveare’s testimony about trusting God in suffering. -Identity transformation: Early identity tied to achievement and “gold stars”; illness stripped these; learned identity in Christ, not performance; challenged by Matt’s loving rebukes about pride and usefulness. -Honest struggles: Jealousy when others receive “basic blessings” (marriage, children, health); wrestled with God’s statement “I know what’s best for you”; learning to believe God’s wisdom without having micro-level reasons. -Church’s role: Encourage sound theology of suffering, eternal perspective, and the call to “joy in grief”; avoid equating God’s love solely with earthly blessings. -Memoir: Wrote her memoir from bed over eight months, capturing God’s “receipts” (journaled answers, provisions, and lessons); aims to comfort sufferers with biblical reasons for suffering and stories of God’s nearness. -Hope redefined: Realistic hope is anchored in eternity (John 11:25); freedom from fear of death empowers purposeful living now. -Key scriptures referenced: 2 Corinthians 4:17 (eternal glory) 1 Peter 1:7 (tested genuineness of faith) Isaiah 61 (redemption, double portion) Isaiah 43:19–20 (streams in the wilderness) Romans 8:29 (conformed to Christ) John 11:25 (life beyond death) -Core takeaway: God provides “streams in the desert.” Open your heart to receive and choose joy in the midst of grief; joy and sorrow can coexist, and God will redeem suffering—fully in eternity, and often with foretastes now.   PODCAST INTRO: What happens when the life you planned—brilliant career, healthy body, tidy faith, marriage and children—collides with relentless suffering? For comedian, jazz singer, author, violinist, and Stanford-trained attorney Lara Silverman, that colission became a calling. Lara spent years pursuing her dream of becoming a federal prosecutor—years of academic discipline, devoted goal setting, and passionate pursuit. After graduating from Stanford, she enters the grueling vetting and elimination process of 1000 hopeful lawyers with the goal of making it to the top 3. When she learns that she made it in the top 3 her dream becomes a reality…she is standing at the pinnacle of a major goal in her life. She was accepted as a federal prosecutor and begin the task of fully stepping into that role. Until in her second week on the job, she fell violently ill with what would later be discovered as a rare, unresolved neurological condition that keeps her in a constant state of the world spinning around her. She endures that condition to this day…8 years now, 3 of which left her bedridden, on a bedpan, being cared for and nursed by her parents. Thirty-eight medications failed. Careers, plans, family timelines—all stripped away. In her personal dark valley of multi layered deaths, her testimony is that not only does God meet her there, He has never left her. True to being a trained lawyer, in her effort to make sense of her spinning, crumbling world she uses the Word/Bible to question God’s goodness and His fairness demanding that He explain Himself. She’s met with firm, steady, unwavering love that consistently engages her pain inviting her from striving to surrender. Through Lara’s fasting, God exposed hidden idols—health, marriage, career—not to shame her, but to set her free. Because I think we all know that if we build our lives on things that will fade, change, transition, not to mention the fact that we have no guarantees on anything we risk losing ourselves into despair and ruin. Then came an unlikely gift. As Lara lay in bed, a church acquaintance—Matt Silverman, a brilliant, joy-filled believer battling terminal cancer—began calling to pray and wrestle through theology with her. Friendship became love. They married, held jazz benefit concerts for Haiti, launched a small YouTube channel, and practiced “joy in grief” as a spiritual discipline. Exactly one year later, Matt went home to Jesus. Lara’s testimony is not tidy. She speaks frankly about anger, bitterness, jealousy, and the ache of unanswered prayers. Yet she clings to promises many avoid: that suffering refines faith (1 Peter 1), forges intimacy with Christ, prepares us for eternity (2 Corinthians 4), and—even here—can be met with streams in the desert (Isaiah 43). She believes God will redeem every loss, whether in the here and now or in eternity—and that the doctrine of reward, often neglected, gives sturdy hope when the nights are long. Her invitation is simple but not without surrender and therefor difficult: Look for “sprinkles of joy” each day. Refuse to waste your pain—serve others through it. Live now with eternity in view. If you’re not afraid to die, you can truly live. Sorrowful, yet always rejoicing. That’s Lara’s way through the wilderness—and a lifeline for anyone walking it today. In her memoir, Singing Through the Fire, she chronicles all of that’s happened, how God shows up, the challenges she’s put before Him and vice versa. What does it look like to struggle with God ? Lara provides examples, proof that He doesn’t leave even when our faith is weak and ungodly. He holds us up when our faith falters and He sustains us through the most devastating emotional, mental, physical, battles. Let’s listen in and find a reason to hope again, to find joy and to be comforted in what can feel like the wilderness. Live Loved and Thrive! Sherrie Pilk   CONNECT WITH LARA: Main Hub: https://linktr.ee/Larap3 Amazon link for her book: https://a.co/d/ayQyB52 Facebook page: https://www.facebook.com/lara.palanjian.silverman Instagram handle: @larapalanjian Youtube: https://youtu.be/TDcUeQrbVZk Watch the deeply moving BOOK trailer here:  https://youtu.be/TDcUeQrbVZk Watch the second BOOK trailer here: https://youtube.com/shorts/bO34s0tLYyY?si=uTMALdhOPB6TOCnt RESOURCES PER LARA: Helen Roseveare’s testimony: https://youtu.be/VJCCx-qiZ24?si=ANuKzA-A-F6kwEkt Podcast: Keep an eye/ear out for her new podcast: Singing Through Fire w/Lara Silverman BIO: Lara Silverman is a Christian author, lawyer, jazz singer, comedic actress, violinist, and songwriter. She holds a J.D. from Stanford Law School and a B.A. in both Economics and Political Science from UC Berkeley. Before falling seriously ill in 2018, Lara worked for two federal judges and practiced high stakes litigation for three years at Arnold & Porter Kaye Scholer LLP, where she specialized in intellectual property, antitrust, and contract cases of all kinds.   In 2023, Lara co-founded The Silverman Show—a multifaceted comedy, music, and theology show—and released her debut jazz/pop album as her own music producer in February 2024. In September 2024, she debuted as Mrs. Serious in her solo Armenian comedy show online, amassing upwards of 300,000 views on individual videos on Instagram. Lara’s writing has been featured in various respected Christian blogs, where her reflections on faith, suffering, and grace have encouraged readers across diverse audiences. Even as she remains mostly bedridden today, she anchors her unwavering hope in God.