Post Traumatic Parenting

<p>What if your child’s “behavior problem” isn’t a behavior problem at all?</p><p></p><p>In this deeply practical and paradigm-shifting conversation, I sit down with clinical psychologist Dr. Ross Greene, originator of the Collaborative and Proactive Solutions (CPS) approach, to rethink everything we’ve been taught about parenting, discipline, and so-called “challenging behavior.”</p><p></p><p>Dr. Greene, author of The Explosive Child and Lost at School, shares how years of working with children and families led him to one central realization: kids don’t fail to meet expectations because they “won’t," they struggle because they “can’t yet.”</p><p></p><p>Together, we explore why traditional tools like sticker charts, timeouts, punishments, and “tough love” often miss the real issue entirely; and how they can damage trust and connection in the process.</p><p></p><p>Instead, Dr. Greene offers a radically different approach: one that prioritizes collaboration, curiosity, and solving the real problems behind behavior rather than reacting to the behavior itself.</p><p></p><p></p><p>Topics covered in this episode:</p><p></p><p></p><ul><li>The hidden flaw in behavior-based discipline systems (timeouts, sticker charts, rewards)</li><li>Why behavior is often a signal, not the problem itself</li><li>How trauma shapes both kids’ behavior and parents’ reactions</li><li>Why “proactive” problem solving reduces conflict and overwhelm</li><li>What to do when kids shut down, escalate, or refuse to talk</li></ul><p></p><p>About the Guest:</p><p></p><p>Dr. Ross Greene is a clinical psychologist and the originator of Collaborative and Proactive Solutions (CPS), an evidence-based approach to understanding and supporting children with behavioral challenges. He is the author of several influential books, including <a href="https://www.amazon.com/Explosive-Child-Understanding-Frustrated-Chronically/dp/0062270451/ref=sr_1_1?ie=UTF8&amp;qid=1459714667&amp;sr=8-1&amp;keywords=explosive+child">The Explosive Child</a>, <a href="https://www.amazon.com/Lost-School-Behavioral-Challenges-published/dp/B00Y34F5SQ/ref=sr_1_5?s=books&amp;ie=UTF8&amp;qid=1459715501&amp;sr=1-5">Lost at School</a>, and <a href="https://www.amazon.com/Lost-Found-Behaviorally-Challenging-Students/dp/1118898575/ref=pd_sim_sbs_14_3?ie=UTF8&amp;dpID=51MEO9wsCuL&amp;dpSrc=sims&amp;preST=_AC_UL160_SR106%2C160_&amp;refRID=0Y68C8MP1GJ869GZPVPZ">Lost and Found</a>, as well as his recently published book <a href="https://www.amazon.com/Kids-Who-Arent-Okay-Reimagining-ebook/dp/B0DV6M7NBB/ref=tmm_kin_swatch_0">The Kids Who Aren’t Okay: The Urgent Case for Re-Imagining Support, Belonging, and Hope in Schools</a>. To learn more about Dr. Ross Greene, and to buy copies of his books, you can visit his website <a href="https://www.stephaniefoo.me/">here</a>.</p><p></p><p></p><p>Connect with me on Instagram<a href="https://www.instagram.com/dr.koslowitzpsychology/" style="color:rgb(17,85,204);background-color:rgb(255,255,255);"> @dr.koslowitzpsychology</a> and check out my new book <a href="https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0DCSWBL4M" style="color:rgb(17,85,204);background-color:rgb(255,255,255);">Post-Traumatic Parenting: Break the Cycle and Become the Parent You Always Wanted to Be</a></p>

<p>What if the pressure to “get parenting right” is actually coming from your trauma?</p><p></p><p>In this powerful and deeply validating conversation, I sit down with Stephanie Foo, author of What My Bones Know, to unpack what it really means to parent while healing from complex PTSD.</p><p></p><p>Together, we explore the intense fear many trauma survivors carry into parenting; the belief that one wrong move could damage their child forever. We also discuss how modern parenting culture often amplifies that fear instead of easing it.</p><p></p><p>Stephanie shares her personal journey of becoming a mother while navigating C-PTSD, including the anxiety, perfectionism, and overwhelming pressure to control every outcome.</p><p></p><p></p><p>This episode is a must listen for anyone who has ever wondered:</p><p>“Am I messing up my child?”</p><p></p><p></p><p>Topics covered in this episode:</p><p></p><ul><li>Why “perfect parenting” is often a trauma response</li><li>The hidden ways parenting advice can prey on vulnerable moms</li><li>The difference between child distress and actual harm</li><li>Why control doesn’t create safety (and what does instead)</li><li>How C-PTSD shows up in parenting from hyper-attunement to dissociation</li><li>The truth about attachment (hint: you only need to get it right ~30% of the time)</li><li>The role of repair, not perfection, in raising resilient children</li></ul><p></p><p>About the Guest:</p><p></p><p>Stephanie Foo is the author of the bestselling memoir <a href="https://bookshop.org/p/books/what-my-bones-know-a-memoir-of-healing-from-complex-trauma-stephanie-foo/916e2e6fdff307fd?ean=9780593238127&amp;next=t&amp;utm_source=google&amp;utm_medium=cpc&amp;utm_campaign=%7Bcampaignname%7D&amp;utm_content=6443417794&amp;gad_source=1&amp;gad_campaignid=16235479093&amp;gbraid=0AAAAACfld42wm3ZJYOrS192gzz20OPUOL&amp;gclid=CjwKCAjwyYPOBhBxEiwAgpT8P353Fr1ludibZnz305XmuimN8dbxEz4KYcG_sFKBVNuexJAUxJkqshoC0ukQAvD_BwE">What My Bones Know</a>, where she chronicles her journey of healing from complex PTSD. Her work has helped bring C-PTSD into mainstream conversation, giving voice to experiences that were long misunderstood or overlooked. To read more about Stephanie, and to buy a copy of her book, you can visit her website <a href="https://www.stephaniefoo.me/">here</a>.</p><p></p><p></p><p>Connect with me on Instagram<a href="https://www.instagram.com/dr.koslowitzpsychology/" style="color:rgb(17,85,204);background-color:rgb(255,255,255);"> @dr.koslowitzpsychology</a> and check out my new book <a href="https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0DCSWBL4M" style="color:rgb(17,85,204);background-color:rgb(255,255,255);">Post-Traumatic Parenting: Break the Cycle and Become the Parent You Always Wanted to Be</a></p>

<p>What if the deepest wound a child carries isn’t what happened to them, but the feeling that they don’t matter?</p><p></p><p>In this episode, I speak with John Miles, host of the Passion Struck podcast and author of You Matter, Luma, to explore the hidden impact of emotional invisibility, achievement culture, and what it really means for a child to feel seen.</p><p></p><p>John shares his personal journey from high-achieving executive to feeling “invisible” in his own life, and how that experience led him to a deeper mission: helping children and adults reclaim their sense of mattering.</p><p></p><p>Together, we unpack why so many trauma survivors become high achievers, how “good” and compliant kids are often overlooked, and why feeling seen (not just safe or successful) is foundational to healing.</p><p></p><p>This conversation is a must-listen for any parent who wants to break generational cycles and raise children who know, deep down, that they matter.</p><p></p><p>Topics covered in this episode:</p><p></p><ul><li>What it means to “disappear” in your own life and why it happens</li><li>The difference between belonging vs. mattering</li><li>Why high-achieving environments can actually erase identity</li><li>How childhood trauma can lead to achievement-based self-worth</li><li>The hidden struggle of quiet, compliant kids</li><li>Why being “easy” doesn’t mean a child is okay</li><li>The concept of the "mattering gap"</li><li>How emotional invisibility impacts long-term mental health</li></ul><p></p><p>Connect with me on Instagram<a href="https://www.instagram.com/dr.koslowitzpsychology/" style="color:rgb(17,85,204);background-color:rgb(255,255,255);"> @dr.koslowitzpsychology</a> and check out my new book <a href="https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0DCSWBL4M" style="color:rgb(17,85,204);background-color:rgb(255,255,255);">Post-Traumatic Parenting: Break the Cycle and Become the Parent You Always Wanted to Be</a></p><p></p><p>To connect with John Miles, click <a href="https://johnrmiles.com/">here</a> to visit his website. You can also visit the website <a href="https://youmatterluma.com/#thebook">You Matter, Luma</a> to buy a copy of his recently released book!</p>

<p>What if the symptoms you’re ashamed of once saved your life?</p><p></p><p>In this powerful and deeply human episode, I sit down with Sally Maslansky, LMFT author of A Brilliant Adaptation and longtime patient of Daniel J. Siegel, to explore dissociation, DID, adoption, attachment, and what it truly means to make sense of your story so your child doesn’t have to carry it.</p><p></p><p>Sally shares her extraordinary journey of living with Dissociative Identity Disorder — and fully healing from it — through relational, attachment-based therapy. We talk about:</p><p></p><ul><li>Why DID is not what movies portray it to be</li><li>What dissociation actually is (and why it’s often brilliant)</li><li>How parenting can awaken unresolved trauma</li><li>The difference between protecting your child from their story… and helping them make sense of it</li><li>Why behavior is almost never “bad”</li><li>How repair transforms parenting</li><li>And why relationships cause harm — but relationships also heal it</li></ul><p></p><p>Sally’s story reminds us that dissociation isn’t pathology, it’s adaptation. And healing doesn’t require perfection — it requires safety, relationship, and the courage to face your own story.</p><p></p><p>This episode is for you if you’ve ever wondered:</p><ul><li>“Am I broken?”</li><li>“Why does parenting trigger me?”</li><li>“Can trauma really heal?”</li><li>“Is integration actually possible?”</li></ul><p></p><p>Connect with me on Instagram<a href="https://www.instagram.com/dr.koslowitzpsychology/" style="color:rgb(17,85,204);background-color:rgb(255,255,255);"> @dr.koslowitzpsychology</a> and check out my new book <a href="https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0DCSWBL4M" style="color:rgb(17,85,204);background-color:rgb(255,255,255);">Post-Traumatic Parenting: Break the Cycle and Become the Parent You Always Wanted to Be</a></p><p></p><p>Connect with Sally Maslansky, LMFT at her website <a href="https://sallymaslansky.com/">sallymaslansky.com</a> and check out Sally Maslansky's book <a href="https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0DW6D1QRZ">A Brilliant Adaptation: How Dissociative Identity Disorder &amp; the Power of the Therapeutic Bond Saved Me</a></p>

<p>What if the very fact that you’re worried about passing on your trauma means you probably won’t?</p><p></p><p>In this episode, I’m joined by Dr. Frank Putnam, one of the world’s leading researchers on child maltreatment, dissociation, and intergenerational trauma, for a profound and deeply hopeful conversation about what really happens to the brain and body after childhood abuse… and what actually breaks the cycle.</p><p></p><p>Dr. Putnam shares insights from his 35+ year longitudinal study following sexually abused girls across generations, along with what he’s learned from decades of clinical work and trauma intervention. We talk about dissociation as a survival response, why trauma accelerates biological aging, and the single most important factor that predicts whether abuse gets passed down.</p><p></p><p>Yes, trauma leaves marks; psychologically, relationally, even biologically. But no, it does not make harm inevitable. In fact, most survivors do not go on to maltreat their children. And the difference often comes down to one powerful act: acknowledging what happened.</p><p></p><p>If you’ve ever felt damaged, polluted, afraid you’re doomed to repeat what you lived through, this episode offers science-backed hope.</p><p></p>Topics Covered in This Episode:<ol><li>Why 70% of parents with maltreatment histories do not go on to abuse their children</li><li>The single most important factor that reduces intergenerational transmission of trauma</li><li>What dissociation actually is (fight, flight… and freeze) and why it can feel calming</li><li>When dissociation becomes adaptive and when it starts interfering with life</li><li>How parenting helps children develop integration between emotional “states”</li><li>What happens biologically after childhood trauma including accelerated puberty, immune disruption, and epigenetic aging</li><li>Why trauma survivors often experience autoimmune disorders, chronic illness, or early health decline</li><li>Whether biological aging from trauma is reversible</li><li>The role of CBT and TF-CBT in healing trauma</li><li>Why “self-care is childcare” isn’t cliché; it’s neuroscience</li></ol><p></p><p></p><p></p><p>Connect with me on Instagram<a href="https://www.instagram.com/dr.koslowitzpsychology/" style="color:rgb(17,85,204);background-color:rgb(255,255,255);"> @dr.koslowitzpsychology</a> and check out my new book <a href="https://www.amazon.com/dp/B0DCSWBL4M" style="color:rgb(17,85,204);background-color:rgb(255,255,255);">Post-Traumatic Parenting: Break the Cycle and Become the Parent You Always Wanted to Be</a></p><p></p><p>You can find Dr. Frank Putnam’s book <a href="https://www.amazon.com/Old-Before-Their-Time-Investigating/dp/1032974826/ref=sr_1_1?crid=4PKGC8REVGE0&amp;dib=eyJ2IjoiMSJ9.ZiYM6NM5Ec0QzLuTExCTcQ.3qUWOU_JL-ftORUhS59A_k9R5837Nl9k_xlUXMuqsUs&amp;dib_tag=se&amp;keywords=dr+frank+putnam+old+before+time&amp;qid=1771202656&amp;sprefix=dr+frank+putnam+old+before+tim%2Caps%2C182&amp;sr=8-1">Old Before Their Time</a> wherever books are sold. His earlier work, <a href="https://www.amazon.com/Way-Are-Influence-Identities-Personality/dp/0998083305/ref=sr_1_1?crid=21IJTMPY6KPZB&amp;dib=eyJ2IjoiMSJ9.64fPr73jbzWVq8HQBUnUNinutXRk_kfkrciD5cKPbZXvHWeZrJ-v4SnIMc5j6_1eE2bD2Z-q-jz_xn5R3uPGzal3z-OqJG9l0dZmij_TeQk.NjyKJhuO_jwGF-ccctakJV4-A8rloaGJnHx3Lw6INJk&amp;dib_tag=se&amp;keywords=dr+frank+putnam&amp;qid=1771202571&amp;sprefix=dr+frank+putnam%2Caps%2C226&amp;sr=8-1">The Way We Are</a>, explores personality, state transitions, and integration.</p>