Dr. Kate Balestrieri interviews University of Washington professor Dr. Nicole McNichols who has taught “The Diversity of Human Sexuality” for about 15 years. They discuss McNichols’ book, “You Could Be Having Better Sex,” and answer a listener who wants to improve an already good sex life. Dr. McNichols introduces “micro-novelty” and explains how nonsexual forms of intimacy—intellectual, spiritual, aesthetic, and future-oriented—can strengthen sexual connection. She outlines her hierarchy of sexual needs (physical/psychological; social/emotional; creative/self-expressive) and reframes fantasies as pathways to desired feelings. They address mismatched effort, women’s sexual emotional labor (including the “fifth shift”), the harms of faking orgasms, and using curiosity, communication, and therapy to navigate blocks, emphasizing that pleasure is a birthright. 00:00 Meet Dr Nicole McNichols 01:20 UW Sex Class 02:10 Sex Ed Gaps 03:49 New Book Why 05:05 Listener Wants More (Question) 05:48 Micro Novelty Tips 07:05 Beyond Bedroom Intimacy 08:06 Intellectual Intimacy 10:21 Spiritual Aesthetic Intimacy 13:37 Permission For More 15:49 Sex Needs Pyramid 21:17 Fantasies As Metaphors 21:38 Sexual Growth Skills 22:42 The Fifth Shift Explained 25:00 Why Desire Drops 26:13 Stop Faking Pleasure 27:29 Talking Without Blame 29:38 When Truth Feels Betraying 33:30 Curiosity Questions That Work 38:42 Where To Find Dr. McNichols Dr. Nicole McNicholsBook: You Could Having Better Sex https://www.amazon.com/You-Could-Having-Better-Sex/dp/1668053772/ref=sr_1_1?crid=1PVG61UHELD4J&dib=eyJ2IjoiMSJ9.TGA7IggxO47gFh5N7FNfeBdXNGVVmI5-9DvqXOTAcaNsnnyIvLnAi7cUiILcSlagzzthTiIXbfp0sf7GuFRPS8CibcFU1gSObU0J26bQz5hxWLmIgIIGDDAifMs_B3yFxLFBl3-24vDuMyh_QUX5qg._m6W5rD2D4ok2dM0UpMgNTOy-DdC2wwNRdUC8KTgrYI&dib_tag=se&keywords=you+could+be+having+better+sex&qid=1771878717&sprefix=you+could,aps,195&sr=8-1 Website: www.nicolethesexprofessor.comInstagram (@Nicole_TheSexProfessor)TikTok: (@Nicole_TheSexProfessor) Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices