Down Bad, So Sad

This, simply, was NOT a movie. It was just a series of clips, that were sometimes about turtles, put nonsensically one after the other. Therefore, this episode is just all of us yelling about random things out of order. This movie features a young shell-ebrity, Noah Centineo, some wacky criminals, and a lot of baby turtles. Thank the turtle lord we have a guest host this week, Zach Brown, who makes this horrible movie much more enjoyable. We all had one shell of a time, and you will too!  TURTLES ARE COOL, TURTLES ARE GREAT, THEY'RE GOING TO TAKE OVER THE HUMAN RACE!

Welcome back to middle school! Don't cry too soon, the only part we're reliving in this episode is our intense-hormonal driven love for YA fantasy novels that resemble fanfiction. This movie is horrible and you will NOT enjoy it, even if you enjoyed it as a child. Therefore, do not watch it again, just listen to this episode instead. 

WILLLLLLLARRDDDDDDDDDD THERE'S RATS IN THE BASEMENT!!! In this movie, a terrifying, touch-starved man becomes friends with a rat, SocRATes, and enemies with one of the best mob bosses the world has ever seen, a rat named Ben. He then proceeds to have a vaguely erotic relationship with SocRATes... and his mother... and his coworker...and even Ben. This movie is the new standard for cinema; A masterpiece... or even, a RATSerpiece. 

This movie is extra salty, it's like that really expensive Himalayan Pink Salt that you get at Whole Foods or something. Pure salt. It's got salty morsels, salty bands, and salty fight scenes. Jennifer's Body is a movie that is undeniably campy, but is so full of entertaining dialogue that you can't help but enjoy it. Too bad it was marketed towards men and failed when it first came out, which is what makes this movie a perfect fit for Down Bad, So Sad. 

Trolls? This movie has none of them! But, what it does have is homoerotic undertones, a sensual corn scene, and Big Dairy propaganda! Join Anya and Victoria this week as they try to decipher the very strange town of Nilbog—and also compete for the best goblin impression.