Rewrite the Mother Code with Dr. Gertrude Lyons

In this profound episode, I sit down with Chameli Ardagh, a yogini, mystic, and founder of Awakening Women. Chameli shares her powerful personal journey, beginning with a childhood in Norway deeply connected to nature but marked by family volatility. She recounts her early escape into spirituality as a way to transcend suffering, only to realize later, through a pivotal moment of reckoning, that true spiritual awakening requires full embodiment and confronting our own internal "warfare".Our conversation delves deep into the concept of the Divine Feminine and how patriarchal structures have historically co-opted or erased goddess wisdom. Chameli illuminates how ancient myths, from the Greek god Apollo to the Norse god Odin, reflect a pattern of conquering and stealing feminine wisdom rather than honoring it. We explore the transformative power of women gathering in circles, leaving dogma at the door, and using embodiment practices like dance and song to reconnect with their innate spiritual authority.Chameli passionately describes her work in creating spaces, both online and through retreats in Greece, where women can reclaim their "golden mead" of wisdom without needing a middleman. We discuss the critical need for a new way of living that honors the "mother code" at the center of existence, moving from power-over to power-with, and birthing a future rooted in balance and love.You'll also hear about:(04:05) Chameli's upbringing in Norway and her early spiritual seeking as an escape from suffering.(07:46) Her "9/11 moment" of realizing her internal state mirrored the warfare in the world, leading to a shift from transcendence to embodiment.(14:33) Meeting the goddesses as a "hall of mirrors," revealing that all expressions, even anger and lust, can be holy.(20:48) How mythology illustrates the "top-down, exploitive energy" of the left brain conquering the body and feminine wisdom.(30:36) The story of Odin stealing the "golden mead" of wisdom from a giant goddess, a metaphor for patriarchal appropriation of feminine knowledge.(34:39) The importance of not burning down the old structures but "walking away" to create new, life-affirming systems.(40:36) Chameli's Summer Goddess Ashram in Corfu, Greece: a space for women to refill their inner wells through dance, ritual, and connection.(53:23) Chameli's definition of "Rewrite the Mother Code": a reclamation of the mother principle as the center of life and a rewriting of our future in partnership with evolution.Rate, Review, & Follow on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, YouTube, or wherever you listen to podcasts!Learn more about Chameli ArdaghLearn more on Chameli's WebsiteListen to the Living Goddess PodcastFollow Dr. Gertrude: Learn more on Dr. Gertrude’s WebsiteFollow Dr. Gertrude on InstagramStay in the loop and sign up to Dr. Gertrude’s SubstackOrder Dr. Gertrude’s new book “Rewrite the Mother Code”

In this powerful episode, I sit down with Whitney Walker, a licensed marriage and family therapist, recovery coach, spiritual guide, and host of the Women Waken podcast. Whitney shares her incredibly raw and vulnerable journey, from a childhood marked by an absent father and an emotionally immature mother to struggling with debilitating low self-esteem, addiction, and eating disorders in her 20s.She opens up about hitting rock bottom, a moment where she realized "time's run out" on the chaos and just wanted peace, and how that catalyzed her profound transformation. We explore the concept of addiction as a symptom of not feeling safe or "enough" and the societal conditioning that breeds fear and competition instead of connection.Our conversation delves deep into the power of the Divine Feminine, contrasting it with the "force" of masculine energy, and how embracing flow, intuition, and collective care can heal both individuals and society. Whitney passionately discusses the need for women to trust their inner wisdom, stand their ground with clarity (like the Queen of Swords in Tarot), and create new systems based on love rather than fear.You'll also hear about:(04:03) Whitney's "brutal yet beautiful" 20s, marked by addiction and insecurity, and finding peace and power turning 40.(09:44) Addiction as a search for soothing in a world where we don't feel safe or believe we are our own source of healing.(14:38) Growing up with an emotionally absent father and the impact of conditional love on a child's sense of worth.(17:39) The simplicity of the solution for humanity: knowing we are safe and loved.(27:57) How we "play by the rules of the game that we choose to play" and the power of disengaging from dysfunctional systems.(36:01) The "Queen of Swords" energy: deliberate action, clarity, and setting boundaries without malice.(40:30) Being wary of gurus who claim their way is the only way, and trusting your own intuition.(47:19) Whitney's beautiful definition of "Rewrite the Mother Code": recognizing that we all have the ability to mother—to love, nurture, and see others—regardless of whether we have children.Rate, Review, & Follow on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, YouTube, or wherever you listen to podcasts!Learn more about Whitney Walker:Learn more on Whitney's WebsiteFollow Whitney on Instagram (DM her to connect!)Listen to the Women Waken PodcastFollow Dr. Gertrude: Learn more on Dr. Gertrude’s WebsiteFollow Dr. Gertrude on InstagramStay in the loop and sign up to Dr. Gertrude’s SubstackOrder Dr. Gertrude’s new book “Rewrite the Mother Code”

In this insightful episode, Dr. Gertrude Lyons welcomes Emily Paulsen, an award-winning entrepreneur, brand strategist through her studio Electric Collab, and host of the Curious Life of a Child-Free Woman podcast. Emily is dedicated to shining a light on the often-overshadowed child-free by choice perspective.Their conversation centers on the powerful collision of the "mother code" world with the child-free narrative, demonstrating that the essence of mothering is universal, regardless of motherhood status. Emily shares her deep personal passion for empowering women, describing "girlfriends" as her love language. This passion for female community is what Dr. Lyons connects to the core of self-mothering, explaining that while the spark begins within, the "blaze" is ignited and kept alive in sisterhood.They discuss how patriarchal and over-masculine value systems have historically sought to disempower women by splitting them up and pitting them against each other. The episode also tackles the intense societal judgment placed on women, referencing the shocking death threats received by a woman who dared to write about "regretting having children". Emily also details her work with Electric Collab, which is focused on helping women entrepreneurs and founders articulate their unique value and "secret sauce" to the world through premium branding.You'll also hear about:(03:08) The challenge for women to define themselves beyond statistics (job, marital status, kids) .(03:25) Emily's lifelong passion for female community, calling "girlfriends" her love language.(03:30) Her frustration as a cheerleader that their job was to root for boys, not celebrate the women's own accomplishments.(05:10) Emily's continued commitment to female community through college and career, and her current work to professionally and personally build other women up.(06:00) Dr. Gertrude Lyons's distinction between mothering (universal) and motherhood (choice), and the critical importance of self-mothering.(07:18) Why the self-mothering flame is amplified in community and how the separation of women is a tool of disempowerment.(07:53) How patriarchal and over-masculine value systems intentionally split and pit women against each other to disempower them.(20:19) The profound and hostile reaction, including death threats, a woman received for sharing her truth about "regretting having children".(29:51) How the word "selfish" is weaponized against women on both sides of the parenting divide—whether for not having kids or for having them.(38:40) The importance of normalizing child-free lives beyond celebrities like Oprah and Dolly Parton to show that it is a valid, happy path for everyday women.(42:23) The workplace bias that assumes child-free women have unlimited free time and should pick up the slack.(49:40) Why parents should include child-free friends in kid-centric events rather than assuming they don't want to attend to avoid creating an "echo chamber".(51:40) Emily's work with her brand studio, Electric Collab, to help women entrepreneurs articulate their unique "secret sauce" and value.Rate, Review, & Follow on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, YouTube, or wherever you listen to podcasts!Learn more about Emily Paulsen:Learn more on Emily's WebsiteListen to the Curious Life of a Child-Free Woman PodcastFollow Dr. Gertrude: Learn more on Dr. Gertrude’s WebsiteFollow Dr. Gertrude on InstagramStay in the loop and sign up to Dr. Gertrude’s SubstackOrder Dr. Gertrude’s new book “Rewrite the Mother Code”

In this deeply moving episode, I speak with Ronit Plank, a writer, teacher, editor, and host of the Let's Talk Memoir podcast. Ronit is the author of the award-winning memoir When She Comes Back, which chronicles the loss of her mother to the guru Bhagwan Shree Rajneesh and their eventual reconciliation.Ronit shares her powerful story of growing up with a mother who left her and her sister to follow a guru in India, and her father who then became a single parent. We explore the profound impact of abandonment, the role of the "parentified" child, and how Ronit navigated these wounds into her own motherhood journey.Our conversation delves into the transformative power of memoir writing as a tool for healing. Ronit explains how writing her story allowed her to reframe her narrative, understand her parents as complex individuals rather than villains, and move from a place of victimhood to one of agency and acceptance. We discuss the nuances of forgiveness versus acceptance, the importance of taking responsibility for our own patterns in relationships, and why sharing our authentic, messy stories is a vital act of connection and self-mothering.You'll also hear about:(01:39) Ronit's childhood: born on a kibbutz in Israel, moving to the US, and her mother leaving for India to follow Bhagwan Shree Rajneesh.(04:55) The experience of being a "parentified" older daughter and the lasting impact of early abandonment.(08:09) How memoir writing helps reframe personal history and create a "redemptive narrative".(20:19) Why Ronit prefers the concept of "acceptance" over "forgiveness" when healing family relationships.(25:43) Understanding our own role in family dynamics and taking responsibility for our coping mechanisms.(33:07) The varied reactions of Ronit's family members to her memoir, including her father's surprising feedback.(43:18) Exploring the "mother who leaves" archetype with compassion and understanding the complex reasons behind such choices.(52:07) Ronit's definition of "Rewrite the Mother Code": tuning into intuition and not abandoning oneself while nurturing others.Join us for this insightful conversation about the power of story, the complexity of family, and the healing journey of rewriting our own narratives.Rate, Review, & Follow on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, YouTube, or wherever you listen to podcasts!Learn more about Ronit Plank:Learn more on Ronit's WebsiteConnect with Ronit on LinkedInListen to the Let's Talk Memoir PodcastFollow Ronit on InstagramFollow Dr. Gertrude: Learn more on Dr. Gertrude’s WebsiteFollow Dr. Gertrude on InstagramStay in the loop and sign up to Dr. Gertrude’s SubstackOrder Dr. Gertrude’s new book “Rewrite the Mother Code”

In this powerful episode, I sit down with Diane Ortega, a Certified Nurse Midwife and co-founder of the first nurse-midwife-owned freestanding birth center in Arizona. Diane shares her personal journey from being an office manager to becoming a midwife, a path inspired by her own "profoundly different" and empowering birth experience with midwives after a conventional hospital birth.Our conversation is a deep dive into the philosophy of midwifery as an act of "mothering the mother". We discuss the "medical-industrial complex" and how the current system often disempowers women through fear-based tactics, taking away their choices in a process that should be empowering. Diane challenges the "healthy mom, healthy baby" narrative, pointing out that it often dismisses the emotional trauma a mother may experience during birth, which she then has to process while navigating new motherhood.Diane also introduces her podcast and coaching brand, "The Midwife Life" , which expands the concept of midwifery beyond childbirth to support all women "midwifing something in their life" —whether it's new motherhood or a midlife career change. We explore the critical need for a "village," a community of support that is often missing for modern women, and how she is building programs to help women find that connection.You'll also hear about:(01:32) Diane's work making out-of-hospital birth accessible to more families by accepting almost all insurance.(03:30) How she views midwifery and mothering as "very similar, if not the same".(13:15) The fear-based culture surrounding birth and how it disempowers women from trusting their bodies.(22:21) Why birth is "not a medical event until it is," and how hospital protocols are often based on tradition, not evidence.(23:20) My personal story of choosing a home birth, which was sparked by the simple, primal desires to be able to eat and control the lighting.(27:57) The loss of the "village" for modern mothers and the isolation that comes from being a "transplant" without family support.(38:23) The one cultural mother code Diane would rewrite: the "ridiculous" expectation that women should "bounce right back" after giving birth.(43:52) My update on my TEDx talk being censored for including information on the high U.S. maternal mortality rate and the "hostile takeover" of birth from midwives.(49:43) Diane's final definition of "Rewrite the Mother Code": "releasing the societal norms" and "put[ting] our oxygen mask on first".Rate, Review, & Follow on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, YouTube, or wherever you listen to podcasts!Learn more about Diane OrtegaLearn more on her WebsiteFollow her on InstagramListen to her PodcastLearn more about her Coaching ProgramFollow Dr. Gertrude: Learn more on Dr. Gertrude’s WebsiteFollow Dr. Gertrude on InstagramStay in the loop and sign up to Dr. Gertrude’s SubstackOrder Dr. Gertrude’s new book “Rewrite the Mother Code”