Trauma Rewired

There is a difference between feeling ashamed and living inside shame. One is a passing signal. The other is the background atmosphere of an entire nervous system. In this episode, Jennifer Wallace and Elisabeth Kristof go deep on toxic shame as the next distinguishing characteristic of complex trauma in their CPT series. This is one of the most personal episodes they have recorded. Both hosts share what shame actually sounded like at its loudest in their lives, the specific words, the body states, the loops that ran for years before they had any way to interrupt them. And they are honest about where they still meet it today. Toxic shame in complex trauma is not just a feeling that shows up after a mistake. It is an identity state. It shifts from "I did something wrong" to "I am wrong." It shapes posture, vocal tone, breath, gaze, and the way the body interprets every social interaction as potential exposure or rejection. And because it developed in relationship, specifically in environments where expressing needs or emotions led to punishment, abandonment, or humiliation, it becomes deeply tied to every relational experience that follows. Elisabeth and Jennifer trace the full arc of how shame develops, from the child who cannot afford to see their caregiver as unsafe and so turns the blame inward, to the adult who moves through professional and personal relationships with a chronic bracing for exposure. They cover the neurobiology in depth: what the insula, default mode network, and vagus nerve have to do with chronic shame states, why shame can both amplify and numb internal sensation at the same time, and how shame formation, the physiological pairing of emotional shame states with immune and inflammatory responses, helps explain the health outcomes seen in adverse childhood experience research. The conversation also covers the double bind of shame in complex trauma, the trap of needing connection while also bracing for what connection has always brought. How shame drives substance use and disordered eating as regulation strategies. How systemic and cultural forces layer onto developmental shame in ways that make the pattern larger than any individual. And what post-traumatic growth actually looks like here: not confidence, not the absence of shame, but a little more space between the wave and the response, a little longer staying present in the body before the collapse happens, and gradually, relationships where being imperfect does not mean being abandoned. In This Episode, You Will Learn: Why toxic shame in complex trauma shifts from an emotion into an identity state How shame develops as a survival strategy when caregivers are unsafe and self-blame becomes the only available adaptation Why shame is not just cognitive but embodied, showing up in posture, vocal tone, breath, gaze, and gesture What shame formation is and how chronic shame states are linked to inflammation, immune dysregulation, and the health outcomes in ACE research How the insula, default mode network, and vagus nerve are involved in chronic shame patterning Why shame can simultaneously amplify and numb internal sensation and what that means for healing The double bind of shame: needing connection while bracing against it How systemic and cultural shaming layers onto developmental shame and why the nervous system cannot fully distinguish between them How shame drives substance use and disordered eating as regulation strategies and why the shame-use cycle is so hard to interrupt What post-traumatic growth looks like in relation to shame: not the absence of it, but increased range, flexibility, and capacity to stay present with it How accountability, relational repair, and allowing others to have their own experience gradually shifts the shame pattern Chapters 0:00 - The Difference Between Feeling Ashamed and Living Inside Shame 0:33 - Welcome: Toxic Shame Through the Lens of Complex PTSD 1:54 - What Shame Actually Is: A Whole Body Physiological Response 2:14 - When Shame Becomes an Identity State 3:01 - Shame in the Body: Posture, Voice, Breath, and Withdrawal 3:34 - Systemic and Cultural Shame: When the Group Itself Is Dysregulated 5:55 - Shame as the Emotion That Represses All Other Emotions 7:15 - How Shame Develops in Complex Trauma: The Child Who Cannot Blame the Caregiver 8:48 - Everything Is My Fault as a State of Being 9:43 - Jennifer and Elisabeth Share What Shame Sounded Like at Its Loudest 11:28 - How Shame Physically Inhibits Expression 12:09 - The Double Bind: Needing Connection While Bracing Against It 14:00 - The Neurobiology: Insula, Freeze, Dissociation, and No Safe Discharge 17:31 - Large Scale Neural Patterning: DMN Loops, Reward Signaling, and Oxytocin 18:36 - What Shame Looks Like Now for Jennifer and Elisabeth 23:51 - Shame Formation: Inflammation, the Vagus Nerve, and ACE Research 26:43 - The Shame and Substance Use Cycle 30:28 - How Both Hosts Used Substances to Regulate Shame 34:15 - Systemic Shame and the Brain's Drive for Belonging 36:10 - What Post-Traumatic Growth Actually Looks Like With Shame 38:51 - Relational Healing: Repair, Accountability, and Letting Someone Love You Imperfectly 41:14 - Allowing Another Person to Have Their Experience Without Collapsing Resources and Links NSI Foundations Bundle for coaches and practitioners: neurosomaticintelligence.com/foundations Two week Rewire Trial of guided neuro somatic training: rewiretrial.com Learn more about Elisabeth's work at brainbased.com Learn more about Jennifer's work at her YouTube channel: Sacred Synapse https://www.youtube.com/@sacredsynapse-23 Trauma Rewired podcast is intended to educate and inform but does not constitute medical, psychological or other professional advice or services. Always consult a qualified medical professional about your specific circumstances before making any decisions based on what you hear. We share our experiences, explore trauma, physical reactions, mental health and disease. If you become distressed by our content, please stop listening and seek professional support when needed. Do not continue to listen if the conversations are having a negative impact on your health and well-being. If you or someone you know is struggling with their mental health, or in mental health crisis and you are in the United States you can 988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline. If someone's life is in danger, immediately call 911. We do our best to stay current in research, but older episodes are always available. We don't warrant or guarantee that this podcast contains complete, accurate or up-to-date information. It's very important to talk to a medical professional about your individual needs, as we aren't responsible for any actions you take based on the information you hear in this podcast. We invite guests onto the podcast. Please note that we don't verify the accuracy of their statements. Our organization does not endorse third-party content and the views of our guests do not necessarily represent the views of our organization. We talk about general neuro-science and nervous system health, but you are unique. These are conversations for a wide audience. They are general recommendations and you are always advised to seek personal care for your unique outputs, trauma and needs. We are not doctors or licensed medical professionals. We are certified neuro-somatic practitioners and nervous system health/embodiment coaches. We are not your doctor or medical professional and do not know you and your unique nervous system. This podcast is not a replacement for working with a professional. The BrainBased.com site and Rewiretrail.com is a membership site for general nervous system health, somatic processing and stress processing. It is not a substitute for medical care or the appropriate solution for anyone in mental health crisis. Any examples mentioned in this podcast are for illustration purposes only. If they are based on real events, names have been changed to protect the identities of those involved. We've done our best to ensure our podcast respects the intellectual property rights of others, however if you have an issue with our content, please let us know by emailing us at [email protected] All rights in our content are reserved

Everyone has a critical inner voice. But if you grew up in an environment shaped by chronic relational stress, that voice does not just comment. It runs. It loops. It drives your body into a stress state before you have even finished the thought. In this episode, Jennifer Wallace and Elisabeth Kristof explore the inner critic as the next distinguishing characteristic of complex trauma in their ongoing CPT series. This is not a conversation about toxic positivity or affirmations. It is a precise, neuroscience-grounded look at why the inner critic develops, what it is actually doing in the brain and nervous system, and what it genuinely takes to loosen its grip over time. The inner critic is a predictive safety mechanism. It developed to preempt rejection, suppress behaviors that previously led to punishment, and maintain attachment in environments where connection felt conditional. It is not your core self. It is a learned neural pattern rooted in threat detection and self-referential processing that, once formed, keeps running because it worked. Or at least, it worked enough. Jennifer and Elisabeth trace how chronic relational stress reorganizes the default mode network around threat rather than flexible identity development, what the medial prefrontal cortex and posterior cingulate cortex have to do with rumination and shame-based identity loops, and why children with developmental trauma learn to blame themselves for relational failures that were never their fault in the first place. They also go deep on the outward expression of the same pattern: the external critic, the person who micromanages, projects, and stays braced and guarded because the nervous system is still predicting the letdown. Both hosts bring this into their own lived experience with real honesty. Elisabeth talks about the constant body-focused narrator that used to run during recording sessions. Jennifer shares what the inner critic sounds like when she is launching something new and putting her voice out into the world. Neither of them is pretending it is gone. They are showing what it looks like when it no longer runs the show. The episode closes with practical, nervous system-grounded pathways for working with the inner critic, including why celebration and reward matter more than positive thinking, how oxytocin-mediated safety gradually quiets social threat monitoring, and why the most important move is not arguing with the voice but interrupting the loop at the body level first. In This Episode, You Will Learn: Why the inner critic is a predictive nervous system adaptation, not a reflection of truth or identity How chronic relational stress reorganizes the default mode network around threat and self-monitoring What the medial prefrontal cortex and posterior cingulate cortex have to do with rumination and the inner critic Why children with developmental trauma internalize relational failures as personal flaws How perfectionism, body criticism, and post-performance crashes are all outputs of the same underlying pattern What the external critic is, why it always coexists with a loud inner critic, and how to recognize it in yourself Why you cannot think your way out of the inner critic loop and what actually interrupts it How the ventral striatum and reward signaling can be used to reinforce new behaviors and self-expression Why oxytocin-mediated safety, through connection, touch, nature, and sensory pleasure, reduces the social threat driving the critic What post-traumatic growth actually looks like in relation to the inner critic: not eliminating it, but expanding capacity beyond it Chapter Markers 0:00 - The Inner Critic as a Distinguishing Characteristic of Complex Trauma 0:58 - Welcome: What the Inner Critic Actually Is 1:49 - Jennifer and Elisabeth Share Their Own Inner Critic Experiences 4:36 - Why This Matters: Recognizing Complex Trauma in the Patterns 5:33 - The Difference Between a Normal Inner Critic and a Trauma-Amplified One 7:11 - The Neuro Biology: How the Inner Critic Develops as a Protective Pattern 8:28 - How Authenticity Becomes a Threat Signal 10:38 - The Default Mode Network and Self-Referential Rumination 13:52 - What the Growth Edge Actually Feels Like in Practice 17:05 - The Brain Science: The Default Mode Network, Medial PFC, and Posterior Cingulate 19:22 - Why Developmental Trauma Teaches Children to Blame Themselves 21:10 - How to Interrupt the Loop: Sensory Anchoring, Movement, and Tools 23:18 - Working With State to Shift the Story 24:51 - Perfectionism as an Output of the Inner Critic 28:11 - Why We Stay Stuck in the Loop Even When We Know Better 29:12 - The Ventral Striatum, Reward Signaling, and Why Celebrating Small Wins Matters 35:57 - Oxytocin, Social Safety, and Softening the Hypervigilance 39:49 - The External Critic: When the Inner Voice Gets Projected Outward 43:03 - Post-Traumatic Growth and the Inner Critic: What Actually Changes Ways to Engage with Neurosomatics Join us inside Rewire: This is where you actually experience the practices Jennifer and Elisabeth talk about on the podcast that brought us freedom, self-attunement, a new relationship with food and our body. rewiretrial.com Explore the neurosomatics of boundaries: boundaryrewire.com Introduction to neurosomatics for practitioners, coaches and therapists - The NSI foundations Bundle: https://neurosomaticintelligence.com/workshops/ Wayfinder Journal: Track nervous system patterns and support preparation and integration through Neurosomatic Intelligence: https://stan.store/illuminated Join Jennifer on Sacred Synapse to explore the intersection of neurosomatics and Psychedelic neuroscience: https://www.youtube.com/@sacredsynapse-23 Support the podcast by supporting our sponsors: FREE 1 Year Supply of Vitamin D + 5 Travel Packs from Athletic Greens when you use my exclusive offer: https://www.drinkag1.com/rewired Trauma Rewired podcast is intended to educate and inform but does not constitute medical, psychological or other professional advice or services. Always consult a qualified medical professional about your specific circumstances before making any decisions based on what you hear. We share our experiences, explore trauma, physical reactions, mental health and disease. If you become distressed by our content, please stop listening and seek professional support when needed. Do not continue to listen if the conversations are having a negative impact on your health and well-being. If you or someone you know is struggling with their mental health, or in mental health crisis and you are in the United States you can 988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline. If someone's life is in danger, immediately call 911. We do our best to stay current in research, but older episodes are always available. We don't warrant or guarantee that this podcast contains complete, accurate or up-to-date information. It's very important to talk to a medical professional about your individual needs, as we aren't responsible for any actions you take based on the information you hear in this podcast. We invite guests onto the podcast. Please note that we don't verify the accuracy of their statements. Our organization does not endorse third-party content and the views of our guests do not necessarily represent the views of our organization. We talk about general neuro-science and nervous system health, but you are unique. These are conversations for a wide audience. They are general recommendations and you are always advised to seek personal care for your unique outputs, trauma and needs. We are not doctors or licensed medical professionals. We are certified neuro-somatic practitioners and nervous system health/embodiment coaches. We are not your doctor or medical professional and do not know you and your unique nervous system. This podcast is not a replacement for working with a professional. The BrainBased.com site and Rewiretrail.com is a membership site for general nervous system health, somatic processing and stress processing. It is not a substitute for medical care or the appropriate solution for anyone in mental health crisis. Any examples mentioned in this podcast are for illustration purposes only. If they are based on real events, names have been changed to protect the identities of those involved. We've done our best to ensure our podcast respects the intellectual property rights of others, however if you have an issue with our content, please let us know by emailing us at [email protected] All rights in our content are reserved

The deepest wound in complex trauma is not emotional intensity. It is the learned loss of connection to yourself. In this episode, Jennifer Wallace and Elisabeth Kristof open the next chapter of the CPT series by starting where the roots go deepest: self-abandonment. This is the pattern they chose to name first—and intentionally so—because when the nervous system learns that staying connected to the self is unsafe, nearly every other complex trauma response grows from that adaptation. Self-abandonment is not a personality flaw or a lack of self-awareness. It is a body-based survival strategy. From a neurosomatic perspective, it is a state-dependent loss of interoceptive access—a patterned inhibition of internal signals that the nervous system learned in order to stay attached, stay safe, and maintain stability in the relational environment. And like every other output explored in this series, it made complete sense at the time it formed. The conversation moves through the neuroscience of dissociation and how it is inseparable from self-abandonment, the brain regions involved, and what their altered activity actually looks like in everyday life. It explores the fawn response—including its lesser-discussed dimension of sexual fawning—and the specific pathways through which emotional neglect and parentification set the stage for chronic self-erasure. Jennifer and Elisabeth also trace how masking—whether in the context of neurodivergence, complex trauma, or systemic oppression—is another expression of the same root pattern: authenticity does not feel safe, so the self gets hidden. But this episode does not stop at the wound. Both hosts share what the growth edge of this pattern has actually looked like for them—what building interoceptive capacity from the ground up felt like in practice—and how self-attunement, the skill of staying present with internal experience without becoming overwhelmed by it, gradually became accessible rather than threatening. This is not a quick-fix episode. It is an honest, grounded map of one of the most pervasive and least visible patterns in complex trauma—and a clear-eyed account of what actually changes it. In This Episode, You Will Learn: Why self abandonment is a survival adaptation rooted in the nervous system, not a character flaw How interoceptive access becomes inhibited under chronic relational threat, and what that feels like day to day The neuroscience of dissociation: which brain regions are involved and how their altered activity drives functional disconnection Why emotional neglect, even without overt harm, sets the stage for chronic self erasure How parentification creates a nervous system template of self abandonment that persists long into adulthood What fawn response is, how it operates neurologically, and why sexual fawning is a real and undernamed expression of it How masking across contexts including neurodivergence, complex trauma, and racial and systemic oppression overlaps with and compounds self abandonment What self attunement actually is as a nervous system skill and how it is different from insight or emotional processing alone Why healing is capacity-based rather than cathartic, and what that means for pacing How both hosts have rebuilt interoceptive access over time and what that process has opened up for them Chapters 0:00 - The Deepest Wound in Complex Trauma Is Not Emotional Intensity 0:38 - Welcome: Who This Episode Is For 1:27 - Introducing the CPT Series and Why We Start With Self Abandonment 2:53 - Defining Self Abandonment as a Nervous System Output 4:21 - Pete Walker, Fawn Responses, and How the Child Learns to Attune Outward 4:47 - The Neuro Somatic View: Interoceptive Access Under Chronic Threat 6:08 - Embodiment as the Opposite of Self Abandonment 6:35 - Collective and Intergenerational Dimensions of Self Abandonment 7:55 - What Self Abandonment Looks Like in Real Life: A Case Study 9:21 - Dissociation: What It Actually Is and Why It Is Inseparable From Self Abandonment 10:42 - Brain Science: The Insula, Hippocampus, Amygdala, and Thalamus 14:35 - The Fawn Response and Sexual Fawning 18:17 - Self Attunement: The Opposite of Self Abandonment 21:06 - Rebuilding Interoception: Starting Small 27:19 - Emotional Neglect as the Root of Self Abandonment 29:13 - Parentification and the Template of Self Erasure 31:21 - Masking: Neurodivergence, Systemic Oppression, and Complex Trauma 36:19 - What Growth Has Actually Looked Like for Jennifer and Elisabeth 40:20 - Stress Bucket Dysmorphia and Learning Your Real Capacity Resources and Links NSI Foundations Bundle for coaches and practitioners: neurosomaticintelligence.com/foundations Two week Rewire Trial of guided neuro somatic training: rewiretrial.com Learn more about Jennifer's work at her YouTube channel: Sacred Synapse https://www.youtube.com/@sacredsynapse-23 Trauma Rewired podcast is intended to educate and inform but does not constitute medical, psychological or other professional advice or services. Always consult a qualified medical professional about your specific circumstances before making any decisions based on what you hear. We share our experiences, explore trauma, physical reactions, mental health and disease. If you become distressed by our content, please stop listening and seek professional support when needed. Do not continue to listen if the conversations are having a negative impact on your health and well-being. If you or someone you know is struggling with their mental health, or in mental health crisis and you are in the United States you can 988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline. If someone's life is in danger, immediately call 911. We do our best to stay current in research, but older episodes are always available. We don't warrant or guarantee that this podcast contains complete, accurate or up-to-date information. It's very important to talk to a medical professional about your individual needs, as we aren't responsible for any actions you take based on the information you hear in this podcast. We invite guests onto the podcast. Please note that we don't verify the accuracy of their statements. Our organization does not endorse third-party content and the views of our guests do not necessarily represent the views of our organization. We talk about general neuro-science and nervous system health, but you are unique. These are conversations for a wide audience. They are general recommendations and you are always advised to seek personal care for your unique outputs, trauma and needs. We are not doctors or licensed medical professionals. We are certified neuro-somatic practitioners and nervous system health/embodiment coaches. We are not your doctor or medical professional and do not know you and your unique nervous system. This podcast is not a replacement for working with a professional. The BrainBased.com site and Rewiretrail.com is a membership site for general nervous system health, somatic processing and stress processing. It is not a substitute for medical care or the appropriate solution for anyone in mental health crisis. Any examples mentioned in this podcast are for illustration purposes only. If they are based on real events, names have been changed to protect the identities of those involved. We've done our best to ensure our podcast respects the intellectual property rights of others, however if you have an issue with our content, please let us know by emailing us at [email protected] All rights in our content are reserved

You could not think your way out of the pattern. That is not a failure of insight. That is the nature of complex trauma. In this episode, Jennifer Wallace and Elisabeth Kristof return to one of the most resonant threads in Trauma Rewired's history: complex post-traumatic stress. Several years ago they recorded a series on CPT that changed how thousands of listeners understood themselves. This is the revision. Not a replacement of what came before, but a deepening, one shaped by advances in trauma research, neuroscience, and by the hosts' own continued growth. The reframe at the center of this episode is one that matters: complex trauma is not a disorder. It is not something wrong with you. It is a predictive nervous system pattern, an intelligent set of adaptations shaped by prolonged relational stress, often beginning in childhood, that made complete sense in the environment they were formed in. The question is not what is wrong with you. The question is what did your nervous system learn and how can it learn something new? Elisabeth and Jennifer trace the history of CPT as a clinical concept, from Judith Hermann's early naming of what PTSD could not capture, through Pete Walker's lived experience framework, into the current neuroscience of predictive patterning, interoception, and the body as the site of both the wound and the healing. They explain why complex trauma has no single memory to point to, why it often lives in sensation and state rather than narrative, and why that means healing looks different here than it does for single-event trauma. The episode also goes deep on something that does not get named enough in healing spaces: the trap of the healing vortex. The way that understanding complex trauma can become its own form of nervous system activation, another thing to fix, another layer to excavate, another reason the system cannot rest. Real growth, they argue, requires repetition and safety and time, but it also requires rest, play, and the gradual experience of being okay in the present moment without urgency. This episode opens the new CPT series and previews what is coming: the inner critic, toxic shame, social anxiety, emotional flashbacks, and self-abandonment, each explored not as pathology but as nervous system strategies that once served a purpose and can now be worked with differently. In This Episode, You Will Learn: Why complex trauma is better understood as a predictive nervous system pattern than a disorder The difference between CPT and PTSD and why that distinction matters for healing Why there is often no single memory in complex trauma, and why the experience lives in the body instead How interoception becomes disrupted in the context of chronic relational stress Why the nervous system seeks familiar environments, even harmful ones, and how that perpetuates the cycle How systemic and cultural trauma shapes the nervous system in the same way interpersonal trauma does What neuroplasticity actually requires: repetition, safety, and time, not insight alone Why pushing too hard into somatic work can backfire, and what pacing actually looks like How the healing vortex keeps people stuck and what stepping out of it makes possible What observer capacity is, why it is one of the most important markers of growth, and how it develops A preview of the five distinguishing characteristics of CPT that will be explored throughout the series Chapter Markers 0:00 - CPT Shows Up Most Clearly in Relationships 1:13 - Welcome: Revisiting the Complex Trauma Series 2:04 - Why We Are Updating This Framework Now 4:25 - What Complex Trauma Is and Where the Term Came From 6:19 - Judith Hermann, Pete Walker, and Why This Language Matters 7:15 - Why We Use CPT Instead of CPTSD 8:07 - The Distinguishing Patterns: How Complex Trauma Shows Up 10:16 - DSM vs ICD-11: The Diagnosis Question 11:38 - CPT vs PTSD: Different Patterns, Different Healing 13:08 - When There Is No Memory: Implicit Patterning and the Developing Brain 15:20 - CPT as a Predictive Nervous System Pattern 17:09 - The Five Distinguishing Characteristics of CPT 18:07 - Trauma Lives in the Body, Not Just the Story 20:56 - Complex Trauma Is Fundamentally Relational 22:21 - Re-Patterning Secure Attachment Through Somatics 26:35 - Embodied Presence as the Foundation 29:55 - Systemic and Cultural Trauma: This Is Not Only Individual 34:24 - Pacing, Rest, and the Healing Vortex 37:24 - The Role of Play and Pleasure in Nervous System Re-Patterning 41:18 - Building Observer Capacity: The Shift From This Is Who I Am to This Is Happening in Me 43:22 - What Is Coming in the Rest of the CPT Series Resources and Links NSI Foundations Bundle for coaches and practitioners: neurosomaticintelligence.com/foundations Two week Rewire Trial of guided neuro somatic training: rewiretrial.com Learn more about Elisabeth's work at brainbased.com Learn more about Jennifer's work at her YouTube channel: Sacred Synapse https://www.youtube.com/@sacredsynapse-23 Trauma Rewired podcast is intended to educate and inform but does not constitute medical, psychological or other professional advice or services. Always consult a qualified medical professional about your specific circumstances before making any decisions based on what you hear. We share our experiences, explore trauma, physical reactions, mental health and disease. If you become distressed by our content, please stop listening and seek professional support when needed. Do not continue to listen if the conversations are having a negative impact on your health and well-being. If you or someone you know is struggling with their mental health, or in mental health crisis and you are in the United States you can 988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline. If someone's life is in danger, immediately call 911. We do our best to stay current in research, but older episodes are always available. We don't warrant or guarantee that this podcast contains complete, accurate or up-to-date information. It's very important to talk to a medical professional about your individual needs, as we aren't responsible for any actions you take based on the information you hear in this podcast. We invite guests onto the podcast. Please note that we don't verify the accuracy of their statements. Our organization does not endorse third-party content and the views of our guests do not necessarily represent the views of our organization. We talk about general neuro-science and nervous system health, but you are unique. These are conversations for a wide audience. They are general recommendations and you are always advised to seek personal care for your unique outputs, trauma and needs. We are not doctors or licensed medical professionals. We are certified neuro-somatic practitioners and nervous system health/embodiment coaches. We are not your doctor or medical professional and do not know you and your unique nervous system. This podcast is not a replacement for working with a professional. The BrainBased.com site and Rewiretrail.com is a membership site for general nervous system health, somatic processing and stress processing. It is not a substitute for medical care or the appropriate solution for anyone in mental health crisis. Any examples mentioned in this podcast are for illustration purposes only. If they are based on real events, names have been changed to protect the identities of those involved. We've done our best to ensure our podcast respects the intellectual property rights of others, however if you have an issue with our content, please let us know by emailing us at [email protected] All rights in our content are reserved

You were not failing at your diet. Your nervous system was doing exactly what it learned to do to survive. In this episode, Jennifer Wallace and Elisabeth Kristof go deep on one of the most personal and most pervasive patterns they have both lived through: the disordered relationship with food and the body. Building on their recent conversation with Luis Mojica, this is the episode where they go further, bringing the neuroscience, the lived experience, and the practical path forward into a single, honest conversation. Both hosts have a long history with binge eating disorder. For decades, food was the primary regulation strategy, the way the nervous system found relief from stress it had no other tools to process, the way the body found pleasure when pleasure felt dangerous, and the way a dysregulated system managed to keep functioning. They are not talking about this from the outside. They are talking about it from the other side. The conversation moves through several layers. First, why food behaviors are regulation strategies, not character flaws, and why disordered eating works, at least until it doesn't. Then into interoception, the brain's ability to sense internal body signals, and how disrupted interoceptive awareness drives everything from not knowing you're full to being unable to feel your own emotional states. They trace how visual processing deficits can distort body image and increase stress load, how the default mode network gets locked into self-referential rumination and body obsession, and how the salience network learns to flag the body itself as a threat. Elisabeth breaks down what is actually happening neurologically when the obsessive loop runs, why insight alone does not stop it, and what actually interrupts it: sensory anchoring, movement, proprioceptive tools, and the slow building of emotional processing capacity over time. Jennifer brings it back to the body and the breath, to shame, to the secret eating and the shame spirals that followed, and to what it actually felt like to slowly, gradually come out of that. The episode closes with one of the most important reframes in the whole conversation: healing your relationship with food and your body is not about getting the food right. It is a portal into self-attunement, emotional processing, and relational capacity that ripples into every area of life. It is post-traumatic growth. In This Episode, You Will Learn: Why food behaviors are nervous system regulation strategies, not willpower failures How the absence of early co-regulation leads to using food as a modulation tool Why diets fail without somatic and nervous system support in place How interoceptive deficits drive disordered eating, emotional disconnection, and body image distortion How visual processing issues can compound stress load and body dysmorphia What the default mode network and salience network have to do with food obsession and body rumination Why psychedelics can soften rigid thought loops temporarily but cannot rewire them without nervous system preparation and integration How to interrupt the rumination loop using sensory anchoring, orienting, movement, and proprioception Why shame is harder to metabolize than any food behavior and how to begin working with it somatically How uncoupling pleasure from shame is a critical and often overlooked part of healing the relationship with food and body Why healing the food relationship is one of the deepest portals to relational health and post-traumatic growth Chapter Markers 0:00 - Food as Energy, Rest, and the High Performer Trap 01:08 - Welcome: Moving From Control to Self-Attunement 03:20 - Six Years of Conversations About Food and How Far We Have Come 06:24 - Every Diet Failed. Here Is Why. 08:31 - Food Behaviors Are Regulation Strategies, Not Character Flaws 11:29 - Safety Has to Come Before Pattern Change 14:19 - Perfectionism, the Inner Critic, and Controlling Appearance as a Stress Response 15:43 - How Vision Training Changed Body Image 19:50 - Interoception: The Missing Piece in Food and Body Healing 23:56 - Physical Hunger vs Emotional Need: Learning to Tell the Difference 28:13 - Interrupting the Pattern in Real Time 30:28 - Building Emotional Processing as a Skill 36:56 - The Default Mode Network and Why the Obsessive Loop Runs 40:05 - The Salience Network: When Your Brain Learns Your Body Is a Threat 41:58 - How to Interrupt the Loop: Sensory Anchoring, Movement, and Proprioception 53:14 - Shame, Secret Eating, and How They Get Woven Together 56:12 - Uncoupling Pleasure From Shame: A Portal Back to the Body 1:01:32 - Food as One of the Deepest Portals to Post-Traumatic Growth Ways to Engage with Neurosomatics Join us inside Rewire: This is where you actually experience the practices Jennifer and Elisabeth talk about on the podcast that brought us freedom, self-attunement, a new relationship with food and our body. rewiretrial.com Explore the neurosomatics of boundaries: boundaryrewire.com Introduction to neurosomatics for practitioners, coaches and therapists - The NSI foundations Bundle: https://neurosomaticintelligence.com/workshops/ Wayfinder Journal: Track nervous system patterns and support preparation and integration through Neurosomatic Intelligence: https://stan.store/illuminated Join Jennifer on Sacred Synapse to explore the intersection of neurosomatics and Psychedelic neuroscience: https://www.youtube.com/@sacredsynapse-23 Support the podcast by supporting our sponsors: FREE 1 Year Supply of Vitamin D + 5 Travel Packs from Athletic Greens when you use my exclusive offer: https://www.drinkag1.com/rewired Resources and Research Feusner, Jamie D., et al. "Abnormalities of Object Visual Processing in Body Dysmorphic Disorder." Psychological Medicine, vol. 41, no. 11, 2011, pp. 2385–2397. https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/21557897/ Feusner, Jamie D., et al. "Abnormalities of Visual Processing and Frontostriatal Systems in Body Dysmorphic Disorder." Archives of General Psychiatry, 2010. https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC2853756/ Madsen, Sarah K., et al. "Visual Processing in Anorexia Nervosa and Body Dysmorphic Disorder: A Review." Journal of Psychiatric Research, 2013. https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC3786585/ Dhir, S., et al. "Parameters of Visual Processing Abnormalities in Adults with Body Dysmorphic Disorder." PLOS ONE, 2018. https://pmc.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/articles/PMC6261110/ ​​Khalsa, Sahib S., et al. "Interoceptive Awareness in Anorexia Nervosa: Disturbances in Body Awareness." Biological Psychiatry, vol. 75, no. 4, 2014, pp. 275–281. https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/24090776/ Pollatos, Olga, et al. "Reduced Perception of Bodily Signals in Anorexia Nervosa." Eating Behaviors, vol. 9, no. 4, 2008, pp. 381–388. https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/18928907/ Jenkinson, Paul M., et al. "Interoceptive Sensitivity and Eating Disorder Psychopathology: A Meta-Analysis." Neuroscience & Biobehavioral Reviews, vol. 92, 2018, pp. 387–397. https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/29935263/ Trauma Rewired podcast is intended to educate and inform but does not constitute medical, psychological or other professional advice or services. Always consult a qualified medical professional about your specific circumstances before making any decisions based on what you hear. We share our experiences, explore trauma, physical reactions, mental health and disease. If you become distressed by our content, please stop listening and seek professional support when needed. Do not continue to listen if the conversations are having a negative impact on your health and well-being. 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