If I had to choose a word to describe the stage it would be - Uncomfortable.
It rained.
I limped.
It sandstorm-ed.
I hallucinated.
I slept while I walked. I slept in a bush.
I chose my response. I smiled.
An epic day (and a bit). I spent the vast majority of it in a place I enjoy - on my own; in my own head. There was stuff to get some clarity on. The long reflective periods of silence were healthily broken by moments with Kevin from Cumbria, the 2 Pauls (@pfarr1980 & @paulbyas ), James at CP 7 and Gary from our @ironmindinstitute team.
Despite the discomfort, there was little “1st level thinking”. You know - the focus that arises as a consequence of the physical stress: “How long is left?”, “How far until the next checkpoint?” etc, etc …. outcome orientation. I’ve practiced the 4 Controllables Method for close on a decade and mind - body connection has become my default state - even in duress.
Discomfort is the price of evolution. Therefore the capacity to endure discomfort is truly important if you desire to do more with your life. The longer we can endure the feeling of discomfort, the more time we give ourselves to organise our psychology and change our state - a true superpower.
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It's important to me that I am honest with myself. For years I wasn't.
My dishonesty inflicted plenty of pain on me and others close to me.
Honesty, I find, has the opposite effect and counterintuitively, the more brutal and confronting the information uncovered, the deeper its properties to bring goodness into the world.
The truth is enlightening and empowering despite its often ugly facade.
Although the act of being honest with myself is often an internal wrestle, I've fought hard and engrained a meaningful practice within. So if I am honest with myself - The night of Day 2 and morning of Day 3 was where I lost the internal battle to keep pushing myself.
I can have all sorts of reasonable excuses; discomfort, pain, injury, team to lead, etc but they are still excuses. The truth is - I let my mind and its admirable powers to recruit whatever it is that amplifies my fears, doubts and insecurities onto its team, win the battle.
Note: This is not the first battle of the mind I have lost and it will not be the last. What is ultimately important here is that I face the consequences with honesty, respond with integrity and try again with a wholeheartedness.
Follow the story of my dispatches from the desert here - https://lnkd.in/gSGDbpjB
Strength, courage & integrity,
Damian
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