The Penis Project Podcast: Breaking Taboos in Men’s Sexual Health

Host: Melissa Hadley Barrett  Guest: Carlotta Thomas   Category: Partner Support | Prostate Cancer | Intimacy and Sexuality | Penile Rehabilitation   Episode Summary: Prostate cancer does not just affect one person. It can affect the couple, the relationship, the way intimacy feels, and the confidence both people bring into the bedroom. Many men and their partners feel alone in that. This episode reminds listeners that they are not broken, they are not failing, and they are definitely not the only ones trying to work out what comes next.  It also gently challenges the old idea that intimacy only “counts” if there is penetration or a reliable erection. Thankfully, human connection is a bit more creative than that.    Episode Description: In this episode of The Penis Project Podcast, Melissa Hadley Barrett speaks with Carlotta Thomas about something that does not get talked about nearly enough, the partner perspective after prostate cancer. Carlotta is a breast cancer survivor and the partner of a prostate cancer survivor, and she shares a deeply honest, thoughtful, and hopeful perspective on what it means to navigate love, intimacy, communication, and recovery in a relationship touched by cancer.   Melissa first met Carlotta through a Canadian support and education organisation (The Walnut Foundation) for men and their partners affected by prostate cancer and was struck by how openly and powerfully she spoke about the realities of being the partner of someone going through treatment and recovery.   Together, Melissa and Carlotta explore the reality that for many couples, sex and intimacy after prostate cancer may need to look different, especially in a newer relationship. They talk about the common assumption that sex must always mean penetration and why broadening that definition can be both freeing and healing. Carlotta shares how she and her partner navigated those early conversations, how they learned what worked for each other, and why intimacy can be as simple as touch, affection, holding hands, and being emotionally present.   This episode is particularly valuable because it normalises the awkward bits. The conversations that feel hard. The fear that a partner may withdraw. The uncertainty around erections, desire, and body confidence. Melissa and Carlotta talk openly about how communication is not optional if couples want to stay connected through change.   There is also a strong message of hope in this episode. Melissa reflects on how many men eventually regain erectile function, sometimes naturally and sometimes with support such as rehabilitation or injections, but that the process can even improve people’s intimate lives. Carlotta’s message is that this journey is one that involves faith, love, courage, resilience, and communication.   In this episode we discuss:  the partner perspective after prostate cancer  navigating intimacy in a new relationship  why sex is more than penetration  how to talk about awkward or emotionally difficult topics  the impact of treatment changes on connection and confidence  how couples can adapt and find new ways to be intimate  why communication is one of the most important tools in recovery  hope, resilience, and learning together as a couple  About Carlotta Thomas:  Carlotta Thomas is a breast cancer survivor, advocate, leader, and the partner of a prostate cancer survivor. Melissa describes being struck by Carlotta’s honesty and vulnerability when they met through a Canadian prostate cancer support and education event. In this episode, Carlotta shares her lived experience of navigating love, partnership, communication, and intimacy in the context of cancer recovery.    Need support with Prostate Cancer or Intimacy?  At Restorative Health Clinic, we support men and their partners with:  penile rehabilitation after prostate cancer treatment  erectile dysfunction  intimacy and sexual recovery  partner-inclusive support where appropriate  practica

In this eye-opening episode of The Penis Project Podcast, Melissa chats with Chris Bustamante—better known online as Injector Chris — a New York and San Diego–based Nurse Practitioner who has become one of the world’s leading experts in penile aesthetics, including penis fillers, scrotal enhancement, ShowTox, Scro-Fill, HoleTox, and more.  Chris brings a unique combination of artistry, anatomy, and sexual-health expertise to a niche area of men’s health that is rapidly growing but often misunderstood. Together, Melissa and Chris unpack the science, the artistry, the risks, and the motivations behind male cosmetic procedures—from girth fillers to anal Botox—while smashing stigma and celebrating patients’ right to feel confident in their bodies.  Whether you're curious, skeptical, or considering enhancement yourself, this is an honest, deeply educational, boundary-pushing conversation you won’t want to miss.   This Episode, We Cover:  Chris shares his journey from makeup artistry → biology → nursing → nurse practitioner, and how combining aesthetics with sexual health led him to create Lushful Aesthetics, one of the most recognised male-enhancement clinics in the US.  Melissa and Chris dive into:  The difference between cosmetic artistry and simply “knowing the technique”  Why penile filler is nothing like facial filler  The rise of revision work—and why many patients are coming in after botched jobs elsewhere  Ideal candidates for girth enhancement  Why proper technique preserves sensitivity  What partners think—and why many return to get procedures themselves!  Chris also explains some of the most intriguing procedures in modern sexual health:  ShowTox™  Botox in the shaft to reduce retraction and help men appear more like a “shower” than a “grower”.  HoleTox™  Anal Botox for:  Easier and more comfortable anal play  Anal spasms  Proctalgia fugax  Chronic fissures  Post-surgical spasm (With important safeguards to prevent incontinence)  Scro-Fill™  Scrotal filler to enhance fullness, particularly for men experiencing:  Testicular retraction  Loss of volume from testosterone suppression  Aesthetic concerns  Preference for a fuller “hang”  Penile Filler 101  How Chris approaches girth enhancement with an artist’s eye  Why anatomy varies dramatically and requires tailored technique  The dangers of “one-size-fits-all” injectors  Typical filler volumes, costs, longevity & touch-up schedules  Why shaft fillers should be placed along the sides, not the top  Preserving the dorsal nerve to maintain sexual sensation  How to counsel men who want only subtle changes vs. those wanting dramatic gains  Peyronie’s Disease & Aesthetics  Why filler cannot treat plaque—but can improve post-treatment symmetry  When cosmetic filler can help visually balance a penis after deformity  Premature Ejaculation & Fillers  Can glans filler help?  What the early research shows  Stigma, Masculinity & Why Men Want Enhancements  The shift toward openness in gay and straight communities  Generational differences in disclosure  Why older men (including 70+) are embracing enhancements  Male cosmetic procedures as the new “sports car”    Connect with Chris  Instagram: @injectorchris Clinic: Lushful Aesthetics (NY & San Diego) https://www.lushfulaesthetics.com/    Resources & Links:  Book a telehealth consult with our sexual health nurse practitioners at Restorative Health Clinic  For more information check out our websites www.rshealth.com.au , www.makehardeasy.com.au and www.melissahadleybarrett.com  Listen & Subscribe  If you found this episode helpful, don’t forget to subscribe, rate, and review the podcast! Your feedback helps us continue bringing important conversations to light. Search for The Penis Project Podcast on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, or your favourite podcast app.  Connect With Us   We love hearing from real people, navigating penile health. If y

In this episode of The Penis Project Podcast, Melissa is joined by internationally recognised intimacy expert and relationship coach Allana Pratt for a wide-ranging conversation about emotional healing, embodiment, vulnerability, and what it truly means to build meaningful, intimate relationships.  With over a decade of podcasting experience and more than 20 years working with individuals and couples, Allana brings a powerful blend of psychology, spirituality, body-based awareness, and practical tools to help people reconnect — with themselves first, and then with others.  This episode goes far beyond sex, exploring how unresolved emotional pain, self-rejection, and disconnection from the body can show up as relationship struggles, sexual dysfunction, and ongoing dissatisfaction — and how learning to truly feel can be transformative.  This episode offers a powerful reminder that sexual health is not just physical — it’s emotional, relational, and deeply human.    In This Episode, We Discuss:   Allana’s journey into intimacy and relationship coaching — and why intimacy is about far more than sex  How intimacy with self is the foundation for intimacy with others   The link between emotional suppression, trauma, and physical symptoms — including sexual dysfunction  Understanding the autonomic nervous system and emotional regulation   Why repeating relationship patterns is a sign of unresolved emotional work   What “becoming the one before finding the one” really means  Practical communication tools for couples to build safety, presence, and trust  Why structured check-ins can prevent resentment and emotional drift   Dating as a practice ground for honesty, boundaries, and self-worth   How to respond to rejection without collapsing into self-blame  Why vulnerability is a strength — not a liability    Key Takeaways  Healing doesn’t happen in the head alone — it happens through the body  Secure intimacy starts with self-acceptance, not performance or achievement  Relationships thrive when two whole people come together — not two people trying to complete each other  Communication isn’t about being right; it’s about being heard  Emotional safety allows desire, pleasure, and connection to return  About Allana Pratt  Allana Pratt is a globally recognised intimacy expert, relationship coach, and host of the Intimate Conversations Podcast, now in its 14th season. She works with individuals and couples to heal heartbreak, develop emotional resilience, and create deeply fulfilling relationships grounded in authenticity and embodiment.    How to Work with Allana  Podcast: Intimate Conversations with Allana Pratt Instagram / YouTube: @allanapratt Patreon Community: Weekly Q&A and teachings Website: www.allanapratt.com/connect   Special Offer for Penis Project listeners: Use the code READYNOW to access a subsidised Intimacy Breakthrough Experience call with Allana.    Resources & Links:  Book a telehealth consult with our sexual health nurse practitioners at Restorative Health Clinic  For more information check out our websites www.rshealth.com.au , www.makehardeasy.com.au and www.melissahadleybarrett.com  Listen & Subscribe  If you found this episode helpful, don’t forget to subscribe, rate, and review the podcast! Your feedback helps us continue bringing important conversations to light. Search for The Penis Project Podcast on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, or your favourite podcast app.  Connect With Us   We love hearing from real people, navigating penile health. If you’d like to share your journey or ask a question, get in touch. Email: [email protected]   Websites:  https://rshealth.com.au/  All genders  https://makehardeasy.com.au   https://melissahadleybarrett.com   Instagram:  https://www.instagram.com/melissahadleybarrett/  https://www.instagram.com/restorativehealth.clinic/  YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@melissahadleybarrett   TikTok: @melissahadleybarrett  Facebook: 

In this an honest and emotional episode of The Penis Project Podcast, Melissa and Kate shift the spotlight to a voice that is far too often missing in prostate cancer conversations — the partner.  Rachel bravely shares her lived experience of navigating intimacy, grief, love, patience, and reconnection after her partner underwent prostate cancer surgery. What unfolds is not a clinical education session, but a raw, validating conversation about what happens to relationships when erections, continence, desire, and confidence change overnight.  Together, they explore how prostate cancer is not just a medical diagnosis, it is a life changing event. One that impacts communication, identity, sexuality, and emotional safety on both sides.  This episode is essential listening for partners, couples, and clinicians who want to better understand the unseen emotional labour carried by those standing beside the man with the diagnosis.  In This Episode, We Discuss:  Why prostate cancer is a couple’s condition, not just a men’s health issue  The silent grief partners experience   Why erectile dysfunction, incontinence, and medicalised sex can affect intimacy  Feeling out of sync: when one partner is focused on survival and the other on connection  The loss of spontaneity, desire signals, and sexual confidence  The emotional complexity of “being supportive”  Why saying “I don’t mind if we never have sex again” can feel like rejection  The impact of ED on a partner’s sense of desirability and femininity  Navigating injections, pumps, implants   Shifting from performance and penetration to connection and shared pleasure  Practical strategies that may help   Key Takeaways  Desire doesn’t disappear after prostate cancer — it changes shape.  Partners grieve too, and their pain deserves space and validation.  Intimacy is about connection, not outcomes.  Support for partners is a glaring gap — and one that must be addressed.  Support for Partners  If you are a partner navigating life after prostate cancer and would like to connect with others in a similar situation, you can email: [email protected] (Your details can be passed on confidentially — partner anonymity respected.)    Resources & Links:  Book an in clinic or telehealth consult with our sexual health practitioners at Restorative Health Clinic  For more information check out our websites www.rshealth.com.au , www.makehardeasy.com.au and www.melissahadleybarrett.com  Book: Come Together – Emily Nagoski  Listen & Subscribe  If you found this episode helpful, don’t forget to subscribe, rate, and review the podcast! Your feedback helps us continue bringing important conversations to light. Search for The Penis Project Podcast on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, or your favourite podcast app.  Connect With Us   We love hearing from real people, navigating penile health. If you’d like to share your journey or ask a question, get in touch. Email: [email protected]   Websites:  https://rshealth.com.au/  All genders  https://makehardeasy.com.au   https://melissahadleybarrett.com   Instagram:  https://www.instagram.com/melissahadleybarrett/  https://www.instagram.com/restorativehealth.clinic/  YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@melissahadleybarrett   TikTok: @melissahadleybarrett  Facebook:  https://m.facebook.com/p/Melissa-Hadley-Barrett-100085237672685/  https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100085146627814  Linkedin:  https://www.linkedin.com/in/melissa-hadley-barrett/   TEDX:  https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=IjHj1YTmLoA   

In this candid and surprising episode, Melissa is joined by guest host Kira and anonymous guests “George and Mildred” for a deep dive into their relationship story, how menopause and erectile dysfunction impacted their marriage, and how a journey into the swinging lifestyle ultimately strengthened communication, intimacy, and connection.  This conversation explores the real relationship work behind non-monogamy, including boundaries, ground rules, consent culture at clubs, the importance of emotional safety, and how past breaches of consent can shape future intimacy.  What You’ll Hear in This Episode  How they met (army posting, friendship-first, and a hilariously blunt pickup line)   Menopause, libido changes, and the ripple effects inside a long-term relationship   What ED did to confidence, connection, and communication — and why many men withdraw silently   Their first visit to Restorative Health Clinic, and the moment treatment helped restore intimacy   The relationship rupture: online searching for connection, betrayal, and rebuilding trust   The turning point: honest conversations that revealed the issue wasn’t “just sex” — it was the relationship   How and why, they entered swinging (slowly), why it wasn’t instant confidence, and what helped   Attraction, compatibility, and why “the whole package” matters more than perfection   Sexual identity and exploration (bisexuality, comfort, and removing shame)   The “unicorn” dynamic: what it means, how it works, and why friendship matters as much as sex   Clubs explained for beginners:  what swinging clubs are like  what “play areas” are  how different venues have different vibes (more social vs more kink-friendly)   The Dom/Sub dynamic: how it developed, how they practised safely, and why education matters  Consent and confidentiality: what “yes” must look like, and why assumptions can be harmful   A powerful consent story: what happens when boundaries are crossed, and how recovery can take time   Jealousy (teased at the end): acknowledging it exists and setting up the next part of the conversation  Key Takeaways  ED and libido changes don’t just affect sex — they affect identity, confidence, and emotional connection  Silence and embarrassment can create distance in long-term relationships  Non-monogamy isn’t a “quick fix” — it often requires more communication, not less  Healthy swinging relies on boundaries, consent, and emotional safety  Consent isn’t a one-time checkbox — it’s ongoing, clear, and must be re-established  Intimacy can be rebuilt, but breaches of trust (or consent) can take months to heal    Listener Note  This episode includes frank discussion of sex, non-monogamy, and consent experiences. Please listen with care.    Resources & Links:  Book a telehealth consult with our sexual health nurse practitioners at Restorative Health Clinic  For more information check out our websites www.rshealth.com.au , www.makehardeasy.com.au and www.melissahadleybarrett.com  https://breathworkforsurfers.com.au/ Mentioned in the podcast Ryan did this program with tom Carroll  Listen & Subscribe  If you found this episode helpful, don’t forget to subscribe, rate, and review the podcast! Your feedback helps us continue bringing important conversations to light. Search for The Penis Project Podcast on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, or your favourite podcast app.  Connect With Us   We love hearing from real people, navigating penile health. If you’d like to share your journey or ask a question, get in touch. Email: [email protected]   Websites:  https://rshealth.com.au/  All genders  https://makehardeasy.com.au   https://melissahadleybarrett.com   Instagram:  https://www.instagram.com/melissahadleybarrett/  https://www.instagram.com/restorativehealth.clinic/  YouTube: https://www.youtube.com/@melissahadleybarrett   TikTok: @melissahadleybarrett  Facebook:  https://m.facebook.com/p/Melissa-Hadley-Barrett-10008