With the onset of every artwork I go through a period of brain-explosions. New sights, books, films, relationships, materials, journals, tours, possibilities, all wash over my little boat like a tidal wave. For a conceptual artist it’s analogous to being water-boarded, because it can feel like you’re drowning, but you’re actually not drowning - it’s a trick. So I had a cup of tea and made some useless diagrams.

My passport keeps flashing at me from in-amongst my photos of New Hampshire gravestones. The golden Lion is singing to me with it’s lovely crown atop it’s mullet-head, and the Unicorn is screaming and bucking against its crown, which has been pulled down around its neck and chained to the floor. This motif represents the relationships between England and it’s conquered lands. Specifically, in this symbol the Unicorn is Scotland. Wales (or as my good friend Seung youn calls it, “what’s the name of the fourth one?”), has the national symbol of the Dragon. And what does Ireland have? The Leprechaun?  

Before I go any further, I want to quickly point out that I have no skin in the Best-UK-National-Symbol game; my blood is Irish on my father’s side, and on my mother’s it’s Scottish. I was born in Wales and grew up in England. I’m like the combined captain-planet of UK countries - or that bit when the Power Rangers assemble into a crap machine.

I have complex feelings about the relationships between these countries, as any British person does, but all I want to talk about here are the symbols - just imagine we’re discussing Pokemon, and don’t get too deep.

So, on the theme of Pokemon, let’s address the Mr. Mime in the room - the Leprechaun.

What are these weird humanoid things doing playing around with the magical creatures? Is it the National mascot of Ireland, or isn’t it? Ask anyone on the street: “Lion, Unicorn, Dragon, and…?” They will most likely say: “Shamrock… no, Leprechaun… no, wait?” But after a quick google search, I discovered that the Hare is actually the national animal of Ireland! Well if the dragon was a backing-dancer in the romance between the Lion and Unicorn, then the hare isn’t even caught on camera. That makes me feel kind of sad tbh.

I couldn’t get this off my mind, so I made some Venn diagrams; one with a Leprechaun, and one with a Hare.

I feel like the Leprechaun is more famous as an Irish symbol, and somehow it fits better because it’s magical, just like the Unicorn and the dragon are magical. However, in this mix the lion would be the odd one out, because it isn’t magical… So if the Hare was the symbol of Ireland, then it would make the Lion stick out less, because there would be two normal animals in the mix. But I always thought that the Lion was supposed to stick out because it was the winner of the fight. No one knows that the Hare is the symbol of Ireland, but at least it has the decency of being an actual animal - the Leprechaun looks very odd hiding between all these animals. You’re a human, get back in your lane!

Lions and dragons are both quite scary, but Leprechauns, Hares and Unicorns are quite fun and peaceful - so there’s an even divide on both counts there. 

Now, if we’re talking about gold, both the Dragon and Leprechaun have some ties there. The Dragon will kill you to keep its gold, but the Leprechaun will literally give it away.

Let’s talk rainbows. The Unicorn travels around on rainbows, the Leprechaun lives at the end of rainbows - so they are well acquainted and share some real-estate there.

Thematically, the Leprechaun is looking pretty good as the symbol of Ireland, we’ve got magic, gold, rainbows… Perhaps if we could somehow dress the Hare as a Leprechaun and give it a pot of gold, it would be a more fitting symbol. In any case, I feel much calmer now that I’ve diagrammed this all out. 

Let’s move on. 

National plants. So England has the Rose, Scotland has the Thistle, Wales has the Daffodil, and Ireland turns up with a shamrock. Okay, so we have another odd-one-out here. Obviously the Rose and Thistle get along well because they are both pretty flowers, but they are also really spiky and can hurt you. Yes, it’s always about the England / Scotland drama. They also bloom similar times. Daffodil is a more peaceful flower, and blooms in spring. Now, although the Shamrock does technically flower, Ireland turns up with the leaf-based situation instead. Red roses, Blue Thistles, Yellow Daffodils - all prime colours. Green is tertiary… hmmm.

Again, it feels a little like England and Scotland got together and co-ordinated for the drama, they sent Wales a memo and let her know that she was yellow, but Ireland wasn’t really briefed.  As a whole the consistency is lacking, and that reflects on everyone.

The key takeaway here is to always consider graphics from the outset - whether you’re opening a restaurant, launching a product, or enslaving an empire - graphics should be considered from the start. Put together a branding guide so that everyone is on the same page, and plan that guide to be scalable. On a positive note, I like that Ireland has things which are a bit different, it stands out from the crowd, and that’s an achievement in itself. 

I apologise for the commitment you made in reading the entirety of this idiotic blog post. Please enjoy the rest of your weekend!